Day 312: 7/19/12 -"Small Wonders"

"Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder

Don't you know the hardest part is over?...

Our lives are made in these small hours

These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate

Time falls away but these small hours

These small hours still remain..."

-"Small Wonders" by Rob Thomas

I'm Sooooo Tired!  Today was such a drag, energy-wise.  I was drooping like an unwatered flower by the time lunch rolled around, and even then I didn't think I was going to make it!  One of my colleagues suggested we walk and talk rather than sitting in my office and that perked me up (due to the heat).  But by the time we were done, I was still ready for a long nap!  I haven't been this tired since I first started getting sick last year and I know my thyroid numbers are fine (just tested last week).  Could just be the heat and all of the things I'm working on.  Could be that I'm just finally sapped of all of my good energy.  Who knows!  I just think I'm going to sleep well tonight!

Day 311: 7/18/12 - "Missouri"

"You came here in search of something true

Looks like, girl, your search isn't through..."

-"Missouri" by David Nail

Oh, Verizon, At Least You Didn't Piss Me Off Tonight (At Least Not Too Much).  I hate it when I get a bill online that I know should be a certain amount but when I open the e-mail, I see that it is higher than expected.  This always starts me on a quest to figure out what changed and to see if I need to dispute anything.  This time Verizon was wrong (they did not apply one of my discounts), and though I explained to the phone agent what the problem was, he still went through the long process of trying to "figure out" what I was talking about.  After five minutes I again pointed out to him what the issue was and he was like, "Oh, I see what you mean.  Let me fix that."  If he had listened to me right away, I would have been off of the phone a lot faster!  But at least they fixed the problem which was the biggest issue for me.

Not So Fast, Medco.  If it wasn't Verizon, it was Medco and HEB.  So here's the saga of the 90 day prescription.  I asked my doctor if I could move to a 90 day prescription since my medicine and health were stable.  He said, "Sure!  I'll write you a new prescription."  I drop off the prescription at HEB (my pharmacy) and then go back the next day to pick it up.  When I get there, I'm told the cost will be $10.  I'm happy - that's only $2 more than my 30 day supply!  But when I ask the pharmacy tech to confirm that it is a 90 day supply she says, "No, this is the 30 day."  I explain to her that my prescription was for 90 days so she goes off to check.  After a few minutes and a short discussion with the pharmacist, she comes back to tell me that my insurance won't allow a 90 day prescription.  At this point, I'm mad, but then I ask her why my prescription is now $10 then - why the change in price?  She can't explain it so I leave the prescription and go home to figure things out.  Today I figure out that I can only get a 90 day supply through Medco by mail.  If I go to a retail place, then I can only get a 30 day supply.  The wait time for the 90 day?  1 - 2 weeks!  the cost?  $20.  I call the HEB pharmacy because they never filled my 90 day prescription - they only did a refill since it was for the same medicine and I had refills left.  They said that if I used their discount program I could get my 90 day supply for $9.99 and the program only costs $5.  I was sold - now I have a program I won't be able to use once I move...but I have my 90 day supply!

Baking Blueberry Bombs!  Why do I call my blueberry muffins, bombs?  Because those wonderfully juicy berries tend to explode in the oven!  The muffins turned out great and because I made them with Splenda and applesauce, they are only 85 calories each!  Yum!  I had them with blueberry tea and it was marvelous!

Day 310: 7/17/12 - "Overjoyed"

"Over time, I've been building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason...

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you"

-"Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder

Break It To Me Quickly: Sometimes giving bad news is harder than it should be.  There is some bad news that is impossible.  We all know this.  But there is other bad news that can be given in a way that is not as negative as it is often made out to be by the directives of others.  Let me do it my way, please, and see where we get.  Nope, you want us to do it your way, piecemeal, and people are upset because they know they aren't getting the full story.  The "I don't care" attitude is creeping up on me and I'm having to fight it down.

On a Lighter...Hmmm...Well, Sort of Lighter Note: Here are the pics of the baked goods from last night and links to the recipes.

I made the Almond Fudge Topped Shortbread recipe from Eaglebrand.com, and the Creamy Chocolate Streusel Bar (which was my favorite!), also from Eaglebrand.com.  Both were a bit of a doozy to make (having to make the "crust" and then make the filling is always a challenge when balancing two different recipes at the same time.  I'll have to make some adjustments for the next time, mostly with the almond fudge topped one (didn't let my sugar melt enough!).  The Chocolate Streusel was a bit of a pain in the butt to make, but tasty, tasty, tasty!  They were a hit at work (as usual), and I'll likely consider making them again.

