Year 2, Day 79: 11/29/12

The Things that Haunt Us.  It's amazing to me when I think about the memories that haunt me.  I remember some of the smallest things - things that would be inconsequential to most people.  But to me, they linger and fester and I can't shake the memories. Today, it was the memory of all of the times I've fallen down (literally, fallen down).  I remember falling as I came home from work while I was in high school.  It was raining and I was rushing to get into the house and slipped and fell on the gravel.  I cried like a baby for that one because I felt so stupid and klutzy.  I remember when I fell playing softball (when I played for Pepsi).  I was running from 2nd to 3rd and just tripped over my own big feet.  I remember when I fell running home after hitting a homerun during practice.  I was just going too fast to control my own weight and fell.  I remember knocking my friend Angie down during a fire drill at the University of Oklahoma.  There was ice on the sidewalks and as I slipped I grabbed Angie - I really felt stupid that day.  I remember falling as I was crossing the street in Chattanooga while leaving school after my class.  I fell and my books went flying right in front of four lanes of moving traffic.  I remember the first time I fell when I was running - I was nearly done with my run around the UTK campus and I tripped over an upraised section in the sidewalk and hit the ground hard.  I followed that up with a trip over my own feet about three weeks later - same area of my run but it was closer to the beginning rather than the end.  Messed up my knee, hand and elbow.  I fell again running when I lived in Raleigh, on the running trail around the lake.  That's all...yes, I remember all of those and they linger in my memories, reminding me of how ungraceful I am, how much of a klutz.  I use those reminders as a way to bring myself down from cloud 9 when I start to think that I have something to offer anyone.  Who would want to be around someone as klutzy as I am?  Just another strike against me.

Year 2, Day 78: 11/28/12

Are We There Yet?  I witnessed some of the worst behavior I've seen in the workplace in a long time today.  Someone actually threw a temper tantrum, like a child would.  No, they did not scream and kick (that would have been too much), but they did talk over people, then make a smart ass remark, before crying.  Yep, a full-on temper tantrum.  The sad part?  They were fussing about something that should have been seen as a positive, and which was presented that way.  Instead, they tried attacking two or three people they felt were causing the problem and went for the jugular.  I'm sorry, but calling someone out by name and asking them if they are doing their job (in so many words), is not being collegial, adult, or anything else that belongs in the workplace.  Follow that up by a meeting where people who have nothing to do with your department decide that you need to do more work, and you've got one hell of a day.

Shipping Woes!  I had to drive down to the UPS customer center to get my package today because I was never home when they tried to deliver it.  This was after I called them because online my package was marked as "return to shipper" even though I had already asked them to hold it.  I then dropped by FedEx to get my other package (I had them hold it there since it was near the UPS location), and then came home to find my other two FedEx packages had arrived...and were delivered!!  Why didn't anyone tell me they would actually leave the damn things under the stairs where they were well hidden?  Why did I have to spend money and gas and time picking up my items?  Lesson learned.  Now off to find a few more things to have delivered.

Year 2, Day 77: 11/27/12

Short Fuse.  Maybe I'm just tired, but I was seriously on a short fuse today.  Part of it was justified - people who really need to get their heads out of their asses, grow up, and stop acting like petty children!  I almost yelled at someone today and I don't do that - especially not people who report to me.  I do worry that I will snap one day and just walk out (not that I can afford to do that!).  I'm thinking I need to get a lottery ticket tomorrow and hope for the best.  Because right now - this career, this life, they are not working for me at all.

I Cannot Begrudge You Your Happiness...Though It Breaks My Heart.  Another friend with happy news, and I'm truly happy for them.  Yet, I died a little more inside today...there is not much left of my heart...

Year 2, Day 76: 11/26/12 - "Everyday"

I got lost, couldn't find my way
And I guess there's nothing more to say...

 But I'm here and here I will stay

So everyday I cry
Yes everyday I fall...

So everyday goes by
And everyday I fall
It makes me wonder why,
My life's worth nothing without you

You'll never know, no, no, no ,no ,no...
No you'll never see

And so the light fades away
Try, try, try as I may
I can't stop thinking about you
It seems my life's worth nothing without you

Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
Everyday, everyday it gets a little harder...

