Year 2, Day 49: 10/30/12

Spookie Cookie Time!  I decided to make sugar cookies for work tomorrow and since it is Halloween, I made them orange!  A few got too brown which means they started to look pink rather than orange, but overall they are very orange-y!  Now I know I can make successful sugar cookies in any color (though I need to be careful with the dye!

Year 2, Day 48: 10/29/12 - "Ocean Front Property"

"I got some ocean front property in Arizona.
From my front porch you can see the sea.
I got some ocean front property in Arizona.
If you'll buy that, I'll throw the golden gate in free."

-"Ocean Front Property" by George Strait

My Newest Plants!  I think these came from the Lufah seeds I planted (that's what I was told they were).  Of course, I can't really tell yet, but I'm so happy they are growing already!  I planted them last Sunday (October 22nd) and when I checked on them on Friday three of them had sprouted!  So I moved them into the living room so they could get better sun and they just started shooting up!  I'll leave them in this small pot for the rest of this week and then try to report them each separately to give them the most room to grow.  Hope I do a better job keeping them alive than I did with my Eddie. :-(

Such Unpredictable Weather!   Here I was worrying that the hurricane would change direction and hit Miami, but it's the upper East Coast that is taking the full brunt of the storm!  Here, we got some rain and wind, but nothing too scary.  Today was much cooler and really very nice in Miami (enough to wear long sleeves all day!).  But the rest of the coast is getting slammed by this Frankenstorm, as they are calling this mess.  I can only hope that people stay inside and stay safe!

Year 2, Day 47: 10/28/12

Voting Woes: After yesterday and today, I can now understand why so many people do not want to bother voting.  It was such a hassle!  I wound up waiting in line for over 3 hours to get into the voting room.  Once in there, it took me less than 5 minutes to fill out my ballot.  Then another five minute wait to get the ballot scanned in.  The worst part?  Once I was in the actual voting room it became very clear what the real issue was: there weren't enough people there to check IDs and verify ballots and information.  They had maybe 5 to 6 checking ID's and giving out the basic ballots.  Then there were only 3 ladies calling out numbers and verifying ballots and giving out the final ballots.  This meant that there was a long line of people waiting outside, while there were over twenty voting booths waiting empty as the volunteers weren't able to keep up with the flow.  Get more volunteers, Florida!  There's no way they can keep up with the demand using only the few they had.

Goodbye, Eddie - Hello, ????  Most people know that I had a houseplant named Eddie, that I gave way too much life too.  Sadly, on the trip to Miami, Eddie decided that he didn't want to move and started to wilt and die.  I tried everything to save him, pruning, repotting, etc.  But nothing worked.  Today I finally threw away the last of Eddie.  I moved Edith (my other plant) into Eddie's larger plot and hopefully she will continue to grow.  In one of my smaller pots I planted some Lufah seeds that were given to me.  On Sunday I planted about eight seeds.  Yesterday I noticed that some had sprouted!  I moved them into the sun and already they have grown another inch (in one day!). Now I'll need to move them to their own pots as well and hope that they grow.  Not sure how long it will take for them to grow their own Lufahs, but it is nice to have something grow instead of die.  But I'll still my Eddie!  I'll start posting pictures of the new plants tomorrow.

Four Crossings, Chapter 2:  For those who are reading Four Crossings for me, here is Chapter 2.  I did make some changes to Chapter 1 based on feedback.  I'll need to update that post with the new information!

Chapter 2

            Des stood crouched in a glade of bushes, though with the weather cooperating by bringing in thick, dark storm clouds to blot out the moon, she really didn’t have much need to hide.

            But she had dressed for all possibilities, covered in black from head to toe, night vision goggles covering her eyes.  Esme was similarly outfitted but waiting in the van where she could also monitor the situation through the small camera and mic that were attached to Des’s gear.

            “What’s your location, Big D?” Esme’s voice crackled through the headset that Des wore.

            Des smiled at the nickname, “I’m ten feet from the tracks near the first switching station, Little E.  Are you in position?”

            “I’m well hidden near the second switching station, awaiting your arrival.  ETA of your transport is four minutes and counting.”

            Des checked the watch on her wrist and set the timer.  “I’ll be going silent in three, back on as soon as I locate the cargo.  Should see you in thirty.”

            “Roger that, Big D.  Be careful out there.”

            Des gave a short laugh, “Ain’t nothing out here scarier than me right now, Little E.  But I’ll be careful.”

            Esme heard the hardness in her sister’s voice along with something that sounded like resignation.  The hardness she understood, but the resignation bothered here.  She’d have to have a talk with her sister when this was all over.

            Three minutes later, the absence of noise through her equipment told her that Des had gone silent.  Now all Esme could do was sit back and wait.

            Des moved closer to the tracks as she saw the transport rolling into the switching station.  The transports were unmanned and controlled by a centralized computer system.  Because of this, switching stations that would have normally been manually tripped to ensure transports stayed on the correct track or switched tracks when needed, were also controlled by the system.  A system that was so old and outdated that the transports had to slow to a stop while the signal was relayed from the main station. 

Des would have, at a minimum, five minutes to break into the cell where the weapon was being kept before the transport moved on.  She would then have a full thirty minutes to assess the weapon and determine whether she would need to destroy it.  Once she arrived at the second switching station she would need to get herself and possibly the weapon, out of the cell and into the waiting van driven by her sister.

Easy enough.  She snorted softly before settling lightly on her toes as she prepared to board the transport.  She wasn’t crazy enough to believe that anything about this job was going to be easy.  She could only hope that whatever awaited her on that transport was something she could handle.

The transport rolled loudly to a halt only a few feet from where Des crouched.  Though she knew the area was empty, her constant scanning and checking since her arrival had reassured her of that, she still hesitated before she stepped out of the shadows of her hiding spot.

