The Reality (or Hope) in the Dream

I've had vivid dreams before, some scary, some funny, some sad.  I've had a few that were so realistic that I work up crying or in pain from a dream fall. But usually my dreams are a mixed up jumble of people I know, places I've been, and things I wish would happen or things that have happened.  Also, I am rarely truly myself in my dreams.  I'm either seeing through someone else's eyes or I'm an inaccurate version (age, weight, physical abilities, etc). of my self.  Last night I had a dream that was vivid, visceral, and accurate in location and characters, including myself - I was who I am and how I am now.

Before I tell you about the dream, I have to provide a little background.  So, there is this guy (I know, isn't there always?) that I'm very much interested in.  Though he's sort of indicated that he might be interested in, he hasn't actually taken that final step to ask me out, etc.  So I've been wondering (of course) what might be holding him back.  The usual thoughts (he's married, or dating someone; he doesn't want to date a black woman; I'm too tall; he doesn't really like me) have all gone through my head.  But apparently my dream world decided to make up a whole other story...one that was convoluted and detailed and makes sense (in my dream world).  But it wasn't the story that stuck with me from this dream, but just how real it actually was.

The Dream: I'm at work (where I work now, including the set up of book overflow that are in my office) and I'm going out into the hallway to leave the suite, but he walks in...carrying two young boys (3 year old twins...not sure how I know this, I just do).  He sets them down and tells me that the reason he hadn't asked me out was because he wasn't sure how I would feel about his having two children from a previous relationship.  He also explained that he was wary about bringing new people into their lives, especially women.  I, of course, immediately go to the kids and start talking to them.  They are adorable, though not identical (again, the detail is astounding).  Their names were Kyle and Avery (yep, they had names).  I spend time bonding with the boys (they take to me quickly!).  And the next thing I know, the guy and I are a couple! (I know, talk about dream world).  He grabs me in a huge hug and swings me around my office (knocking books off - I even see the dust fly into the air).  Then the boys start talking about their playroom and how much they want me to see it.  The guy nods and says that of course I can come over to his beautiful house and see the kids' playroom (I have been deemed safe to see where he lives).  He then hands me his phone and says, "I need your phone number."  I actually feel the phone and see myself entering my number.  Then the boys want me to take a picture with them so that it will be on their dad's phone.  The dream ends with him telling the boys that its time to go and that he'll call me later.  I'm sitting in my desk chair and he comes over to say goodbye, kissing me right on the lips and then they are gone.  I then turn to find my colleagues all standing around and smiling and laughing at me (as they would in real life).  And then another person who sort of knows what is going on is there and I'm thinking him for his help in getting the guy to come there and actually move forward.

So, the remaining odd things:

1. Normally when I dream of people, even people I know, something about them is distorted. Their voices aren't right, or I can't see their faces (I usually can't see their faces, which can be scary).  But my mystery guy was as clear as day to me.  I could see his smile and his eyes, his face was as clear as it woudl be if he had been standing next to me right now.  When he hugged me I felt his strength and his arms.  When the kids were sitting on my lap I felt their weight.  I could even feel the softness of their hair.  I mentioned that I could feel the cell phone in my hands, the weight and the buttons.  The glow of the numbers as I typed in my phone number.
   
2.  The fact that my office was as it is now.  The fact that I was actually in Miami, in my office, and I looked like it does now.  The fact that the hallway out of the reference suite was exactly as it should be.  The fact that I could see my colleagues faces and for once the only colleagues there were the ones who were supposed to be there.  Usually I have people from my past (friends and foe) showing up in my dreams and I realize right away that I am in a dream and that its not real.

I think it's the fact that everything was so accurate that struck me as odd, because I usually realize I'm in a dream and get very disappointment.  But this time, the dream felt so real, that I didn't get that feeling of disappointment.  Of course, it did come later, when I woke up and realized I was dreaming. But at least the dream was allowed to continue on without me trying to wake up because I know that its just a dream.

Here's to hoping that some of it will come true (I won't tell you which parts I want to be true).  And here's to hoping I have more pleasant dreams (instead of my usual nightmares) tonight.=