Day 307: 7/14/12 - "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone..."

-"Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson

Shopping!  Though money is tight, I was sorely in need of a few items, so today a couple of my friends joined me in hitting the outlet malls in San Marcos.  It was so hot that we mostly wanted to stay in the stores, but we had to move the car a couple of times because there are two distinct outlet locations in San Marcos.  Overall it was a good day - and I got some running shorts, running shoes, and a couple of shirts.  My friends found some clothing as well.

Overwhelmed: It's funny how even when things are going according to some sort of plan, you can still start to feel a little overwhelmed.  That's how I am feeling right now - there is so much going on, and though most things are working out - there are still a couple of pieces left to fall into place - if any of them fall through, there could be some tough times ahead!

Day 302: 7/9/12 - "Chicken Fried"

"I thank God for my life

for the stars and stripes

may freedom forever fly

let it ring

salute the ones that died

the ones that gave their lives

so we don't have to sacrifice..."

-"Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band

Too Tired To Post: There are some days where you are just too tired to even think about posting, let alone get around to actually posting anything.  That was yesterday, so this post is a day late.  There was just too much going on and then I was back at it today (which I'll cover later).  No chance for me to get much rest after trying to find the best travel deal for my trip to Miami to find housing.  I'm still a bit worried about that since I know that I need to find a safe place to live that is not too far from work (I don't want to have to get up at 5:00 in the morning just to get to work by 9:00!).  We'll have to see - I'll be checking tomorrow night for some more possibilities and then checking with some locals to find something that works.  Wish me luck!

Day 301: 7/8/12 - "Hot In Herre"

"It's getting hot in here..."

-"Hot in Herre" by Nelly

Humidity at 100%  Today was one of those days where the humidity was so high that walking outside made you feel you had on a heavy wool blanket.  I'm so glad the weather was that way today rather than yesterday when I went for my run - I wouldn't have made it a mile, let alone nearly 6!

Off to Bed Early: I forgot that I'm opening the desk tomorrow since one of my staff members is extending her vacation.  I hate opening on Mondays but at least I'll get off at my normal time and can come home and start taking care of some business (I hope!).  Wish me luck - I've got 3 major projects to get done in less than 2 months time.  Think I can do it?  I hope so!

Day 300: 7/7/12 - "Back in the High Life Again"

"It used to seem to me

That my life ran on too fast

And I had to take it slowly

Just to make the good parts last

But when you're born to run

It's so hard to just slow down..."

-"Back in the High Life Again" by Steve Winwood

On the Road to Recovery: At least in terms of getting my runs back up to a respectable distance!  I did 5.7 miles in the 90+ heat of Texas and didn't pass out when I got done!  There was a decent breeze, though the sun was brutal!  I also didn't notice any muscle or leg pain afterwards, so I'm taking that as a sign that my knee is healthier and that I hydrated well.  I'll have to see if I can get a run in at least twice a week now, to keep up my strength.  I'll have to stick to treadmills during the week though - since I'll need to be able to stop when I need to and return home quickly to get ready for work.

What a Mess!  I know that now that I'm Miami bound, I need to start thinking about packing my things.  I noticed just how messy my apartment has gotten over the last week.  I'm partially blaming coming back so late from my trip and going right to work and having so much to do.  But I think I'm also just dreading the whole process of cleaning.  But i do know that I'm on a mission to recycle and reduce the size of stuff I need to take with me.  I want to streamline my possessions (including my books!) so that I can start fairly fresh.  We'll see how that goes!

Day 299: 7/6/12 - "Headstrong"

"...Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I’m out
See you later...
Well now that’s over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

Back off I’ll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong.."

-"Headstrong" by Trapt

Long Weekend Needed: There's so much to do!  I've got to arrange my trip to Miami and I'm going to need to make sure I get some estimates from the movers so that I'll know if I need to try to move myself instead of using a commercial company.  I know I'll be packing myself (which should be interesting!).  I'm going to do some serious cleaning as I go too, no chance some of this stuff is going with me!


New Phone: I got a new phone today, to replace my poor, abused, and beaten up Blackberry.  My HTC Rhyme is small and cute and hopefully more powerful.  The screen is definitely better, just hoping I can figure out how to use it soon!

Day 298: 7/5/12 - "Happy"

"Someone once told me that you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can't have everything

Don't you take chances

Might feel the pain

Don't you love in vain

Cause love won't set you free

I can't stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy

But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don't care about all the pain in front of me

Cause i'm just trying to be happy..."