There was something about this whole job that was setting off internal warning bells, but they weren’t the usual ones.  Whatever happened tonight, whatever the outcome of this job, Des knew that her life would be forever changed.  This weapon, whatever it was, was going to have a bigger impact on her life than she could even imagine.

Whether that impact was positive or negative was yet to be determined. 

Taking one last deep breath, Des moved quickly out of the bushes and reached the transport in two long strides.  Grabbing the back rail that surrounded the small outer deck she launched herself up and onto the back deck.  Remaining crouched, she pulled a small light from a pocket on her cargo pants and used it to locate the access panel along the back door. 

The keypad looked exactly as Arguletti’s directions had described and Des easily keyed in the ten-digit code that she had memorized.  With a small snick she heard the lock on the door click open.  Remaining small she pulled the door open and slid through as quickly as she could.  Arguletti had assured her that there were no guards traveling with the weapon, but Des thought it best to stay cautious.

The container was cold and dark, but not as quiet as Des had expected it to be.  She remained low, on one knee, listening intently to the sounds the container made. 

She heard a continuous mechanical hum that could be a cooling system or almost anything else.  She forced herself to control her breathing to eliminate her own internal noises from the myriad sounds assailing her.

Another long moment of silence and Des was able to determine the difference between the overhead cooling system controlling the temperature in the container, and the sound of the transport itself.  There was one additional hum that she now focused on, as Arguletti’s directions had informed her that the weapon was contained in a separate system that kept the weapon constantly charged.

After another minute of stillness to assure herself that there were no other sounds to indicate another presence or danger, Des allowed herself a full breath and arose to her full height in the dark room.

And that’s when she knew she had made a mistake.

            Esme sat in the van tinkering with the radio dial, though she knew it was futile.  She checked her watch for what felt like the hundredth time that night and sighed heavily when she realized that only five minutes had passed since Des had gone silent.

            Waiting was always the hardest part, though she knew that Des could handle herself.  And though worrying was about as futile as trying to get a station to come in on the limited range radio, Esme would still worry as she waited for word from her sister.

            She fiddled some more and then sat back with a huff when she was greeted by more static and silence.

            She found her fingers fidgeting towards the dial again when Des’ voice came over the formerly silent ear piece.

“It’s a set up.” Des spoke into her mic as she stared at the solid barrier that had come down after she had accidentally triggered a secondary security system. 

“What?” Esme asked.

Des sighed heavily, “Arguletti set me up, Sis.  He made sure I could get through the so-called security system when it was just a smoke screen.  The real system kicked in the minute I stood up in the container.”

Esme was silent for a moment before her voice finally crackled over the ear piece.

“You trapped?”

Des touched the cool wall, feeling for any weakness or give.  It was a smooth material that seemed to be radiating some sort of energy, but it was not painful to the touch.

“Yeah, looks that way.”

“I’ll come get you.”

“No!”  Des knew her voice was too sharp, but she wouldn’t risk her sister getting caught as well.  She tried to soften her tone, “Not until I know what we’re dealing with.  Stay put until I figure out what I need to do to get out of here.”

Esme was silent which told Des that she had won.  Now she needed to concentrate on how to get out of the container in the thirty minutes she had left.

She abandoned the hi-tech barrier and decided to explore the rest of the space for possible ways out.  The weapon briefly flitted through her mind as a possible tool, but its unknown qualities made her abandon that thought quickly.  She was just as likely to kill herself with it as she was to be able to use it.  If there even was an “it.”

That thought brought her up short as she considered for the first time that there was no weapon and that whatever was in this transport container was indeed valuable but not in the way that she had been told.

“Shit.”

Esme jumped on that one word.  “What?  What is it?”

Des shook her head as if her sister could see her.  “Nothing Esme.  I was just realizing that there might not be a weapon here at all.”

Esme snorted in a way that said ‘I told you so,’ but Des ignored her.

“I’m going to check out the rest of the container to see if I can find another way out.  Keep the com open – I’ll check in as soon as I know something.”

“Five minutes, Sis.  Check in every five minutes so that I know that you are okay.”

Des sighed but understood her sister’s request.  “Every ten, and before you argue, remember that I don’t know how much air I have in here.”

Esme was silent so Des took her silence as assent and began walking around the container.  Despite her initial thought that no one else was in the space with her, Des sensed that she wasn’t alone and pulled the small light from her pants and switched it on.

The container was large but mostly empty.  Swinging the light around quickly, Des turned in a circle until the light flashed off of something in the far back corner.  Focusing in on it, Des moved slowly across the open space until she was able to make out what appeared to be a large metal box standing upright.

Using the light, Des guessed the box was at least seven feet high and five feet across.  She was still too far away to see how deep it was and the dark container did not allow her to see the difference between the depth of the box and the container’s back wall.

Still moving slowly, Des had just stepped within arms reach of the box when she picked up a low hum. She hesitated slightly but continued towards the box when the hum stayed steady and low. 

Placing her hands on the outside of the box, she could feel a steady vibration that seemed to mimic the humming noise she could hear.  She began to run her hands around the box, looking for a latch or a clasp in order to open it, but grunted in frustration when she couldn’t even find a seam.  Whoever had created this box had used stellar technology designed to keep most people out.  But Des wasn’t most people.

She knelt in front of the box and began checking for space near the base.  She spoke while she worked.

“Esme?”

Her sister replied right away.  “Here, Sis.  You got something?”

“Yeah, I may have found the weapon.”

Des could imagine her sister sitting up straighter in the seat of the van as if improving her posture would get her closer to the possible action.

“What is it?”

Des grunted again as she failed to find any openings or seams along the bottom of the box.  “Not sure yet.  The damn thing doesn’t have any seams in the front or along the sides or bottom.  I’m going to climb up on top to see if I can get to the back a little better.”

