Day 321: 7/28/12 - "I'm So Tired"

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink I wonder, should I get up and fix myself a drink? No no no
I'm so tired, I don't know what to do..."

-"I'm So Tired" by The Beatles

I'm Tired..And frustrated, and angry, and really starting to second guess myself.  What have I done?

Day 320: 7/27/12

...This is me too mad to pick a song!!!!!

Epic Fail! I sat in my hotel doing work this morning expecting my apartment locator to give me a call around mid day to say what she had been able to find and set up for me.  And I waited....and waited...and waited...until around 3:00 pm when I had finally had it and decided to check online for some apartment complexes.  I sent out some inquiries but due to the lateness of the day I was unable to set up anything.  I hit the road to see if I could at least see some things and wound up stuck in traffic...again.  And my apartment locator NEVER CALLED ME!  I'm done with her and done with using a service.  I'll figure this out on my own and likely find something that I like better anyway.  I find the lack of contact, even a basic "I couldn't find anything yet," to be completely unprofessional.  It also cost me yet another day.  Messing around with her has cost me 3 days of my house hunting trip, and now that it is the weekend, the odds of my finding anything before I leave on Tuesday are almost nil!  I'm so screwed!  And I'm angry!  And this is not the right way to start out my move to a new city!!!!!!!!

Day 319: 7/26/12 - "Firestarter"

"I'm a firestarter, terrific firestarter.
You're the firestarter, twisted firestarter..."

-"Firestarter" by Prodigy

Absolute Failure!  Today was an absolute failure in the apartment hunting realm.  Here is what I endured and why I'm now feeling a little bit worried about how this trip is going to turn out.

1. Met the apartment locator at her place (made it on time despite the traffic) and drove over to the first place.  This was a high-rise condo that was on the 4th floor and the first issue we had was that we couldn't even get in and had to try to call someone.  Then we got lucky and someone let us into the place.  The hallways were tight and the entire place smelled funny.  The hallways were also not air conditioned so it was stifling!  We get to the apartment and they gave her the wrong code for the key box.  After two phone calls and two texts we get the right one and go in.  the kitchen was small, the living room was even smaller, there was no dining room, and the ceilings were low.  Needless to say, no way was I staying there! 

2. The second place was actually a complex so I wasn't sure why I needed a locator, but they were nice enough there, had a fitness center and had a place on the top floor.  The only real issue?  They were asking for $125 more than I'm budgeted for (and this was after I told the locator this to begin with!).  I am worried that I won't be able to come up with the extra funds, and also, what happens when my lease is up and they raise the rent?  That's what always seems to happen and I know I couldn't afford that.  *sigh*.  Nightmare!

There was nothing else for her to show me so we decided that I should consider Homestead, which is about 20 miles or so south of Miami.  I thought it would be a good idea to drive from the University to Homestead during the evening traffic as if I were actually going home from work.  I didn't even make it halfway there!  The traffic was so bad that it took me nearly 30 minutes to go 5 miles.  I had to let her know that Homestead was out of the question.

I decided to stop at a mall where I could do some retail therapy, and found a lovely white dress - I'll try to post a picture later.  Then I headed back to the hotel...which took nearly an hour!  I'm not liking Miami right now!

Day 318: 7/25/12 - "The Art of Falling"

"...It's time for a change, It's time for a move,
And I know that it's frightening but it's also exciting
I'm taking a risk that I know is worth fighting
Its better
To make your mistakes than to live with out knowing
Its better to fall on your face then to stay on your feet
As long long long as you tried your best..."

-"The Art of Falling" by Greg Holden

"No Luck"  Today was a total bust, in my humble opinion.  By my first day in San Antonio I had already seen 3 places!  Here?  I've seen none!  Not one!  Nada!  Zilch!  I'm working with an apartment locator because it is so tough to navigate the market around here.  But I can honestly say that I'm concerned - I'm not sure if they are going to be able to truly help me.  Here is the rundown of what I did today.

6:30am - woke up after being in bed since around 8pm the night before...apparently all I have to do to get sleep is to go without for nearly 24 hours!

6:45am - went for a walk/run and came back drenched...yep, it's that humid here.

7:50am - breakfast

8:15am - hit the road for a 9am appointment - got stuck in traffic - missed appointment

9:15am - rescheduled appointment to 11:30am; called apartment locator - scheduled for 12:30pm

9:30am - drove around looking for a few things, like a drugstore for some lotion and free wifi.