-"Everyday" by Phil Collins

Not Sure Why...I woke up an hour before my alarm was set to go off, shaking as if it were 30 degrees in my apartment, and crying.  It was not a good sensation and I found it to be downright frightening.  I tried to stay in bed and figure out what had triggered this and I finally narrowed it down to two things.

1. Feelings of being overwhelmed.  I know how much I need to do at work and I feel as if I don't have the time or the means to truly do it.  I'm sure this is part of what prompted my temporary nervous breakdown.
2. Feelings of inadequacy.  I went to bed thinking that my efforts to get to know someone long distance were stupid and futile, because once they met me in person, they wouldn't be interested in me any more.  I don't blame them and I almost wish there were a way to meet them before that day, so I could get the disappointment over with and just move.  I think this is the bigger part of what set me off today and really made me feel as if I just couldn't get up.  I know I shouldn't place so much of myself into this process of meeting someone, when I know how it is likely to end.  But a part of me is still a dreamer and that dreamer has reared her ugly head.  The naysayer in me is trying to knock her back down and this is what I think is causing my emotional and physical suffering.

Year 2, Day 75: 11/25/12

Sun Life Stadium and NFL Football  I got to cross something off of my bucket list today - I attended my first NFL football game.  It was at Sun Life Stadium, which is in North Miami, closer to Ft. Lauderdale than to where I live.  I got to go with my friend "V" and her family and friends.  Her mother and sister were part of a group that sang the National Anthem. The game was supposed to be partially dedicated to celebrating organ transplantation, but that never seemed to happen.  We still wore our shirts in support of organ donation and transplantation. 

I did have a good time, though there were a few things to be learned here:

1. Late November in Miami is still hot, especially on a cloudless day.  I had no sunscreen and no hat.  $24 later I had a brand new Dolphins visor that I will now wear for other things...like running!
2. Food is way too expensive at all parks, and the food at the stadium was pretty bad (at least at the grill).  The lemon chill was fine though (and usually is).  The black bean burger was blah.  The fries looked soggy. Barbecue looked good, but I don't eat that.
3. Parking is terrible and expensive and they made someone who was disabled pay $25 to park when there wasn't even a space available.  
4. Don't plan on getting out of the park and home at a reasonable time.  I didn't get home until after 6 and the game ended a little after 3!

Here are my pics of the fun and game(s).

View of Sun Life Stadium

Another view of the stadium

A little bit of football action...or time out action to be exact.

Looking at the jumbotron

Friends having a good time.

Cheerleaders

Bush on the board

And the sprinklers came on...

The Dolphins inflated mascot.

Year 2, Day 74: 11/24/12

A Day Late...A Dollar Short?  Not sure if that works for my Saturday, but that's what my Dad would have said.  I chose not to post lat night (please take note of the word choice here...chose).  I did not forget, I decided not to post.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Maybe I just didn't feel up to it.  Maybe I didn't want to spill my guts to my online journal (and the few friends who occasionally read my posts).  Maybe I didn't feel I could be truthful enough to write what I really felt so I chose not to write at all.  Today I'll have to make up for that.  I hated yesterday.  And the sad thing is, I don't know why.  I spent most of the day doing normal things - I went for my run, I did laundry, I did some cooking, I got some writing in.  But the whole time I just kept thinking, "I hate this."  The problem is, I don't know what the "this" is that I'm referring to.  Do I hate my apartment with my loud neighbors?  Do I hate feeling lonely though I'm surrounded by people in this world?  Do I hate my job, and dread going back on Monday?  Do I hate my life in general?  Yesterday, I think it might have been all of that and then some.  But as I went to bed last night, I couldn't help but to cry a bit...and not understand why.

Year 2, Day 73: 11/23/12

Back Home Again.  I made it back home form my short Thanksgiving trip and though I have a lot to be thankful for, I also had a few things that I could have done without.  Here they are, in no particular order:

• I forgot to take out the trash before I left for my parents on Tuesday.  The apartment does not smell very good right now!
• My uncle is a childish jerk (I say this with love).  My dad asks him not to smoke in the house when I'm visiting (cigarette smoke bothers me a lot), he ignored my dad, chain smoked the first night so that I woke up six times that night and wound up just getting out of bed early and going for a run.  He went almost all day Thursday without doing anything and again smoked during the night when I was trying to sleep.  And then today (Friday), he didn't even try to pretend that he wasn't smoking in the house.  Like I said, a childish jerk...but he's family, so what can you do?

