Day 157: 2/15/12 - "The Day I Tried to Live"

"I woke the same as any other day

Except a voice was in my head

It said seize the day, pull the trigger

Drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads...

Words you say never seem

To live up to the ones inside your head

The lives we make never seem 

To ever get us anywhere but dead...

I woke the same as any other day you know

I should have stayed in bed...

And I learned that I was a liar

Just like you..."

"The Day I Tried to Live" by Soundgarden

My New Addiction: My friends know that I really don't have any addictions in my life.  I can give up things easily as needed and don't get very attached to many things.  Of course, technology may be a possible new addiction for me.  And now I have a Kindle Fire, so I'm likely going to wind up carrying it with me everywhere and using it in ways that I never imagined.  I can already see the benefits as compared to trying to use my phone to search for things.  The larger screen is very handy.  Now I just need to get a case so that I can protect it - no way I want anything happening to this baby!

Rough Day: Some days are just tough.  I woke up this morning angry and I didn't know why.  I felt like throwing things and stomping (which I didn't) and slamming doors (which I did).  It was completely out of character and also very frustrating, because if I'm going to be angry, I want to know why!  Luckily I didn't take my mood into work with me (not really, though some frustrating things happened there as well, and I did get angry about one of them, but I was able to keep it even keeled).  I can only hope that tomorrow is better...and try my best to make it that way.

Mardi Gras: I realized that on the same day as when I plan to make muffins for an event, it will be Fat Tuesday and I want to also make a King cake.  I think that I might be baked out this weekend, and I'll need to make the King cake on Sunday and the muffins on Monday night.  That should work...I hope...

Day 9: 9/20/11 - "Not Even the Trees"

"...You see I'm tired of feeling this pain
I'm tired of living my own little lie
And it makes me wonder
When I see you in my dreams
Does it mean anything
Are you trying to talk to me..."

- "Not Even the Trees" by Hooties & The Blowfish

Sad to Bed, Angry to Rise: I woke up angry again this morning. I can't make heads or tails of it. I keep thinking, "Did I dream about something that made me angry?" but all I remember is either a convoluted dream that just didn't make sense, or I don't remember my dream at all. But I still woke up angry, and not just "grumpy" as others have referred to me before, but all out, down right angry. As in, angry enough to kick something, angry enough to have a scowl on my face, and angry enough to get frustrated with the least little thing that does not go right. Case in point? I went to the fitness center, was bothered by a mosquito and in my efforts to swat him, I dropped my iPod. My normal reaction would have been to just sigh, pick up the iPod and get back on the elliptical. My reaction this morning? I went after the mosquito with a vengeance, gleefully smashed him, picked up my iPod and angrily got back on the elliptical for a pulse-pounding 15 minute workout...which I immediately castigated myself over because I only did 15 minutes. I wasn't going to win today, no matter what I did (or what others did). To put the cherry on top, when I got in to work, both of my 9 am desk staffers were out sick, so the prep time I had set aside for my class was gone since I had to open the desk.

Technology is a Bitch: A fickle, but alluring, bitch. Why do I say this? Because we find ourselves saddled with expensive pieces of equipment that either don't work right at all, or only work right occasionally, or require you to already know enormous amounts of information to use them...and then they break. I personally think that anything that cost $20,000 should work perfectly for at least a year before it is allowed to start acting up. And why do we put up with the crap that it delivers when we're the ones who paid for it? Random ranting done.

The Great Car Caper: I remember when I used to park my 1979 Mercury Cougar when I went to work and I would come out late at night and promptly forget where I parked my car. My first assumption, stupidly, was that someone had taken my car! Who in the hell would want a 1979 Mercury Cougar with shoddy brakes? I'm blaming youth for this. Today I parked my car in Lot 3 and when I left work, I walked to Lot 8. Needless to say, I didn't realize my error until I got to the lot and realized my car wasn't there, but not once did I think someone had stolen my 2009 Ford Focus...a much better car with lots of bells and whistles. I wonder why my assumptions have changed with age?