“Climb up on top?  Des, how big is this thing?”

Des caught the top of the box and tried to clamber up the front towards the top, but found the metal surface to be too slick for her to get a toe hold.  She jumped back to the floor before she responded to her sister.

“About seven feet tall, as far as I can tell.  But I can’t get a foothold and it’s too slick for me to gain any purchase.”

She stepped back further and squinted her eyes at the box before slowly moving around to the side.

            “It’s about six feet deep too.  Whatever is inside of it must be pretty massive.”

            “Too massive for you to move alone?”

          Des heard the eagerness in her sister’s voice and smiled.  “Stay put, Little E.  If I need you I’ll let you know.”

            Esme sighed heavily enough to be heard over the com link but Des ignored her and continued to ponder the dilemma of how to get into the box.

            She used her light to check out the back edge of the box and smirked when she saw that there was at least three inches of space between the box and the wall of the container.

           She stood on tiptoe and ran her fingers down the back of the box slowly, feeling for a latch, a button, a seam.  Anything to indicate a way to open the unit.  Almost exactly halfway down, her gloved finger snagged on what felt like a hole.  She hesitated only briefly before she slipped her finger into the hole and gave a satisfied “hmmph” when her finger pressed a hidden button and she heard the tell-tale release of air as a compression lock released.

            Sliding back, she watch in surprise as the unit appeared to expand in size, with its depth increasing inch by inch.

            “E, I found the switch to open the box.”

            “What’s in it?  What did you find?”

            Des stood in silence for a long moment, simply watching the progression of the box as it slid open.  “Don’t know yet.  It’s still opening.”

            “Well, tell it to hurry up!”

            Des shook her head as if her sister could see her.  Ever the impatient one, Esme never wanted to wait for anything.  But Des had no control over the speed in which the box was opening, and the trepidation she had been feeling since stepping onto the transport container was still there.  She wasn’t sure she really wanted to see what was in the box at all.

            “Should be any minute now, so keep your panties on.”

            Esme snorted, “As if I have any other choice in this place.”

            Des’ smile widened at her sister’s cranky tone.  The lack of decent men in Four Crossings was a whole other issue all together and not one she should be thinking about right then.  It wasn’t as if the answer to that problem was going to be in the box.

            When the box was nearly double the depth it had started at Des sensed that most of the movement had stopped.  She stepped closer to see if there were any additional openings exposed by the movement and had to jump back quickly to avoid the sudden open swing of what was now a type of lid for the box.

            “Whoa!”

            Esme’s voice came over the com link, “What?!  What is it?  You alright?”

            Des took a deep breath before responding.  “Yeah, I’m good.  It just moved in an unexpected way.  But it’s open now.”

            “Well?  What is it then?”

            Des moved around to look into the box, swinging her light into the darkened space, “Patience, young one.  Good things come to those who…”

            She froze as her light flickered over what could only be human flesh.  She narrowed her eyes as she stepped closer to the opening, bracing herself for what she now suspected might be a dead body.

            Esme noticed how her sister had trailed off and went on red alert in the van.  “Des?  What’s going on?  And fuck patience, you’re too damn quiet for it to be something good.”

            Des frowned grimly.  Her sister knew her too well.

            “It’s a body.”

            Esme paused, then “A what?”

            Des took another step toward the opening and steadied her small light, so that it rested on what she could now see was a naked chest.  “A body, Esme.”

            “A dead body?”

            Des shook her head as if her sister could see her and then remembered to speak out loud.  “Not sure yet.  I don’t hear any breathing and I can’t tell if his chest is rising and falling.”

            “So it’s male?”

            Des allowed her light to drift lower over the exposed skin, looking for signs of life and froze over the man’s genitals.  Her eyes widened as her eyebrows rose and she cleared her throat meaningfully.  “Uh, yeah.  He’s definitely male.”

            Esme heard the strangled quality of her sister’s voice and wondered at it.  It took a lot to faze Desdemona Quinn, but something she was seeing was definitely impacting her.

            “Sis, you alright?  Is something wrong with the body?”

            “Not as far as I can see here.” She mumbled before forcing herself to move the light back upwards towards the man’s face.  She was supposed to be figuring out if he was alive, not ogling his package.  But damn!  What a fine package it was!

            Des shook her head as if to clear it and then stepped fully up to the body, using her light at this closer proximity to look for signs of life.  She panned up and over his equally wide and impressive chest, but still could not tell by sight if he was breathing.  Then her light glinted off of something that looked like a wire or a tube.

            She stepped even closer and followed the tube to where it appeared to disappear behind his neck.  She couldn’t tell for sure because she couldn’t get close enough to see if it was simply in the box with him or actually connected to him, but she was beginning to have a sinking suspicion about this man.

            Wanting a closer look, she stepped up and into the box, putting herself in as close proximity as she could without actually touching the body.   It was then that she noticed just how big he was.  She had assumed the box was making him seem so much taller, but even after she stepped into the box with her own six foot frame, she realized that the man in the box was nearly a foot taller than she was.

            She still couldn’t see if he was connected to the tubing that she saw but she could now see the slight but steady thrum of his heartbeat in his neck.

            She spoke softly to her sister, “He’s alive.”

            Esme finished the thought, “But?”

            Des sighed heavily, “There’s something strange about him.  He may be hooked up to some sort of tubing in this box.”

            Back in the van Esme rolled her eyes.  “Des, he’s in a box on a transporter headed towards Four Crossing.  I think that would be strange enough.”

            Des agreed with her sister but there was something more.  “I don’t think he’s human, Esme.”

            There was a moment of silence and then her sister’s laughter came over the com link.