Year 2, Day 72: 11/22/12

Happy Thanksgiving.  What am I thankful for today (and hopefully everyday)?  Today, I'm thankful to be alive and to have a family that I can enjoy time with.  It isn't always fun, and yes - we fight, but there is always love there.  I'm grateful that the get together my mom planned was well attended and had great turn out.  I'm thankful that I got to meet my newest cousin (welcome, Christena Aalliyah Danielle Allen), and see her with her great grandmother.  I'm thankful that my uncle came out of his cave of a room and tried to socialize (yes, tried!).  I'm thankful that I had a roof over my head, food on the table, and love in my heart.

Year 2, Day 71: 11/21/12

Happy Pre-Turkey Day!  I am completely done in - been up cooking since pre-8am.  We did pinto beans, the turkey, cornbread for the dressing, an oreo cake (for my niece's belated birthday), failed cupcakes (turned into brownies!), green beans, 2 7-layer salads, potato salad, turnip greens and tomorrow we finish everything else.  Here is a pic of the oreo cake - not sure how it tastes, but hopefully it is tasty!

That's all for tonight - time to get some sleep if I can.

Year 2, Day 70: 11/20/12

Better Late Than Never: I'm sure that is what a lot of people were saying yesterday and will be saying today (Wednesday) as they try to travel home.  I was lucky, my flights were relatively unaffected by weather or the bulk of travel.  As a matter of fact, my last flight got in only 10 minutes late.  After an hour and half drive I finally arrived at my parent's place and settled in to grocery shopping with mom and tv watching with dad.  Thus, I didn't do a post yesterday.  The good news is that my parents got the Internet at their home (finally!) so I can check my e-mail, post on my blog, and do research while I'm here.  Nothing too eventful from yesterday, though I got to go to work early...and realized I didn't have a key to get into the library!  Oh, and never, ever, do the economy parking at Fort Lauderdale - after I looped the library (15 minutes later), I found the parking...and they still charge me $7.50 a day!  At least I can use my sunpass to pay (no need to try to keep up with a ticket!).

Year 2, Day 69: 11/19/12

Travel Day Tomorrow!  Off to see the fam tomorrow for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Maybe its the stress of getting ready to travel, or maybe it was just because it was Monday but I was not a very pleasant person to be around this morning.  I can say that most of it was due to people who just can't seem to get it together!  All of the waffling over little things and ignoring the larger things that are really at issue.  We really shouldn't still be talking about what types of chairs we want at this stage.  And we should also already know what part of the construction the university is going to cover and which part we have to cover.  ARRRGGHHHH!!!!  But at least I get to go home tomorrow!

Year 2, Day 68: 11/18/12

Laundry Shouldn't Take So Long.  With my stackable washer and dryer, I now find that it takes me hours just to do three loads of laundry!  I started out today at 10am and didn't finish until almost 8pm, and that was just for 3 loads!  The dryer takes twice as long to dry one load as I'm used to.  And the washer is so small that I can't really put a lot in there. I'm definitely starting to think I'm going to be moving at the end of my first year here.  I hate the idea of moving, but really, really, really need to find a place where I can have a full washer and dryer, where the neighbors are courteous enough to not play their music too loud after 10pm, or start doing their laundry before 9am on a Sunday (since their laundry room is right next to my bedroom wall!!!!!).  Oh, and also a place with a better fitness center (or an actual fitness center).  I know, in Miami that is not very likely!

Year 2, Day 67: 11/17/12 - "I Can Dream About You"

"I can dream about you,

If I can't hold you tonight..."

-"I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman

Short and Sweet:  Three phone conversations and things look promising (other than the distance).  Might get to meet in January when he's visiting the area.  Maybe then we'll see whether or not this is anything worth following up on.  In the meantime, I get to wonder and wish and hope.  No matter what, I hope I've made a new friend - I definitely need some of those!