10:45am - hit the FIU campus for the free wifi and for the meeting.

12:00pm - headed off to the apartment locator - got stuck in traffic

1:30pm - headed back to the hotel in Fort Lauderdale, completely exhausted and feeling defeated.

2:30pm - hit Subway for lunch/dinner sub

3:00pm - ate and then started working and catching up on e-mail...until after 7:00pm

8:35pm - realized I needed to print something - hit the Business Center

9:00pm - decided to have a snack

10:30pm - going to bed, early....again...

Day 317: 7/24/12 - "You Can Sleep While I Drive"

"Come on baby, lets get out of this town

I've got a full tank of gas, with the top rolled down..."

-"You Can Sleep While I Drive" by Melissa Etheridge

Building My List of Things I Should Never Do Again.   I have a short list of things that I know I should never do again, but I rarely add to it.  I tend to be a bit of a stick in the mud, and I don't do anything that others might consider to be a bit wild.  But I found something else to add to my list...staying up for 24 hours because of an early flight.  I apparently can't go without sleep anymore, at least not since my surgery.  My body was fighting me the whole way and I felt like crap from Midnight on.  I struggled on the drive to the airport too, as it was pitch black and not much traffic out - not conducive to keeping me awake.  By the time I made it to the airport I was sure I was going to pass out.  I was so tired that I fell asleep before the plane was even pushed back from the gate...hell, I don't even remember everyone getting on board!  I didn't wake up until an hour into the flight.  No sleep on the 2nd leg because it was too short and bumpy.  Oh well - guess I'm going to bed early (as in now, at 5:00 pm).  Yay!

Day 316: 7/23/12 - "TBD"

When You Don't Want to Go To Sleep!  Why is it that when I really, really want to go to sleep, I can't.  But tonight, because I want to just stay up (since I have to hit the road at 3:30am), I'm fighting sleep early?  Really?  This sucks!  Now I'm going to have to find a way to preoccupy myself.  First up?  Watching Gator Boys. Well, I am moving to Florida, aren't I? :-)

Tension Headache....Still There!  Can't shake this darn headache, and I know not sleeping is not going to help at all.  But I think I'm going to do some late night exercise to help alleviate some of the tension and get some good exercise as well.  Nothing too crazy, of course - just what I would normally do on a Tuesday morning.  Then I'm making pancakes (since I'll need food and there is nothing else to eat in the house, and I have blueberries calling my name!).  Better finish packing right now, though.  Gotta get everything into two bags.  No way I'm giving United any additional cash!

Day 315: 7/22/12 - "Promise of You"

"The promise of you, 

Sleeps in the air

The air that I breathe

And I know that its true,

Don't have to convince myself to believe..."

-"Promise of You" by Edwin McCain

Tension Headaches:  I had one all day...because I'm stressing about my move.  I think I know that I'm not going to be able to get a mover to move my stuff...I'm going to have to do it myself.  But oh well, you have to deal and sacrifice, sometimes.  This will be my sacrifice.  I'm just going to have to pack strategically, get rid of anything I no longer need, and call in reinforcements....that being my dad, if he is available.  If he's not available, then I'll have to figure out something else.  Wonder if I have any friends interested in a road trip in a large moving truck?

Day 314: 7/21/12 - "TBD"

Working Out: Since I knew I was playing tennis later in the day, I decided to do a modified workout at the fitness center.  This meant weights and some light running.  But instead of the light running I decided to challenge myself and run a 10 minute mile.  Now, I know that for real runners, that's nothing at all, and 10 minute miles are seen as slow.  But I haven't been able to run a 10 minute mile in nearly two years - not since I moved to San Antonio, and definitely not since my two surgeries.  Please note that I did this inside on a treadmill, as the San Antonio heat is nothing to play with.  The good news is....that I did it!  And I didn't collapse afterwards.  I, of course, got my butt kicked playing tennis afterwards and was likely a little overheated but at least I did it, and I didn't play too badly.

Day 313: 7/20/12 - "Time is Love"

"Time is love

Gotta run

I loved to hang longer

But I've got someone who waits

Waits for me..."

