Day 161: 2/19/12 - "Keep Me In Mind"

"Keep me in mind
Somewhere down the road you might get lonely
Keep me in mind
And I pray someday that you will love me only"

-"Keep Me In Mind" by the Zac Brown Band

FYE Conference - Day 2: Today I ran into an issue I haven't experienced at a conference in a long time: full rooms!  There were only 3 sessions I was interested in during the 10:30 - 11:30 slot but all 3 were full to the brim.  There wasn't even standing room for any of them.  I wound up having to occupy my mind for the time and kept hoping the rooms would free up, but no such luck.  I'm heading in tomorrow for a 9am meeting and then some sessions.  Hopefully I'll learn something new - I picked up a couple of new things today (mostly during a vendor session).

Stress: My doctor told me that my heart palpitations were caused by stress.  Today they came back with a vengeance, so I had to stop what I was doing and try to figure out what was stressing me.  I won't put it all here - this is no the place, but I was able to narrow it down to three things, only two of which I have any control over.  I can only hope that I'll be able to find a solution to those two and the other one may work itself out.  Wishful thinking?  Probably, but I refuse to let the actions of others affect my health to this level.  The palpitations have stopped for now...but I have to be diligent about living a stress free life!

Day 67: 11/17/11 - "Man in the Box"

"I'm the dog who gets beat

Shove my nose in s*it

Won't you come and save me..."

-"Man in the Box" by Alice in Chairs

Vicarious Pride: Tonight I attend an awards dinner for students who wrote winning essays for their COR 1203 courses.  All instructors submitted their top two essays for consideration, so there were 102 essays submitted for review.  Out of this, there were only 3 winners.  One of the winners this year was my student!  I was so happy for him and very proud of him, but I think what made me the most proud was the way he received the honor.  You could see that he was humbled by it, as if he couldn't believe that he had won second place.  I know his parents are going to be ecstatic about his honor and I wish they could have been there.  I taped it as best I could from my digital camera and I'll make sure he has that to share with his parents.  I hope this launches him into even greater things!

None Done, So Many to Go: I've got so many things going on at once right now, and I'm not sure where to start, let alone sure how to finish!  I had to squeeze in a meeting tomorrow during my lunch hour since I didn't have any other open slots to work with.  I normally work through my lunch, but nothing too intense - it's usually when I clean up my e-mail.  Tomorrow I'll have to see if I can be productive and actually get something coherent put together during an hour long session where I have to try to eat at the same time.

What The ???  I've received two phone calls from staff members recently where I'm not sure why they needed my assistance.  I'm beginning to see that no matter how much training is provided, how much information is offered, there are some staff members who just won't be able to go that next step and extrapolate from previous experiences.  I was talking to my students about multiple-intelligences today and I think this is what I'm seeing as I work with my varied staff and, of course, the varied patrons!

And It Grows: I'm saddened but not surprised to see that more victims of the Sandusky scandal are coming forward.  All it takes is one person strong enough to weather the storm to provide shelter to others too scared to speak up previously.  Of course, now, it looks like Syracuse is going to get caught up in a similar scandal.  I wonder what the connection is to Penn State (in terms of the security that comes from having someone else step up and speak the truth).  Will this one also grow disproportionately based on the distance we get from the original announcement?  You can only hope that one day it will all. end.

Day 32: 10/13/11 - "Someone Like You"

"I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true."

-"Someone Like You" by Adele

Stress: Today we had a guest speaker from counseling services come speak to my class.  It was a bit surreal, because as she was speaking to the students, she might as well had been telling them about how I was feeling right then.  She asked them what happened when they got stressed and most of the "symptoms" were physical.  She eventually read off the list of all of the things that could happen and I could have been putting check marks next to every last bit of it.  Not that I didn't know I was stressed - don't get me wrong.  Unlike my students, some of who believe that they don't get stressed, I know what stress feels like.  I know what it is like to deal with both internal and external stress. And I know what it feels like when your internal stress begins to ruin your life (kind of like it is now).  Then she started talking about what they could do to combat their stress issues.  I knew the answers but I realized that I'm not doing any of them right now.  The real question is "why not?"  Taking time for myself, doing what I want to do, relaxing, exercising, etc.  All of these things can help.  Hell, even knitting and baking, my usual stand-by stress relievers, could have helped.  But I've hit the point where even these things don't appeal to me.  So what do you do when there is nothing you want to do?

Book Sale: One more day of picking up books and then the book sale can get going on Monday as planned.  I can honestly say that I'm not feeling guilty about not having the money to donate this year.  I've spent more time, energy and gas (not the mention the miles on my car) on this book sale that I think I've given in the only way I can.  Besides, I have issues with the idea of my place of employment pressuring me to donate money to worthy causes.  Who's to say that I'm not already doing that?  How do they know that I don't give money to different charities every month?  Why do they have the right to say that we are going to run this campaign in October and we want 100% participation?  They won't get 100% this year and I'll be one of the reasons for it.  Should I feel guilty?  Right now, I think I have a sliver of guilt left in me.  I'm sure it will be gone soon enough - my of my emotions seem to ebb and flow these days, why not guilt?

Schedules: Wednesday threw me completely off schedule, with my having to be downtown by 8am.  I didn't make it to the gym and then this morning I was so tired I could barely get out of bed.  I'm heading off to bed soon and have to get up at a normal time tomorrow - but I worry I won't have the energy or motivation to make it to the gym.  If I were seeing progress with weight loss I think it would be easier.  The other issue is the continuous pain I'm dealing with in my left hip and my left ankle.  I thought that the two days "off" would help but today I continued to limp around.  It might be time to reconsider the visit to the ankle specialist as soon as I can afford it.