I can dream about you If I can't hold you tonight

Read more: DAN HARTMAN - I CAN DREAM ABOUT YOU LYRICS

I can dream about you If I can't hold you tonight

Read more: DAN HARTMAN - I CAN DREAM ABOUT YOU LYRICS

Year 2, Day 66: 11/16/12

Out and About: Okay, for all of my friends who have told me that I need to get out and do something in Miami, you will be happy to know that I did go out after work tonight.  Some of my coworkers invited me to go to Monty's (Caribbean, seafood, music, dancing, etc).  The baked tilapia was delicious, as were the black beans and rice - very simple but also very generous.  The onion rings were huge, but not all that good (too greasy, not enough breading).  I had to valet park because the lot next to the restaurant was full when I arrived (though they let me in with a ticket...luckily they didn't charge me to go right back out).  But the valet was actually cheaper than the parking in downtown San Antonio!  They had a live band and a DJ.  Others said the other food and the drinks were good, so it seems to be a good place to visit.  I enjoyed it, and it was right by the water, so I felt like I was truly seeing Miami.  And yes, I did get up and dance (they played the Cupid Shuffle, so I had to dance!).  Maybe I'll get to do something fun after Thanksgiving.  Tomorrow, its work, work, work to make up for missing some time for the holidays.  Oh well!

Year 2, Day 65: 11/15/12

Don't Get Your Hopes Up!  Okay, so just when I was getting ready to give up on Match, I may have met someone who is super nice.  Of course, there are issues - he lives in NY...yes, the city and state.  And I'm here, in Miami.  But I just got the chance to talk to him for the first time and we talked for 2 hours.  My first thoughts about the conversation?  It went really well!  And he has a nice voice!  And yes, a NY accent, but its kind of cute.  Oh well, just gotta see where it goes from here.  Who knows, things might work out.  But don't get your hopes up (that's for me as well).  I'm just taking this one day at a time!

Year 2, Day 64: 11/14/12

Surreal Reality  Listening to a non-librarian tell librarians which projects to focus on is downright...scary.  Or maybe just insulting, on at least one level.  That's what I had to endure today and I have no doubt that others were thinking the same thing.  With all of the things going on right now for us, taking on anything new is a bad idea.  But that's what a group was assigned to do today - to focus on something that is not a priority, and that will take the time of a lot of people to accomplish.  So much for not doing any harm.

Year 2, Day 63: 11/13/12

A Full Day of Research and I Accomplished Nothing for Myself...I know that helping out a faculty member is important and I'm glad I did, but I just spent nearly 6 hours trying to find "concrete" information rather than the iffy information available online.  And even when I found it, it wasn't "concrete" enough.  By the time I got done, I had worked on nothing that I was supposed to and it was already 6pm.  Then I spent 45 minutes in traffic.  I think I can easily call this a wasted day!  Now, to find that answer for him so that I can get on with my own research and work needs tomorrow!

Non-NANOWRIMO: My "I'm not participating in Nanowrimo by participating in Nanowrimo" ploy seems to be working.  The story is moving and the words are flowing (okay, sometimes trickling).  I'm at least still motivated by this story, which I suspect will be important for me actually finishing the story.  Of course, I'm also having odd dreams with my characters showing up (very odd!).  But at least that keeps things fresh in my mind (even if a little oddly "real").

Year 2, Day 62: 11/12/12

An Extra Day at Home...Not Good!  We had an extra day off this weekend for Veteran's Day and while I know I should have enjoyed it more, I must say I felt like I wasted the day!  I did get out for my usual Monday morning run, but by the time I got home I was too tired to do more today.  Then I managed to make my lunch for the week, make egg rolls, use of the leftover rice krispies and marshmallows to make some barely edible rice krispie treats, and knit four rows on the next blanket.  Most would call that productive, but not me.  Oh well, back to work tomorrow and lots to do, so I might as well go to bed and hope for another sunny day.

Self Image - Self Conscious: They go hand in hand with me and I know I have a low self-image of myself, which makes me very self conscious whenever I'm out in public.  I'm trying to work on the former since it should automatically improve the latter, but I'm finding it harder and harder to do.  I'm such a realist and so logical that I have trouble listening to my own suggestions for others when I say don't worry about what society thinks of you.  Its easier said than done!