            Des ignored the sound and continued her visual perusal of the man, now taking in his features.  She noted the strong, wide jaw and the full lips.  The lighting was too low for her to know whether the shadows she saw on his face were a beard or his complexion.  She took in his nose, quirking a smile as she noticed a tell-tale crookedness and bump that likely indicated a previous break.  His eyes were closed but they were well-spaced and deep set.  His brows were thick and dark and Des expected him to have a matching shock of dark hair but was surprised to see a clean shaven head.

            Her eyes returned to the tubing that she could see behind his neck and she slowly reached towards it, wanting to find out if it was attached to him or not.  Her fingers made tentative contact and she flinched and pulled away at the shock of cold she felt even through her gloves.

            Changing tactics, she moved her hand to his neck and slid it around towards the spot where she expected the tubing to connect with the man if it was going to connect at all.  Her fingers made contact with what felt like a cold metal plate but she couldn’t tell if it was just touching the man’s neck or if it was a part of him.  The metal wasn’t as cold as the tubing had been and she continued exploring it with her fingers, pressing on the skin around the plate and noting that it appeared to be fused with the man’s skin.

            She pulled her hand back slowly and took a step backwards.  The temperature of the box and the extremely slow heartbeat reminded her of the stories she had heard of people being placed in cryostasis.  No one had ever believed the stories, though, and actual reports had indicated that no subjects who had been placed in cryostasis had ever been successfully revived.

            Maybe this man was part of an experiment that had worked.  He clearly had a heartbeat and though shallow, she now realized he was breathing.  She placed her hand softly against his chest to confirm, and felt a soft rising and falling motion.  Despite the chill of the container and the tubing that she had touched earlier, the man himself was actually very warm, his skin feeling near feverish even through her gloves.

            She pulled her hand back slowly and then stood there trying to figure out her next move.  She didn’t know who or what this man was, but his presence in the container and the security system told her that he was important to the people waiting for him in Four Crossings.

            But was he the weapon she had been sent to deliver or destroy?  If he was, she had no clue as to how she could use him for her own purposes.  It was likely that Arguletti had information about him that she did not.  He was likely counting on it. 

But why would he say that it was okay for her to destroy the weapon if the weapon was human?  Des shook her head at her own musings.  The odds of this man being anything other than a man in a box were slim to none.

Des sighed heavily, loud enough for Esme to pick up on it.

“What are you thinking, Big D?”

Des sighed again.  “I’m thinking that I need to quit staring at this naked man and find a way out of this damn container!”

Esme picked up on one word. “Naked?”

Des actually laughed at her sister.  “You would key in on that word, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, you did say it, so you obviously noticed it.”

“Hard not to notice, trust me on that one.”

“No fair, Big D.  I want to see him now!”

Something about the thought of Esme seeing this man naked didn’t sit right with Des.  She couldn’t quite put her finger on the emotion that the thought caused, but it definitely wasn’t good.

“Yeah, well if I don’t get out of this container before we hit Four Crossings, something tells me you’ll see us both on the front page of the Gazette.”

Esme was quiet since she had no suggestions for her sister, other than trying to shoot her way out.  But firing a weapon inside of a metal container was the equivalent of committing suicide.

“I’m going to check out the container again.  See if I can find another way out.”

Not waiting for Esme’s reply, Des tucked her light into her pocket and moved to step down from her perch on the box, when her foot slipped and she fell forward into the hard flesh of the man in the box.  She caught herself with her hands, but her right hand slipped from the man’s tight abs to the box below, making contact with what felt like a series of raised buttons.

Before she could move to explore what she had touched, Des saw the container flood with bright light and felt a change in the body that she now lay flush against.  Lifting her head to look at the man’s face, she stilled as emerald eyes met icy silver.

The man in the box was very much alive and Des had just managed to wake him up.

Year 2, Day 46: 10/27/12

Who Knew? Did you know that Luffa (loofahs) are grown and not made?  I'm honestly not sure where I thought they came from, but I will admit that I had no clue that you grew them...they are a plant!  I now have two of them - one still in its case.  I also now have some growing in a pot in my house - I'll have to see if I can nurture them along and allow them to actually grow into a full-sized plant!  See a picture here.

I Know Nothing About Wine: I had dinner at a colleague's house tonight and since they told me that they were going to make dessert too, I didn't know what to bring!  I lit upon the idea of bringing wine and confirmed with a couple of others that it was a good idea.  I then had to ask what type and brand to get!  I don't drink!!!  Luckily someone suggested Yellow Tail, which I recognized from my time in Texas.  It worked out nicely because my hosts like wine and had meant to get some but had forgotten, so I was able to provide and also feel like I contributed!

Year 2, Day 45: 10/26/12 - "Best of What's Around"

"See, you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
And so can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the Best of What's Around"

-"Best of What's Around" by Dave Matthews Band

Dave Barry Is Super Funny!  I got a late invite to the Richter Library (University of Miami) 50th Anniversary event with Dave Barry and UM President Shalala (love that last name!).  I knew of Dave Barry from his columns which I've read on occasion and found funny.  But I wasn't a Dave Barry "fan"...until now.  He is one funny dude!  The stories, his delivery of them, and President Shalala's style all worked well together.  And they gave us a free mug on the way out (and free goodies on the way in!).  All in all, a good night, worth coming home late for.  The library is gorgeous too!

