Day 297: 7/4/12 - "Something to Talk About"

"Let's give them somethin' to talk about

A little mystery to figure out..."

-"Something to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt

So Out of Shape!  I decided to go for a run outside today since it was a holiday and I could barely do 2 miles!  Not sure what is going on...maybe I'm just travel weary?  I was able to do 3.2 in California....but it wasn't as hot.  I feel as if I'm carrying around an extra twenty pounds or something and my ankles are both killing me!  Looks like my last shoe choice might not have been the best one.  I'll have to look into getting a new pair and soon!

Heartburn City...Again: I'm sure my heartburn is caused by my mental angst.  I don't like confrontation, though I deal with it well.  And tomorrow I'm likely to be knee deep in confrontation.  Part of me can't wait - the time has come.  The other part hates having to deal with this at all!  My goal is to keep my composure - that's the most important thing for me to do.  Others will likely lose there's but I cannot allow myself to do that.  I've been too quick to anger lately and I need to get that under control (even if it is warranted anger).

Fireworks...Still going off...for the past 15 minutes...it's like being back in Anaheim!  Oh, my head!

Day 13: 9/24/11 - "Breakeven"

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in..."

- "Breakeven" by The Script

Failure: It's funny how some days I feel like an absolute failure no matter what I do. After working a 12 hour day yesterday, you'd think I would sleep well and wake up refreshed today. Instead, I slept for an hour, woke up startled, struggled to go back to sleep, woke up again coughing and feeling stuffed up, and finally rolled over at 9:30 - an hour later than I normally get up on Saturday. Then I hit the gym and couldn't even run my 5k like I planned to. I'm starting to feel that I'll never be able to run a 5k normally again - and this saddens me. I finished my work out and got back home but when I made my pancakes I didn't bother to smell the milk and poured it right into the mixture. Then noticed the rank smell that was now coming out of my food. I had to dump all of the milk down the drain, but luckily the sour milk smell baked out of the pancakes. The day only went downhill mood-wise from there when I realized that my Dad's birthday is on Monday and I forgot to buy and mail his card so that it would arrive on his birthday. Some daughter I am. The one thing I did accomplish today? I cleaned up the files on my laptop, because fro some dumb ass reason that was the only thing I wanted to do.

Panic - Anxiety - Same Difference? Are panic attacks and anxiety attacks the same thing? I'm trying to figure this out because I nearly had one today and I'm sure it would have been a full-blown anxiety attack. I've had similar things happen to me in the past and I usually struggle to get my heart rate and breathing back to normal. I wonder if one day I'll have to go to a doctor for these because I suspect they could become incapacitating if not controlled.

Oklahoma Wins Again: I didn't get any real joy out of the win as I usually do. I'm starting to lose my zealousness when it comes to my Sooners, which is sad. I liked being one of those nutty fans who lived and died with her team. Now I just shrug when they do something wrong and think, "oh well." What happened to that girl would you curse and cry and yell at the TV? I'm starting to miss her and wonder if I'm losing even more of myself than I first thought.