Year 2, Day 61: 11/11/12

Challenge: I've been slacking off on my health lately (despite my constant exercise, vitamin taking, and pseudo-healthy eating), so I decided to challenge myself to lose 10 pounds by Christmas.  That shouldn't be too hard for me - I once lost 30 pounds in one month.  But that was when I still carried around a lot of extra weight, so losing these extra 10 pounds has been like the biggest hurdle I've ever faced.  The odd thing is that I don't feel as if I'm carrying around an extra 10 pounds. Apparently my body type has changed and the 10 pounds have been distributed to different areas (some good and some bad).  But I was able to get into a size 10 dress that I haven't worn since my cruise back in 2010.  Of course, it felt like I was wearing a corset, but who needs to breath, right? I'll start tomorrow on rebalancing my diet, diversifying my workouts, and getting more sleep.  I can only hope that those three things will be enough to help me drop those pounds.  Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of the 10 pounds that I want gone and not the 10 that I don't mind having!

By Popular Demand: Here is a picture of the homemade peanut butter cups that I made.  First of all, let me just say that these were nothing but straight sugar!  If I needed sugar to boost my energy, one of these would be enough to not only boost it, but send me straight into sugar shock!  I doubt I'll ever make them again (at least, not in full-size), because it was also time-consuming.  But wow, talk about too sweet!

Year 2, Day 60: 11/10/12

Getting Out and About...Sort of:  I spent the evening having dinner and conversation and a movie with my supervisor and another colleague.  It was nice to socialize outside of work with the freedom to speak freely.  We also watched Magic Mike which was an interesting movie, to say the least.  There was some nice eye candy, but the story was super weak.  So glad I didn't pay money to see this in the theaters because it would have been a true waste of the cash.  But again, nice eye candy!  I also made dessert for us, peanut butter cups.  I'll post pictures tomorrow since it is so late and I really need to go to sleep!

Year 2, Day 59: 11/9/12

What a Tough Day!  Today was just tough.  Long meetings, odd meetings, impromptu meetings.  Meetings!  I feel as if I got nothing at all accomplished either.  The day also didn't start out great, after the following sequence of events:

• Woke up at 2:30am and took another hour to go back to sleep.
• Went into real sleep right around the time my alarm went off.
• Knocked alarm off of table trying to turn it off, and somehow my glasses were tangled with the cord, so off the table they went too. Spent the next five minutes blindly scrambling around the floor trying to find them.
• Forgot to check the temperature and got dressed for my run as if it was already 80 degrees.  Turned back around and changed before heading out.  Hit the gate to get out of the complex and found it to be locked for the first time since I've moved here.  I have a key, but they did not replace the broken knob on the inside, so I couldn't get out.  Luckily we have a treadmill in the fitness center.
• There was no air blowing in the fitness center, so it was like running in a sauna within 5 minutes.  Then I had to go back out into the cold with no jacket since I didn't expect to be drenched during my run! Also managed to hit my head as I was trying to squeeze between the treadmill and the weight machine.

Too bad I couldn't just go back to bed (no sick leave yet, and had to use it up just for a doctor's appointment).

Year 2, Day 58: 11/8/12 - "My Own Worst Enemy"

"Sometimes it seems to me

I am my own worst enemy..."

-"My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit

Sometimes I'm Not Nice to Myself: When I make a mistake tends to be the obvious times.  Like today, when I realized I had done something accidentally (and easily done) that could come back to hurt someone else.  Never my intention but too late to correct it.  All the way home I was mentally kicking myself, calling myself names, on the verge of tears.  No matter how many times I try to tell myself that it will be okay, that they'll understand, that nothing bad will happen, I always come back around to "yeah, but you screwed up, which makes you stupid."  *sigh*  I really need to work on this because it is definitely not good for my self-esteem or my stress levels.  I know it will keep me from sleeping tonight, and likely tomorrow night, and into the long weekend.  I'll even be thinking about it years from now.  Why?  I'm stupid that way.

