Year 2, Day 46: 10/27/12

Who Knew? Did you know that Luffa (loofahs) are grown and not made?  I'm honestly not sure where I thought they came from, but I will admit that I had no clue that you grew them...they are a plant!  I now have two of them - one still in its case.  I also now have some growing in a pot in my house - I'll have to see if I can nurture them along and allow them to actually grow into a full-sized plant!  See a picture here.

I Know Nothing About Wine: I had dinner at a colleague's house tonight and since they told me that they were going to make dessert too, I didn't know what to bring!  I lit upon the idea of bringing wine and confirmed with a couple of others that it was a good idea.  I then had to ask what type and brand to get!  I don't drink!!!  Luckily someone suggested Yellow Tail, which I recognized from my time in Texas.  It worked out nicely because my hosts like wine and had meant to get some but had forgotten, so I was able to provide and also feel like I contributed!

Year 2, Day 45: 10/26/12 - "Best of What's Around"

"See, you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
And so can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the Best of What's Around"

-"Best of What's Around" by Dave Matthews Band

Dave Barry Is Super Funny!  I got a late invite to the Richter Library (University of Miami) 50th Anniversary event with Dave Barry and UM President Shalala (love that last name!).  I knew of Dave Barry from his columns which I've read on occasion and found funny.  But I wasn't a Dave Barry "fan"...until now.  He is one funny dude!  The stories, his delivery of them, and President Shalala's style all worked well together.  And they gave us a free mug on the way out (and free goodies on the way in!).  All in all, a good night, worth coming home late for.  The library is gorgeous too!

Year 2, Day 44: 10/25/12

Clearer Vision: Today I attended a retirement party for one of the librarians at work (he has been here for 35 years).  The big surprise of the party was a belly dancer (we all thought they were joking).  The woman came out in her beautiful yellow outfit and the first thing I thought was "she's too big to be wearing so little!"  I immediately had to stop and think about that thought.  Where had it come from?  Who was I to judge?  I realized immediately that I had let societies views of beauty infiltrate my own brain and I was saddened by this.  I watched this woman who was not a size zero, dance around the room, engage with the audience, and smile throughout.  And what I realized was that she was beautiful, curvy, vivacious, energetic, and sexy.  All the things that I believe myself not to be.  I would never show up in public wearing what she had on - not because I'm too big to wear it, but because I lack the confidence in myself to wear it.  This woman didn't lack any confidence and she owned the room because of it.  Despite my best efforts I have let society infiltrate and plant negative thoughts in my head - my subconscious must have been holding on to those thoughts.  They came out today and I was severely disappointed in myself.  I can only hope to one day be as confident as that young woman was today.  Maybe then someone else will see something good in me.

Year 2, Day 43: 10/24/12 - "Every Storm (Runs Out Of Rain)"

"I know you're feeling like you just can't win, but you're trying
It's hard to keep on keepin' on, when you're being pushed around
Don't even know which way is up, just keep spinning down, 'round, down…

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain..."

- "Every Storm (Runs Out Of Rain)" by Gary Allen

Meetings Can Be Hell:  I had almost forgotten just how tedious meetings could be.  The one that was supposed to last for 1.5 hours today reminded for for a number of different reasons.  Reason 1: We ran way over time but some people just wanted to keep talking about things not on the agenda and not of immediate import.  Reason 2: Certain people can not stay on topic and just don't know how to shut up!  Reason 3: No one was bothering to bring anything back to a final decision or at least a final synopsis of what was discussed and what needed to be done.  This all means that nothing will be done and we'll be talking about the same things all over again.  Big *sigh*.  It also meant that I missed my next "activity" and because of the rain storm coming through, it just wasn't worth trying to get across the campus.  It also meant that I stayed late trying to play catch up for the time I lost.  This is why meetings need to be kept at a minimum!

Year 2, Day 42: 10/23/12 - "Intuition"

"Follow your heart

Your intuition

It will lead you in the right direction

Let go of your mind

Your intuition

It's easy to find

Just follow your heart..."