Year 2, Day 44: 10/25/12

Clearer Vision: Today I attended a retirement party for one of the librarians at work (he has been here for 35 years).  The big surprise of the party was a belly dancer (we all thought they were joking).  The woman came out in her beautiful yellow outfit and the first thing I thought was "she's too big to be wearing so little!"  I immediately had to stop and think about that thought.  Where had it come from?  Who was I to judge?  I realized immediately that I had let societies views of beauty infiltrate my own brain and I was saddened by this.  I watched this woman who was not a size zero, dance around the room, engage with the audience, and smile throughout.  And what I realized was that she was beautiful, curvy, vivacious, energetic, and sexy.  All the things that I believe myself not to be.  I would never show up in public wearing what she had on - not because I'm too big to wear it, but because I lack the confidence in myself to wear it.  This woman didn't lack any confidence and she owned the room because of it.  Despite my best efforts I have let society infiltrate and plant negative thoughts in my head - my subconscious must have been holding on to those thoughts.  They came out today and I was severely disappointed in myself.  I can only hope to one day be as confident as that young woman was today.  Maybe then someone else will see something good in me.

Year 2, Day 43: 10/24/12 - "Every Storm (Runs Out Of Rain)"

"I know you're feeling like you just can't win, but you're trying
It's hard to keep on keepin' on, when you're being pushed around
Don't even know which way is up, just keep spinning down, 'round, down…

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain..."

- "Every Storm (Runs Out Of Rain)" by Gary Allen

Meetings Can Be Hell:  I had almost forgotten just how tedious meetings could be.  The one that was supposed to last for 1.5 hours today reminded for for a number of different reasons.  Reason 1: We ran way over time but some people just wanted to keep talking about things not on the agenda and not of immediate import.  Reason 2: Certain people can not stay on topic and just don't know how to shut up!  Reason 3: No one was bothering to bring anything back to a final decision or at least a final synopsis of what was discussed and what needed to be done.  This all means that nothing will be done and we'll be talking about the same things all over again.  Big *sigh*.  It also meant that I missed my next "activity" and because of the rain storm coming through, it just wasn't worth trying to get across the campus.  It also meant that I stayed late trying to play catch up for the time I lost.  This is why meetings need to be kept at a minimum!

Year 2, Day 42: 10/23/12 - "Intuition"

"Follow your heart

Your intuition

It will lead you in the right direction

Let go of your mind

Your intuition

It's easy to find

Just follow your heart..."

-"Intuition" by Jewel

Mid-After Noon Slump: I felt like I took another Benadryl today!  Right around 3:00 pm I started feeling sooo sleepy.  Then I realized that I was way too cold (as in, shivering violently despite the cardigan and the blanket on my lap).  I got up to go outside to warm up and wound up getting side-tracked by the desk.  I worked out there with the staff member for about an hour and wound up warming up nicely.  See, working the desk does have its advantages!

Prescriptions!!!! Why is it so hard to get a simple prescription filled these days?  I've been trying for 5 days to fill this one and when I got to CVS they had no record of the prescription.  Luckily they filled it for me on the spot, but still?  Why bother using the online system if it isn't going to work!

Time to Get My Ed.D.?  FIU has a program that includes either an Ed.D in Higher Education or one in Curriculum and Instruction.  I'm trying to decide which one will suit me best and come in handy for my future...whatever that may be!

Year 2, Day 41: 10/22/12 - "Dancing Days"

"Dancing days are here again
As the summer evenings grow...

...You know it's all right
I said it's all right
I guess it's all in my heart..."

-"Dancing Days" by The Stone Temple Pilots

Long Week Revisited: Sometimes when a week ends, you feel as if it was longer than normal, but you just can't figure out why it felt that way. Today I had to recap the entire week for someone who was out and realized just why it felt so long!  I couldn't believe how much had happened in those five days.  Some major things that had to be taken care of.  Some minor things that were just interesting to talk about. But overall, a very long (partially productive, partially wasteful) week.  Go figure.

And Now I Know: I won't go into too much detail here as I don't really think it needs too much rehashing, but I want to make sure I at least acknowledge this happening by telling a little story.  Imagine yourself in a situation where you are expected to be the leader of a group.  You have the power to make decision that impact others.  You also have the responsibility to make sure that things actually get done.  You find out (or realize) that one of your employees is purposely and systematically sabotaging another employee behind the other employees back.  It doesn't matter how you found out or how you know.  The point is that you know.  You now have a choice to make.  You can a) Ignore the situation and hope it works out. b) talk to the sabotaging employee and get the to stop. c) talk to the employee who is being sabotaged and give them a heads up, or d) support and by your continued agreement with the sabotaging employee, add to the destruction of the other employee.  Now, in my mind, only one of these answers is right, one could work depending on the situation, a third is wrong because you can't ignore things and hope they go away, and the 4th option is cruel.  Story over - I now know that I'm the victim of option d.  Though finding out hurt, it also cleared my mind to a level that I had not had in a while.  Does it make it right?  No.  Does it make it okay? No.  Will I get over it?  Eventually.  Was it fair? No, but life rarely is.  Will it impact me?  Yes, I'll watch my back better next time.

Year 2, Day 40: 10/21/12 - "Dissident"

"And to this day, she's glided on
Always home but so far away
Like a word misplaced
Nothing said, what a waste
When she had contact...with the conflict...
There was meaning, but she sold him to the state
She had to turn around
When she couldn't hold...she folded...
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path..."

-"Dissident" by Pearl Jam

Off Grid: I went off the grid a bit today.  No Facebook.  No e-mail.  No Internet surfing.  I turned my laptop on tonight so I could make this brief post and work a little bit on the book I'm hoping to finish by November.  I was saddened by the fact that I rely so much on my computer and Facebook for my entertainment.  It really showed me that I have no life.  Without my computer to distract me I managed to re-pot my plants (Eddie is dead and Edith has moved into his pot since she is thriving and needed more space), do a load of laundry, knit 16 rows of a baby blanket. Make my lunch and dinner for the week (including learning how to cut up a papaya), and buy my Halloween candy.  All of that should make me feel good since it looks like I was very productive, but all it really showed me is that I live a pretty empty life.  Nothing fun or exciting.  The next question is what I can or should do to change that.  Sorry if anyone has been waiting on me to respond to an e-mail or a Facebook post.  I'll jump back in tomorrow I guess.