Year 2, Day 57: 11/7/12

The Aftermath: I saw and heard a lot of things before and during the election that angered and saddened me.  But nothing hit me as hard as the recent reports of the twitter comments from people that are so hateful, so disgusting, and so completely archaic, that I couldn't even bring myself to post a link to the story here.  I will not sully my blog with their idiocy.  But I will admit to getting teary eyed for the first time over the situation that we are all now in.  We live in a world (not just a country), where we continue to judge people by the color of their skin, or by their gender.  We continue to tell people they can or cannot do something because that was the way it was years ago.  As a black female, I feel as if I am hit over the head daily with stories about people of color or women (or both) doing something that others aren't sure they should do.  My case in point?  A story about a 9 year old girl who is playing tackle football...and kicking ass at it.  Instead of people just saying "hey, there is this 9 year old kid who is a dynamo on the football field" we hear "Isn't it great that she is doing this, but I think her family should be worried about her getting hurt...I'm not sure girls should play football!"  I say? Shut the fuck up and stop trying to classify someone based on their gender! Why do women have to prove everyday that some of us an and should be able to do the same things that men do?  There are things about us that do make us different (male vs. female) and in those things, yes, we likely should not try to change nature.  But in the things that we have created...int his world that we have created, there is no reason why some women should not be able to do the same things as men.

Isn't it enough that for the majority of us, we will never be as strong or as fast?  But we don't have to beat you to be able to participate and excel.  Women can run marathons and not hurt themselves any more than a man running the same marathon.  A man will come in first, but women aren't far behind.  At this year's Boston marathon, the top female finisher was only 18 minutes behind the top male finisher.  That's only 18 minutes people, not 18 hours, or 18 days....18 minutes.  No, I don't think that most women will want to compete with men, especially when we hit levels where men will be bigger and stronger due to nature.  But when we are younger, girls are often faster, taller, bigger, and just as agile as boys.  Let them play while they can!  You might get a surprise or two as some women (like me) will be as big and as strong as the boys...and we'll want to play.  I wish I could have played - I deserved that chance, as do all women.  I hope that one day they will get that chance.

Here's the link to the story about the 9 year old girl.  I hope she keeps playing for as long as she can! 

Year 2, Day 56: 11/6/12

Election Drama: I said I wasn't going to watch the election results, but I can't help it - it's too important for me to pretend that I don't want to know what is going on.  I started the night down, feeling as if we didn't have a chance, but the rest of the world is saying "hold on" because nothing is written in stone.  It's tight, is all I know.  I know people say that Obama winning in 2008 was big and it was a big deal for our country.  But it would be an even bigger deal if he won tonight, because it would prove that we could look past our prejudices, past our insecurities and make a decision based on real issues.  We'll have to see.  The larger counties in Florida are still out, so it's not over yet.  I might not be able to sleep tonight...

Year 2, Day 55: 11/5/12 - "Foolish Games"

"And I watched from my window

Always felt I was outside

Looking in on you.

Well excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else

Somebody who gave a damn

Somebody more like myself..."

-"Foolish Games" by Jewel

Letting Go: It's so easy to hang on to something because it gives you comfort or hope.  But there has to be a time when you let those false things go, especially when you realize that they are based on a false idea.  I knew that there was a never a chance for us - knew that we would never be together, but I always had hope.  Thank you for taking that from me, today.  I am a bit thick-skulled at times and I didn't want to see the message, but it was loud and clear.  I'm so glad I never told you how I felt - because now I don't ever have to and I can at least still have the one thing that is true, and that is our friendship.

Why I Teach, and Why I Will Continue to Teach:  I got the following message from one of my student's who took my class back when I was at NCSU:

hey kawanna,
I am in vet school now and we are doing application based learning exercises right now which requires lots of library research. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate the leg up your class gave me in my research and citation skills. I am using refworks account I made for the class :)

Now, if that isn't a reason to be happy to be a teacher, I don't know what else is!  It helps that this was a bright student (though, I think all of my students were bright!).  I know she'll be a great vet and I can't wait to see what else she does in life!

The Future of America?  I've often expressed my concern about the ability of the generation that is coming up now to actually keep our society going in any positive direction.  Today I had those concerns (fears?) affirmed (or reaffirmed?).  I was on the 2nd lap of my morning run around the park that is near my house, and what do I smell?  Smoke.  But not just any smoke - marijuana smoke (no, you don't have to smoke it to know what it smells like).  There was a group of kids standing next to one of the park benches and I saw one of them spew the smoke out and then place his hand behind him as I approached.  Did he really think that I couldn't smell the smoke?  Does he really think that people are that stupid that they don't know what he and his friends were doing?  My response, I asked them to at least take it away from the track.  I can't make them make better choices about their lives (not smoking marijuana before getting on the school bus or driving off in your car would be a better choice), but at least I can let them know that the rest of us aren't oblivious to what they are doing.  We aren't stupid either.  I'd also appreciate not having my air contaminated any more than it already is - I want to run and get an endorphin high, not a drug high!