-"Time is Love" by Josh Turner 

It's Good to Get Out: A bunch of us went out to each lunch today, which was new for me since I've only gone out to each lunch around 6 or 7 times since I moved to San Antonio.  We went to a place called Malabar (though the door said Taste of India) and they have a really nice $5.99 deal that gets you a taste of three things and some naan and some pudding (though I didn't eat the pudding).  I had the zucchini masala, the chicken curry, and the chicken tikka masala.  The only bad thing about the place was that they had a very limited menu.  The menu given to us was only one sided and about 3/4 size of a sheet of paper.  Only the items underlined in blue were available for order.  Luckily I found 3 things I wanted to try, but I was hoping for a little more variety and hated the fact that there were items on the menu that you could not order.  But I guess that is a more cost effective way for a smaller business to keep their heads above water if they don't have to try to make every dish, every day.  Would I go back?  Sure!  Especially if I could find out when they would rotate to some of the other dishes.  I'm also glad I didn't look at their online menu before we went - I would have been sorely disappointed!

Tired But Not Sleeping: It's becoming a trend for me as I get up early and then go to bed late and get sleepy in the middle of the day.  Not conducive to being productive, that much is for sure!

Day 312: 7/19/12 -"Small Wonders"

"Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder

Don't you know the hardest part is over?...

Our lives are made in these small hours

These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate

Time falls away but these small hours

These small hours still remain..."

-"Small Wonders" by Rob Thomas

I'm Sooooo Tired!  Today was such a drag, energy-wise.  I was drooping like an unwatered flower by the time lunch rolled around, and even then I didn't think I was going to make it!  One of my colleagues suggested we walk and talk rather than sitting in my office and that perked me up (due to the heat).  But by the time we were done, I was still ready for a long nap!  I haven't been this tired since I first started getting sick last year and I know my thyroid numbers are fine (just tested last week).  Could just be the heat and all of the things I'm working on.  Could be that I'm just finally sapped of all of my good energy.  Who knows!  I just think I'm going to sleep well tonight!

Day 311: 7/18/12 - "Missouri"

"You came here in search of something true

Looks like, girl, your search isn't through..."

-"Missouri" by David Nail

Oh, Verizon, At Least You Didn't Piss Me Off Tonight (At Least Not Too Much).  I hate it when I get a bill online that I know should be a certain amount but when I open the e-mail, I see that it is higher than expected.  This always starts me on a quest to figure out what changed and to see if I need to dispute anything.  This time Verizon was wrong (they did not apply one of my discounts), and though I explained to the phone agent what the problem was, he still went through the long process of trying to "figure out" what I was talking about.  After five minutes I again pointed out to him what the issue was and he was like, "Oh, I see what you mean.  Let me fix that."  If he had listened to me right away, I would have been off of the phone a lot faster!  But at least they fixed the problem which was the biggest issue for me.

Not So Fast, Medco.  If it wasn't Verizon, it was Medco and HEB.  So here's the saga of the 90 day prescription.  I asked my doctor if I could move to a 90 day prescription since my medicine and health were stable.  He said, "Sure!  I'll write you a new prescription."  I drop off the prescription at HEB (my pharmacy) and then go back the next day to pick it up.  When I get there, I'm told the cost will be $10.  I'm happy - that's only $2 more than my 30 day supply!  But when I ask the pharmacy tech to confirm that it is a 90 day supply she says, "No, this is the 30 day."  I explain to her that my prescription was for 90 days so she goes off to check.  After a few minutes and a short discussion with the pharmacist, she comes back to tell me that my insurance won't allow a 90 day prescription.  At this point, I'm mad, but then I ask her why my prescription is now $10 then - why the change in price?  She can't explain it so I leave the prescription and go home to figure things out.  Today I figure out that I can only get a 90 day supply through Medco by mail.  If I go to a retail place, then I can only get a 30 day supply.  The wait time for the 90 day?  1 - 2 weeks!  the cost?  $20.  I call the HEB pharmacy because they never filled my 90 day prescription - they only did a refill since it was for the same medicine and I had refills left.  They said that if I used their discount program I could get my 90 day supply for $9.99 and the program only costs $5.  I was sold - now I have a program I won't be able to use once I move...but I have my 90 day supply!

Baking Blueberry Bombs!  Why do I call my blueberry muffins, bombs?  Because those wonderfully juicy berries tend to explode in the oven!  The muffins turned out great and because I made them with Splenda and applesauce, they are only 85 calories each!  Yum!  I had them with blueberry tea and it was marvelous!