Year 2, Day 39: 10/20/12

I Need to Stop Running: It's starting to feel like I've managed to tear my meniscus in my right knee again.  The pain isn't exactly the same as it was when I had to have surgery, but it's the same area of my knee and I'm starting to see swelling after I go for long runs.  I'm just not sure what I'm going to do for exercise that my body can withstand.  I also don't know if I can afford to join a gym right now, especially considering that I usually exercise in the mornings and there is no gym near my house.  I can't afford the gym on campus either - thought that would be the easiest option if I wanted to exercise after work.  Of course, if I change my workout time, I'll have to change my work times so that I don't end up not getting home until super late.  Feeling as if I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I wish I could just stop exercising all together, but I'm already back over 200 lbs and I don't want that to be the norm.  I worked too hard to lose weight to allow it to creep up on me like this. 

Year 2, Day 38: 10/19/12 - "No One Is to Blame"

"You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it
You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
Some break the rules, and live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost...
...No one, no one, no one ever is to blame"

-"No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones

Sometimes I Hate Doctors  And not just because they tend to take my blood, or make me wait longer than anyone should have to, or because they tend to ask you really uncomfortable questions and then poke and prod you.  No, that's almost bearable.  What I really hate is when one of them patronizes you or treats you like you're an idiot when all you've done is tell them what they asked.  Today I had a doctor say to me "something's not ringing true here" after I told him what my symptoms were and weren't.  In other words, "you're lying."  I was not amused.  I continued to talk to him, told him my medical history, my family history, etc., etc., ad nauseum. He finally started listening to me and suggested that I see a specialist (I actually agree with im).  He also gave me an expensive prescription that my prescription plan is refusing to cover (for now, I'm not paying for it until someone tells me what the hell is going on with Medco).  Oh well, same old same old for me and my odd symptoms.  I even told the doctor that both of my previous surgeries were preceded by symptoms that didn't match the final diagnosis (he disputed this as well, said I must have been wrong).  He's lucky I didn't throw something at him.

And Now For the Kicker  So I got my $3,000 reimbursement for my moving expenses today, all $2,091 of it.  What, you say?  That's not $3,000?  $2,091 doesn't equal $3,000? This isn't some strange exchange rate issue?  Oh well, according to FIU, since the reimbursement is taxable, they add it to your paycheck and then tax it fully - so Uncle Sam took almost $900 of my reimbursement money that I now have to come out of pocket to pay for since I was holding off on a couple of bills until I got that money.  So, when FIU says that they offer $3,000 in moving expenses, it's bull shit.  They don't offer $3,000 because Uncle Sam takes his piece.  Want to know the really shitty part?  If I had gone with one of their over-priced moving companies, they would have paid them directly, which means that it would have been the full $3,000 (all of them quoted me over $3,000 to move me, which is why I declined and moved myself...thinking I would get at least $3,000 of the money I spent back).  I know that I eventually would have had to pay taxes on that money, but I can guarantee that if they had added 3,000 to my final amount that I report to the IRS next year, I would not have been writing a check to Uncle Sam for over $900.  How do I know this?  Because UTSA reimbursed me for all of my moving expenses (well over $5,000) and when I did my taxes, the only reason I had to pay was because of the trip to Paris that I won (which was over $12,000), and even then I paid a total of $1300.  So, I added 17,000 of untaxed money to my overall income and payed $1300.  FIU puts $3,000 into my  paycheck for Uncle Sam to tax directly and they take over $900.  So....not...fair.  I'm adding this to my "if I had known" list.  You know, the one that says, if someone had bothered to tell me this shit, I would have kept my stupid ass where it was.  But of course, hindsight, rear view mirrors, etc., etc.  I'll get off of my soap box now...but beware - this is a question that you have to ask.  I never knew to ask because of my four employers, this is the first one who has done this.  The FIRST one.   

And Now, The Full First Chapter of Four Crossings. I had two requests for "more" from the excerpt I posted of my book, so I'm going to post the entire first chapter.  Beware, for those reading, this book is not PG - I'd call it R rated just to be on the safe side, though I don't think it gets that bad.  This ain't juvie lit!

Chapter 1

Desdemona Quinn’s bottom lip was split, there was a small cut dripping blood over her left eye, and she was pretty damn sure that she had a few bruised ribs.  But she was winning.

            She stood there in the middle of the encaged ring and slowly stalked the man trying to fight his way back to his feet.  She had long ago blocked out the raucous cheering of the watching crowd.  They weren’t her concern.  But now that victory was imminent, she allowed much of the noise to seep back in.

            She glanced to her right and caught sight of a small girl, her face heavily bruised, her eyes full of some indefinable emotion.  Then she caught the eye of the woman standing guard over the girl, identical emerald green eyes sharing a silent moment.  Then the other woman spoke.

            “Finish it, Des.”

            Des couldn’t hear her, but she could read her lips.  She nodded, took two steps and with a deceptively smooth motion, slammed her heavy, steel-toed boot into the back of the man’s head.  He went down with a thud and stayed there.

            Des stood over him for a long moment before she turned and left the ring.  She walked with her head held high, her back straight despite the pain shooting through her ribs.  The cage door was opened and she ducked through and out into the crowd which parted easily for her exit.

            She went to the other woman and knelt in front of the young girl.

            “You’re safe now, little one.  He won’t hurt you again.”

            The girl’s large brown eyes filled with tears and she launched herself into Des’s arms.  Des fought back a flinch at the pain the impetuous embrace caused, but it was a hurt she would gladly bear.  She returned the girl’s hug and then easily set her away from her.

            “Esme is going to take you to the main transfer station.  You should be back home in no time.”