-"Intuition" by Jewel

Mid-After Noon Slump: I felt like I took another Benadryl today!  Right around 3:00 pm I started feeling sooo sleepy.  Then I realized that I was way too cold (as in, shivering violently despite the cardigan and the blanket on my lap).  I got up to go outside to warm up and wound up getting side-tracked by the desk.  I worked out there with the staff member for about an hour and wound up warming up nicely.  See, working the desk does have its advantages!

Prescriptions!!!! Why is it so hard to get a simple prescription filled these days?  I've been trying for 5 days to fill this one and when I got to CVS they had no record of the prescription.  Luckily they filled it for me on the spot, but still?  Why bother using the online system if it isn't going to work!

Time to Get My Ed.D.?  FIU has a program that includes either an Ed.D in Higher Education or one in Curriculum and Instruction.  I'm trying to decide which one will suit me best and come in handy for my future...whatever that may be!

Year 2, Day 41: 10/22/12 - "Dancing Days"

"Dancing days are here again
As the summer evenings grow...

...You know it's all right
I said it's all right
I guess it's all in my heart..."

-"Dancing Days" by The Stone Temple Pilots

Long Week Revisited: Sometimes when a week ends, you feel as if it was longer than normal, but you just can't figure out why it felt that way. Today I had to recap the entire week for someone who was out and realized just why it felt so long!  I couldn't believe how much had happened in those five days.  Some major things that had to be taken care of.  Some minor things that were just interesting to talk about. But overall, a very long (partially productive, partially wasteful) week.  Go figure.

And Now I Know: I won't go into too much detail here as I don't really think it needs too much rehashing, but I want to make sure I at least acknowledge this happening by telling a little story.  Imagine yourself in a situation where you are expected to be the leader of a group.  You have the power to make decision that impact others.  You also have the responsibility to make sure that things actually get done.  You find out (or realize) that one of your employees is purposely and systematically sabotaging another employee behind the other employees back.  It doesn't matter how you found out or how you know.  The point is that you know.  You now have a choice to make.  You can a) Ignore the situation and hope it works out. b) talk to the sabotaging employee and get the to stop. c) talk to the employee who is being sabotaged and give them a heads up, or d) support and by your continued agreement with the sabotaging employee, add to the destruction of the other employee.  Now, in my mind, only one of these answers is right, one could work depending on the situation, a third is wrong because you can't ignore things and hope they go away, and the 4th option is cruel.  Story over - I now know that I'm the victim of option d.  Though finding out hurt, it also cleared my mind to a level that I had not had in a while.  Does it make it right?  No.  Does it make it okay? No.  Will I get over it?  Eventually.  Was it fair? No, but life rarely is.  Will it impact me?  Yes, I'll watch my back better next time.

Year 2, Day 40: 10/21/12 - "Dissident"

"And to this day, she's glided on
Always home but so far away
Like a word misplaced
Nothing said, what a waste
When she had contact...with the conflict...
There was meaning, but she sold him to the state
She had to turn around
When she couldn't hold...she folded...
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path..."

-"Dissident" by Pearl Jam

Off Grid: I went off the grid a bit today.  No Facebook.  No e-mail.  No Internet surfing.  I turned my laptop on tonight so I could make this brief post and work a little bit on the book I'm hoping to finish by November.  I was saddened by the fact that I rely so much on my computer and Facebook for my entertainment.  It really showed me that I have no life.  Without my computer to distract me I managed to re-pot my plants (Eddie is dead and Edith has moved into his pot since she is thriving and needed more space), do a load of laundry, knit 16 rows of a baby blanket. Make my lunch and dinner for the week (including learning how to cut up a papaya), and buy my Halloween candy.  All of that should make me feel good since it looks like I was very productive, but all it really showed me is that I live a pretty empty life.  Nothing fun or exciting.  The next question is what I can or should do to change that.  Sorry if anyone has been waiting on me to respond to an e-mail or a Facebook post.  I'll jump back in tomorrow I guess.