Day 310: 7/17/12 - "Overjoyed"

"Over time, I've been building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason...

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you"

-"Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder

Break It To Me Quickly: Sometimes giving bad news is harder than it should be.  There is some bad news that is impossible.  We all know this.  But there is other bad news that can be given in a way that is not as negative as it is often made out to be by the directives of others.  Let me do it my way, please, and see where we get.  Nope, you want us to do it your way, piecemeal, and people are upset because they know they aren't getting the full story.  The "I don't care" attitude is creeping up on me and I'm having to fight it down.

On a Lighter...Hmmm...Well, Sort of Lighter Note: Here are the pics of the baked goods from last night and links to the recipes.

I made the Almond Fudge Topped Shortbread recipe from Eaglebrand.com, and the Creamy Chocolate Streusel Bar (which was my favorite!), also from Eaglebrand.com.  Both were a bit of a doozy to make (having to make the "crust" and then make the filling is always a challenge when balancing two different recipes at the same time.  I'll have to make some adjustments for the next time, mostly with the almond fudge topped one (didn't let my sugar melt enough!).  The Chocolate Streusel was a bit of a pain in the butt to make, but tasty, tasty, tasty!  They were a hit at work (as usual), and I'll likely consider making them again.

Day 309: 7/16/12 - "Half Moon Bay"

"You save my life with every word you say

You shine your light for me to find a way

Just hold me tight and cross your heart to stay..."

-"Half Moon Bay" by Train

The S*it Hitting the Fan...Again...It seems to never end around here!  Seriously, people, what are you thinking?  Oh, that's right - no thinking involved.  Oh well, we'll figure something out soon - though I'm sure that it won't happen before I'm gone.  Trying to fight these "I don't give a f*ck" feelings that keep going through me on a daily basis.  I'm better than that...aren't I?

Bars..Something New!  I was supposed to make fudge tonight but ran into a problem...not enough sugar in the house!  So I settled for making two different bar cookies.  They are cooking in the fridge so no pics tonight, but I'll post pics tomorrow.  I'm a little concerned about one of them - I got carried away with the vanilla at the end.  The only good news is that the recipe called for almond extract which is much stronger - if I had goofed with that, I likely would have ruined the entire batch!

Day 308: 7/15/12 - "Undiscovered"

"You see the look that's on my face
You might think I'm out of place
I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered"

- "James Morrison"

Too Hot!  I got up this morning and went to the fitness center since I had missed yesterday - I got my 5K in pretty easily and headed back home.  I later went out to get my paper - and man was it entirely too hot to be at the store!  I felt as if I was being fried alive as I waited to cross the street (funny how lights seem to hold longer when you don't want them too!).  I was walking, by the way, so this wasn't just one of those times when the car is hot.  It was boiling!  The way back was just as tough since I was carrying my groceries and my purse.  I was so drained when I got back I actually drank two glasses of water (those who know me, know I hate water!).  Mother Earth, we need some relief!

Day 307: 7/14/12 - "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone..."

-"Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson

Shopping!  Though money is tight, I was sorely in need of a few items, so today a couple of my friends joined me in hitting the outlet malls in San Marcos.  It was so hot that we mostly wanted to stay in the stores, but we had to move the car a couple of times because there are two distinct outlet locations in San Marcos.  Overall it was a good day - and I got some running shorts, running shoes, and a couple of shirts.  My friends found some clothing as well.

Overwhelmed: It's funny how even when things are going according to some sort of plan, you can still start to feel a little overwhelmed.  That's how I am feeling right now - there is so much going on, and though most things are working out - there are still a couple of pieces left to fall into place - if any of them fall through, there could be some tough times ahead!

Day 306: 7/13/12 - "Get The Party Started"

"I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
Get this party started"

-"Get the Party Started" by P!nk

Winning at Losing Tennis: I finally got to play tennis again and low and behold...I still suck!  But I actually played better - I missed fewer shots, executed some touch shots, and actually made my partner win points rather than just giving them away.  It's always a little disappointing to lose all the time, but I definite don't mind as long as I did my best.  It also gives me hope for the future as I know I can get better.  Once I get to Florida I might take up lessons so I can actually correct my backhand and forehand.  And maybe have someone teach me how to get a little more pop on my serve!