            The girl’s eyes widened in surprise, “I get to go home?”

            Des smiled at her, “Yeah, little one.  Four Crossings is no place for you. And your family misses you very much.”

            The girl’s eyes widened further and she began to tremble slightly.  “I d-didn’t think they’d want me back.”

            Des felt a sadness fill her but she did not betray the emotion to the girl.  She knew all too well what it felt like to not be wanted.  She shook her head at the girl, “They want you back very much. So much so that they offered a reward for your return.”

            The girl couldn’t hide her surprise or her growing happiness.  Des had stretched the truth slightly, but the girl didn’t need to know that.  She stood and moved away from the girl, sharing another look with the other woman.

            “It’s time.”

            Esme nodded and guided the girl away.  Des watched them disappear into the waning crowd before she turned to head the other way towards the back exit.

            No one approached or bothered her as she moved away from the hustle and noise.  They all knew who she was and what she was capable of.  The people of Four Crossings were many things, including greedy and murderous, but they weren’t stupid.

            Everyone knew that messing with Desdemona Quinn ranked right up there with messing with the devil.  Many people even believed her to be the devil.

            Des stepped through the back door of Club Moan and quietly made her way up the stairs to her office located on the second floor.  She could both feel and hear the pulsing of the music currently pumping through the club. 

It was Saturday so the club was overly packed, not that anyone visiting or living in Four Crossings needed to wait until Saturday to go out.  Club Moan was always packed, something that Des took much pride in.  Keeping an establishment not only open, but prosperous in Four Crossings usually required shady dealings and a lot of back door business.  But Club Moan was free and clear of all of that.

Des smiled as she strolled into her office, not flipping on any lights since she knew the layout like the back of her hand.  She shrugged out of her jacket tossing it onto a chair in front of her desk, then sat behind the desk, putting her booted feet up with a heavy thud..

“Why the visit, Arguletti?  Isn’t it a little late for an unannounced house call?”

            A tall form slid out of the shadowy corner of the room and took a step into a small patch of light created by the moon’s glow.

            “It’s nice to see you too, Desdemona.”

            Des’s mouth quirked up in a small smile.  If he thought calling her by her given name was going to get a rise out of her, then he really hadn’t learned anything in the five years they had been dealing with each other.

            “I don’t have time for your shit tonight, Arguletti.  I’ve got paperwork to finish and taxes to pay. So say what you came to say, then get the fuck out.”

            Tyron Arguletti quirked an eyebrow at the woman sitting so casually behind the large wooden desk.  One of these days he was going to pop her in the mouth for her rudeness.  Right after he kissed, and licked and bit those pretty lips first.

            She rolled her eyes at him as if she could read his thoughts and dropped her feet from the desk.  “So, it’s going to be one of those nights, huh?”  She waved a hand towards the chair she had thrown her jacket into.  “Might as well have a seat then.”

            He sauntered over to the chair and eased his lithe form into the tattered but comfortable seat.  He really was a good looking man, Des could admit.  With his chiseled features, piercing blue eyes, and muscled physique, he was most women’s idea of the perfect man.  But Des knew that beneath the veneer, beneath the tailored suit he wore and the easy smile, existed something akin to evil.

            What Des did, she did to survive and for the betterment of others.  Everything Tyron Arguletti did was for the sole benefit of himself, and to hell with anyone who might get hurt in the process.

            They simply sat there and stared at each other for long minutes.  Des had no intention of breaking the silence.  He had come to visit her, not the other way around.

            Realizing that she was content to sit in silence, he finally decided to speak.

            “Nice fight tonight.”

            Des snorted, “Yeah, it was a real showstopper.  Glad you enjoyed it.”

            Arguletti smiled at her.  “I always enjoy watching you fight, Desdemona.”

            Des narrowed her eyes at him.  “I’m sure you do.  So, what was your favorite part?  When he managed to split my lip or the elbow that cut my eye?”
            She saw his eyes sparkle and had to resist the urge to pull her gun out and shoot him right where he sat.  Of course, that would have led to more trouble than she needed right then, no matter how satisfying it would have been.

            He licked his lips as if he were savoring the memory, or licking the blood from her lower lip where she still had not cleaned it away.  “Both were…exhilarating, shall we say.  But I think I would have liked it better if he had been able to use the knife he had hidden in his boot.”

            Des simply smiled.  “He’s lucky I didn’t use his own knife to slit his throat.  But,” she shrugged, “the rules said no weapons.”

            “And you don’t cheat.”

            It was a statement but Des answered it anyway, “No, I don’t cheat.”  And they returned to their staring impasse.

            Des’s head hurt, her ribs were throbbing, and she really did have paperwork to do, but she refused to give in to this man who had invaded her office.

            Finally he sighed and sat forward slightly in the chair.  “Okay, here’s the deal.  There’s a shipment of medicine coming in tomorrow night at the main transfer station.”

            He waited for her to respond and frowned when she didn’t react to his opening salvo.  “It’s a legit shipment but our intel tells us that there’s something extra stashed in the load.  We need you to remove that something extra before the shipment arrives.”

            Des’s eyes glittered as she realized where this discussion was going.

            “You want me to do your dirty work for you so that you can claim complete innocence?”

            Arguletti sat back in the chair and steepled his fingers together under his chin.  “Let’s just say that this something ‘extra’ would be a danger to both of us and that it would be to both of our advantages if it weren’t allowed to enter Four Crossings.”

            “Not good enough, Arguletti.  I don’t go into anything blindly, especially not something that’s going to benefit you.  What is this something ‘extra’?”

            Arguletti looked like he was going to withhold the information but finally he sighed and shifted in the seat uncomfortably.

            “It’s a weapon.”