Year 2, Day 54: 11/4/12 - "Losing My Religion"

"That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough..."

-"Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

Why Are Sunday's So Rough?  This is the 3rd Sunday in a row where I've dealt with a headache for the full day.  I've tried drinking more water, exercising, resting, not reading, etc., and nothing seems to be working.  I'm on the verge of having a migraine here, and that is definitely not something I want to try to deal with leading into the work week.  I can only hope that I'll be able to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling rested and headache free (I can dream, you know!).

Moving the Story: For those who are reading my story, Four Crossings, I'm moving it to it's own blog.  I have a habit of posting the chapters for the story as if they are my true blog post, and that is not the intention of my blog.  So, if you are reading it, here is the link to the new blog just for the story.  Feel free to leave comments there so that I can know how to improve the story.  If anything doesn't make sense, let me know that as well! http://fourcrossings.blogspot.com/

Year 2, Day 53: 11/3/12

Creative Day:  I decided to spend today working on my book and knitting.  The end result?  Over 2,000 words on my book, and over 20 rows knitted on my blanket (which is around 2,000 stitches, give or take!).  Overall, not a bad day for my creative projects.  I'm hoping to continue the theme tomorrow and see if I can do the same number of rows and words.  I also managed to clean the living room, partially clean the bedroom, run 6.3 miles, make (and burn) pancakes, and watch lots of football.  Not bad for a Saturday in November!  Tonight I'm enjoying the extra hour from Day Lights Savings Time and sleeping in tomorrow!  Got lots to do and have to keep my momentum up!

Year 2, Day 52: 11/2/12 - "Simple Man"

"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass...

"Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul...

...don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else..."

-"Simple Man" by Shinedown

Quiet Day: I'm pretending that today was a quiet day, but really it was a crazy one!  Nothing too extreme happened, but I did find out something about someone that makes them someone to add to my "watch" list.  And I also found out that there is always more work to do than there are people to do it.  This is often exacerbated by a few individuals who do not want to do any work!  But really, it was a quiet day...

Year 2, Day 51: 11/1/12

"Blah"  That was my word of the day today - just didn't feel well!  Too bad too, because it was absolutely beautiful outside.  I came home early to rest and knit - it made me feel a bit better but I'm still not "right."  At least tomorrow is Friday and if I can get through that, then I have the weekend.  No plans this time, unlike last week.  Haven't decided yet if that is good or bad!!!!

Year 2, Day 50: 10/31/12 - "Anything Goes"

"But anything goes,
When everything's gone
You ain't around to give a damn,
Whether I do right or wrong
So bring it on,
Anything goes,
When everything's gone."

-"Anything Goes" by Randy Houser

My, My, Aren't We Forgetful!  So last night was truly the first night that I simply forgot to post on my blog.  I've posted late before, usually because I realize that I hadn't done my post right as I was getting into bed.  But I didn't think about posting until later today.  So officially....I forgot.  My excuse?  I don't really have one other than just being overly tired and thinking about too many things.

Halloween Fun:  I don't actually like Halloween...I know, I'm a scrooge for any holiday, not just Christmas.  I had lots of candy this year, though, since I figured there would be kids in the complex who would come around.  But then I found out about the Halloween fair down the street at the park and I knew there would be no kiddies this year.  I wound up getting only 2, really late in the evening.  The rest of the candy has been taken to work to haunt my co-workers.  I did have some fun with baking and made some cute chocolate cupcakes with white icing and orange Halloween themed cookies stuck in them.  Check them out:

Here I Come!  I manged to get both of my tickets for Thanksgiving and Christmas for flights on Southwest, combined for $500.  I have to fly on odd days but I think it will be worth it to see my family.  Of course, it means I have to use up every last bit of my vacation since I don't have much saved up, but so be it!