First & Only Time Out in San Antonio: My friend, DD, actually managed to get me out of the house to actually go to a club here in San Antonio.  Luckily another girl-friend came along and we made our way downtown to the Bonham Exchange.  Apparently the club is in an old hotel and actually looks pretty cool.  It's also considered by many to be a gay club but there are plenty of all types of people there, all mingling together. We were the last ones to get in without a cover charge (score!) and they had really cheap well drinks (and really watered down too).  My friends treated me to two drinks since I usually don't drink (but since I wasn't driving I actually drank them).  I had an amaretto sour and then another drink with amaretto and pineapple juice (yum).  We hit two of the dance floors - one in the hip hop room and the other in the dance music room.  We also saw some very interesting goings-on and saw some "odd" things as well.  Here is the list:

• Two guys in their underwear dancing on a high stage for cash (one in a g-string, the other in his short briefs).
• Two couples grinding in public (really could have done without seeing that).
• A young man with a Pikachu backpack.
• Two cowboys in the dance music room who lost their shirts part way through.
• The men's and women's dance offs in the hip hop room.  The emcee was a drag queen who was a little out there - but super funny.  I also discovered that the female dance off was all about ass-shaking and it was scary to see how many girls just didn't have any ass to shake!  Also, what happened to actually dancing?  Sadly, the girl who won wasn't the best dancer, she just shook her ass the best...according to the emcee and the crowd.  Another girl had a skirt on so short that the minute she started shaking, it pulled right up.
• A bachelorette party that featured super short and tight dresses, including a pregnant woman in three inch heels.
• A man in a long black coat and a top hat with silver streamers hanging from the back.
• A girl in yoga gear...I only point this out because really, you couldn't have just put on some jeans?  You wore your yoga capris and top?

I also discovered something very important...have your friends check the see-through quality of your shirt before you enter the building of strobing lights, so that you don't find out when a picture is taken that your bra is clearly visible through your shirt whenever the light hits you full on!  Don't believe me?  Check out the pic!

Day 305: 7/12/12 - "She Works Hard For the Money"

"She works hard for the money
So hard for it honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right"

-"She Works Hard For the Money" by Donna Summer

47 And Counting: That's how many days until my last day at UTSA.  It didn't seem so far away when I gave notice - as a matter of act, I felt as if it was sneaking up on me, but now I truly do feel as if it is far away.  I know that will change as soon as I go to find a place to live - that process always sucks a bit of life out of me, and takes soooooo long!  But it will hopefully be rewarding as well - I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get lucky and find something great at a great price...and not too far from work...Okay, I'm asking for too much.  I think I'll just hope that I can find something in my price range!

Day 304: 7/11/12 - "The Diary of Jane"

"Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be..."

-"The Diary of Jane"

Fruitless Struggles: Trying to get anything done these last couple of days has proven to be virtually impossible.  No matter how hard I try to buckle down, little mini-disasters start popping up and I have to run to put out a fire.  Of course, sitting through a couple of meetings where screaming was likely the best, if not most logical option, didn't help.  It certainly meant that more time was lost.  But I'll find balance soon!

Day 303: 7/10/11 - "The Apple"

"The apple in my hand I took a bite
How can it be so wrong when it feels so right
The apple in my hand with just a bite
It was over"

-"The Apple" by Carolina Story

Goodbye Meebo!  Okay, so there was one more day, but we still cut it close by just now switching to something else.  We went with Zoho and so far it looks like it will work, though I'm not sure how everyone else will do with it.  I've been playing with it for a couple of days now and it looks just like any chat service, if a bit more childish.  But we hope it is temporary as we try to move to something more permanent and sophisticated!

Antacids:  I used to chew Tums for my calcium but I stopped after a while.  Now I'm back, but mostly because of the heartburn I've been suffering.  I'm hoping that this ailment is temporary and has more to do with stress than any type of permanent issue.  What else could it be?  An ulcer?  Possibly, though I hate to think about that.  Could also be related to my new quickness to anger...like my urge to yell at the upstairs neighbors for stomping around so late at night!  But I'm controlling that one as best I can...though getting tougher as they knock things off of my walls!  I'm never living with anyone above me again - no chance!  I either live on the top or there is no one above me!

Day 302: 7/9/12 - "Chicken Fried"

"I thank God for my life

for the stars and stripes

may freedom forever fly

let it ring

salute the ones that died

the ones that gave their lives

so we don't have to sacrifice..."