            Des’s eyes sharpened and she felt her heart rate kick up a notch.  A weapon that Arguletti wanted was definitely something of interest to her.  If he was scared enough of it to risk her having possession of it, then it was even more interesting to her.

            Then she realized something else.  “If you’re asking me to go get this weapon, then you must be pretty damn sure I won’t be able to use it.”

            Arguletti’s lips curled in a slow smile, “Now, Desdemona.  You know I would trust you with anything.  You’re honest to a fault and if pay good money, you’ll do a job correctly and fully.”

            She nodded her agreement with his statement but then added, “But I haven’t agreed to do your job, Arguletti.  What’s to stop me from going to get this weapon on my own?”

            Arguletti rose from the chair and tossed a small yellow envelope onto the table.

            “Because, my beautiful Desdemona, without the information in that envelope, you won’t be able to breach the security on the transporter. And if you accept that envelope, you accept the job.”

            Des looked at the envelope and then at Arguletti where he stood before her desk.  “What happens if this weapon makes it to Four Crossings on the transport?”

            Arguletti frowned as if surprised by the question but he answered her anyway.

          “If my superiors get the weapon, then Four Crossings will become a military state.  Everything that you own,” he gestured around the room, “will be taken away from you.”  He caught her eyes, “You won’t be able to do your good deeds anymore.”

            Des matched his stare then reached out and put her hand over the envelope without looking at it.

            “Delivered or destroyed?”

            Arguletti seemed to relax and the smile that touched his lips seemed more genuine.

            “Either.” He gestured to the envelope.  “Instructions are included.  I’ll see you in two days.”

            He didn’t wait for her response, turning and sliding out of the office without a backward glance.

            Des sat in silence for long moments, not moving, barely breathing, as she tried to quell the feeling that taking this job was a bad idea.

            Esmerelda Quinn stood leaning against the wall of her sister’s office staring at her older sister with a look of surprise on her face.

            “Did that blow to your eye knock your brains out too?”

            Des sat with her elbows on the desk, massaging her temples as she stared at the instructions for the job she had accepted.  Esme had returned from dropping the young girl at the transfer station to find Des mad enough to punch a hole in the wall.  Now she stood in the corner and tried to find a way to help her sister reason through the dilemma she had gotten them in to.

            Esme pushed off of the wall and approached the desk where she leaned one hip on the corner and crossed her arms over her chest.

            “How much will you get upon delivery?”

            Des didn’t stop her massaging motion, “Twenty grand, ten if I have to destroy it.”

            Esme whistled, “That’s a nice chunk either way.  Still don’t know if it’s worth it though.”

            Des opened her eyes and glared at her sister.  “We can’t let the government have this weapon.”

            Esme rolled her eyes, “I don’t disagree with that, but you don’t have enough information to go on.  Just because we know where the weapon will be and how to get to it, doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to destroy it.”

            Des didn’t respond, she knew her sister was right.  And then Esme spoke aloud the other fear that Des had been trying to ignore.

            “And what happens if you can’t destroy it and you have to deliver it to Arguletti?  What’s to stop him from using it for his own hostile take over?”

            Des glared at her sister but still could not argue the logic.  She knew Esme was right and she didn’t want to think about the ramifications of that.

            Then Des looked at her sister and spoke aloud the other possibility that had been running through her mind.

            “What if we can use it, Esme?  What if it gives us the leverage we need to really clean up Four Crossings?”

            Esme arched a brow at her sister, “Don’t you mean ‘control’ Four Crossings?”

            Des scowled and stood up to face her sister.  “You know we wouldn’t abuse the power.  Four Crossings is our home and between the government and the likes of Arguletti, we’re always wondering when we’re going to be pushed out.”  She turned and started to pace around the room.

            “Where would we go, Esme?  What else is out there for us?  At least Four Crossings is home and this weapon might actually make it the kind of place we want to live in.”

            Esme felt a twinge of sadness at the pain she heard in her sister’s voice.  She was all the family that Des had left and even though Four Crossings wasn’t the ideal place to live, it was all they knew.  They had worked together to make it as safe as possible but with their limited resources, and the effort it took to stay out of the path of the government, it was a no-win battle.

            Esme sighed and picked the instructions up from the desk.  It seemed simple enough and nothing the two of them hadn’t handled before.  They could pull the job off without a hitch, but the real issue would come once they had the weapon.

            “To destroy, turn over, or keep.  That is the question.”

            Des walked over to her sister and tapped the instructions.  “You in?”

            Esme didn’t hesitate.  “All the way.”

            Des smiled for the first time since Arguletti had left her office.  “You want point?”

            Esme snorted, “Not a chance, Sis.  This one is all you.  I’ll take lookout.”

            Des nodded, “Then I’ll see you in six hours.  That give you enough time to get the gear?”

            Esme folded the instructions and slid them into the back pocket of her cargo pants.  “More than enough.  You planning on getting some rest?”

            Des nodded.  “Yeah, I’ll try to pick up about four hours of sleep and something to eat.  Then I’ll check the van and get it ready for the trip.”

            Esme moved to the door and then paused and looked back at her sister.  She took in the cut that she still hadn’t treated and the bruise just starting to show up.  Despite the evidence of injuries, Esme knew that Des was strong, but she also noted the weary line of her shoulders, and the lines of strain around her eyes and mouth. 

            Her sister was pushing herself to her limits and it was only a matter of time before she broke.  Esme just hoped this job wasn’t the one that broke her.

            “I love you, Sis.”

            Des looked up with a startled expression and then she smiled softly.  “I know, Esme.  I love you too.”

            Esme strode quickly out of the office before she let her emotions get the best of her.  She had a lot to do and unlike Des she wasn’t going to get the time to catch a nap before they had to be ready to go.  She headed off in the direction of the club.  She was going to need a drink before she took on her list of chores.