-"Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band

Too Tired To Post: There are some days where you are just too tired to even think about posting, let alone get around to actually posting anything.  That was yesterday, so this post is a day late.  There was just too much going on and then I was back at it today (which I'll cover later).  No chance for me to get much rest after trying to find the best travel deal for my trip to Miami to find housing.  I'm still a bit worried about that since I know that I need to find a safe place to live that is not too far from work (I don't want to have to get up at 5:00 in the morning just to get to work by 9:00!).  We'll have to see - I'll be checking tomorrow night for some more possibilities and then checking with some locals to find something that works.  Wish me luck!

Day 301: 7/8/12 - "Hot In Herre"

"It's getting hot in here..."

-"Hot in Herre" by Nelly

Humidity at 100%  Today was one of those days where the humidity was so high that walking outside made you feel you had on a heavy wool blanket.  I'm so glad the weather was that way today rather than yesterday when I went for my run - I wouldn't have made it a mile, let alone nearly 6!

Off to Bed Early: I forgot that I'm opening the desk tomorrow since one of my staff members is extending her vacation.  I hate opening on Mondays but at least I'll get off at my normal time and can come home and start taking care of some business (I hope!).  Wish me luck - I've got 3 major projects to get done in less than 2 months time.  Think I can do it?  I hope so!

Day 300: 7/7/12 - "Back in the High Life Again"

"It used to seem to me

That my life ran on too fast

And I had to take it slowly

Just to make the good parts last

But when you're born to run

It's so hard to just slow down..."

-"Back in the High Life Again" by Steve Winwood

On the Road to Recovery: At least in terms of getting my runs back up to a respectable distance!  I did 5.7 miles in the 90+ heat of Texas and didn't pass out when I got done!  There was a decent breeze, though the sun was brutal!  I also didn't notice any muscle or leg pain afterwards, so I'm taking that as a sign that my knee is healthier and that I hydrated well.  I'll have to see if I can get a run in at least twice a week now, to keep up my strength.  I'll have to stick to treadmills during the week though - since I'll need to be able to stop when I need to and return home quickly to get ready for work.

What a Mess!  I know that now that I'm Miami bound, I need to start thinking about packing my things.  I noticed just how messy my apartment has gotten over the last week.  I'm partially blaming coming back so late from my trip and going right to work and having so much to do.  But I think I'm also just dreading the whole process of cleaning.  But i do know that I'm on a mission to recycle and reduce the size of stuff I need to take with me.  I want to streamline my possessions (including my books!) so that I can start fairly fresh.  We'll see how that goes!

Day 299: 7/6/12 - "Headstrong"

"...Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I’m out
See you later...
Well now that’s over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

Back off I’ll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong.."

-"Headstrong" by Trapt

Long Weekend Needed: There's so much to do!  I've got to arrange my trip to Miami and I'm going to need to make sure I get some estimates from the movers so that I'll know if I need to try to move myself instead of using a commercial company.  I know I'll be packing myself (which should be interesting!).  I'm going to do some serious cleaning as I go too, no chance some of this stuff is going with me!


New Phone: I got a new phone today, to replace my poor, abused, and beaten up Blackberry.  My HTC Rhyme is small and cute and hopefully more powerful.  The screen is definitely better, just hoping I can figure out how to use it soon!

Day 298: 7/5/12 - "Happy"

"Someone once told me that you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can't have everything

Don't you take chances

Might feel the pain

Don't you love in vain

Cause love won't set you free

I can't stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy

But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don't care about all the pain in front of me

Cause i'm just trying to be happy..."

One Step Down:  So my new adventure begins and there is so much to do!  But I felt so much lighter today than I have in months.  I'm even going to be okay in terms of the breaking of my lease - I thought it was going to be more expensive then it actually will be.  Now to plan a trip down to Miami to find a place to live and start working with the moving companies to find out what my cheapest option will be.  I'll have to do some balancing and wish for luck, but I think I'm going to make it.

Shopping Time!  Every time I move I always find things that I have to replace, though this time I suspect the biggest thing I'll have to replace is my wardrobe.  I need to light linens and airy cottons to get me through the humidity of Miami!  And I get to hide my peacoat for a while, guess it will only come out during midwinter conferences!

Day 297: 7/4/12 - "Something to Talk About"

"Let's give them somethin' to talk about

A little mystery to figure out..."

-"Something to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt

So Out of Shape!  I decided to go for a run outside today since it was a holiday and I could barely do 2 miles!  Not sure what is going on...maybe I'm just travel weary?  I was able to do 3.2 in California....but it wasn't as hot.  I feel as if I'm carrying around an extra twenty pounds or something and my ankles are both killing me!  Looks like my last shoe choice might not have been the best one.  I'll have to look into getting a new pair and soon!

Heartburn City...Again: I'm sure my heartburn is caused by my mental angst.  I don't like confrontation, though I deal with it well.  And tomorrow I'm likely to be knee deep in confrontation.  Part of me can't wait - the time has come.  The other part hates having to deal with this at all!  My goal is to keep my composure - that's the most important thing for me to do.  Others will likely lose there's but I cannot allow myself to do that.  I've been too quick to anger lately and I need to get that under control (even if it is warranted anger).

Fireworks...Still going off...for the past 15 minutes...it's like being back in Anaheim!  Oh, my head!

Day 296: 7/3/12 - "Healing Hands"

"...We're all bought and sold
For tobacco, firearms and alcohol...
...Can't afford to be on the back burner no more
Now I got a lot of places to go

Cause the actions of a few
Have put a world in harms way...

Never forget..."

-"Healing Hands" by Citizen Cope

Patience, Please: It drives me crazy when someone else's impatience causes problems for me and nearly causes a crisis.  I had everything under control and was working on completing what I needed to complete.  I didn't need you sending an e-mail demanding that I do something.  I know you meant well - but you need to step back for a minute and realize that its not all about you and that you need to give the rest of us time to work within our own limits (we have other things to do, you know!).

Heartburn: I'm so disgusted with the state of things right now that I just have general heartburn all day now.  It doesn't matter what I eat..or don't eat.  I just wake up with it and go to sleep with it.  I know its the acid in my stomach and my thinking about all of the things I need to do.  I just wish I could find a way to clear it up.  Hope it clears up by itself soon! 

Day 295: 7/2/12 - "Red Light"

"So this is how it ends

This is where it all goes down..."

-"Red Light" by David Nail

Surreality: Life has become surreal for me lately, starting with the loud upstairs neighbors!  I can't believe the amount of stomping and banging that goes on daily and it's not just "I'm walking" - they are shaking my walls!  If it doesn't stop soon, I'm going to have to go upstairs and ask them to at least try to stop, but they have kids so I'm pretty sure what I'm hearing is them...and parents who let their kids jump on the furniture and around the house this late at night, won't care about the downstairs neighbor who is trying to sleep!  Then there's the rest, which I can't even begin to describe.  I just know that I'm going to have to get more sleep if I'm going to be able to balance...and they need to stop stomping!

Day 294: 7/1/12 - "Back to Life"

"Back to life, back to reality

back to the here and now yeah..."

-"Back to Life" by Soul II Soul

Last Day in Paradise: I hated packing on Sunday as I prepared to leave my friend's house.  Yes, it was very much like being pulled back into reality and real life as I knew that Monday would bring issues and work, and issues.  But that is life at its best!

Travel Woes: Sometimes I hate traveling.  Here is what happened during my trek back to San Antonio.  First my friend dropped me off at the wrong terminal - completely my fault and United's as well, since they didn't tell me I was on United Express!  I was supposed to go to the Commuter Terminal but I completely forgot that I was going through LA.  So I got in, checked in and was told I was at the wrong terminal.  Luckily they have a bus that loops around, so I hopped on and then went through a very short security line in the very small commuter terminal.  There are only 4 gates there! Then, they call us in boarding order, only to have us cluster outside as the plane is prepared for boarding. Why in the hell did you even call us out there in any order if you were going to let us board that way?  Then horror of all horrors - it was a propeller plane!  It was so small I couldn't even stand up in it, and I almost didn't get my backs on (got lucky).  I napped through that one luckily and got to LAX with no issues.  Then over to the next gate to only a slightly bigger plane...and a delay.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 7:58 and didn't even board until 8:40.  We took off around 9:00 (I think) and finally arrived in San Antonio at 1:30am...yay me!  I then found my phone was dead but got lucky since the cabs were there waiting for those of us unlucky enough to be flying home overnight.  No more small planes for me though.  If I can help it, I will refuse to get on one again!