One Step Down:  So my new adventure begins and there is so much to do!  But I felt so much lighter today than I have in months.  I'm even going to be okay in terms of the breaking of my lease - I thought it was going to be more expensive then it actually will be.  Now to plan a trip down to Miami to find a place to live and start working with the moving companies to find out what my cheapest option will be.  I'll have to do some balancing and wish for luck, but I think I'm going to make it.

Shopping Time!  Every time I move I always find things that I have to replace, though this time I suspect the biggest thing I'll have to replace is my wardrobe.  I need to light linens and airy cottons to get me through the humidity of Miami!  And I get to hide my peacoat for a while, guess it will only come out during midwinter conferences!

Day 297: 7/4/12 - "Something to Talk About"

"Let's give them somethin' to talk about

A little mystery to figure out..."

-"Something to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt

So Out of Shape!  I decided to go for a run outside today since it was a holiday and I could barely do 2 miles!  Not sure what is going on...maybe I'm just travel weary?  I was able to do 3.2 in California....but it wasn't as hot.  I feel as if I'm carrying around an extra twenty pounds or something and my ankles are both killing me!  Looks like my last shoe choice might not have been the best one.  I'll have to look into getting a new pair and soon!

Heartburn City...Again: I'm sure my heartburn is caused by my mental angst.  I don't like confrontation, though I deal with it well.  And tomorrow I'm likely to be knee deep in confrontation.  Part of me can't wait - the time has come.  The other part hates having to deal with this at all!  My goal is to keep my composure - that's the most important thing for me to do.  Others will likely lose there's but I cannot allow myself to do that.  I've been too quick to anger lately and I need to get that under control (even if it is warranted anger).

Fireworks...Still going off...for the past 15 minutes...it's like being back in Anaheim!  Oh, my head!

Day 296: 7/3/12 - "Healing Hands"

"...We're all bought and sold
For tobacco, firearms and alcohol...
...Can't afford to be on the back burner no more
Now I got a lot of places to go

Cause the actions of a few
Have put a world in harms way...

Never forget..."

-"Healing Hands" by Citizen Cope

Patience, Please: It drives me crazy when someone else's impatience causes problems for me and nearly causes a crisis.  I had everything under control and was working on completing what I needed to complete.  I didn't need you sending an e-mail demanding that I do something.  I know you meant well - but you need to step back for a minute and realize that its not all about you and that you need to give the rest of us time to work within our own limits (we have other things to do, you know!).

Heartburn: I'm so disgusted with the state of things right now that I just have general heartburn all day now.  It doesn't matter what I eat..or don't eat.  I just wake up with it and go to sleep with it.  I know its the acid in my stomach and my thinking about all of the things I need to do.  I just wish I could find a way to clear it up.  Hope it clears up by itself soon! 

Day 295: 7/2/12 - "Red Light"

"So this is how it ends

This is where it all goes down..."

-"Red Light" by David Nail

Surreality: Life has become surreal for me lately, starting with the loud upstairs neighbors!  I can't believe the amount of stomping and banging that goes on daily and it's not just "I'm walking" - they are shaking my walls!  If it doesn't stop soon, I'm going to have to go upstairs and ask them to at least try to stop, but they have kids so I'm pretty sure what I'm hearing is them...and parents who let their kids jump on the furniture and around the house this late at night, won't care about the downstairs neighbor who is trying to sleep!  Then there's the rest, which I can't even begin to describe.  I just know that I'm going to have to get more sleep if I'm going to be able to balance...and they need to stop stomping!

Day 277: 6/14/12 - "Keep Your Eyes Open"

"If you could soldier on
Headstrong into the storm...
Don’t look back
The road is long...

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open...
So show me your fire, show me your heart"

-"Keep Your Eye Open" by NeedToBreathe

Not Meant to Be: Sometimes things that you think are what you need and are meant to be, just aren't.  Sometimes its not your fault that these things don't work out, even if a part of you feels guilty because that's your personal make up.  My guilt level for this particular failure is nearly zero though, which is a new sensation for me.  Instead I'm battling a high level of anger - anger that someone else's actions and behaviors have caused me to make such a major change in my life.  But I refuse to give this person any more of me, and continuing to be angry would let her win.  I have only positive things to look forward to now, and look forward I will...

California Bound: Only a week to go until I hit Cali - I'm super excited because I'll get to spend time with some of my best friends, while enjoying the California sunshine and taking in Disney.  What could be better?  Well, of course there are likely things that could make it better, but I won't worry about that!  I'm just going to concentrate on having fun!

Day 274: 6/11/12 - "Everybody Bleeds The Same"

"If it's fear that you feel
The fear exists on a larger scale
Spin the world and stop it still
Anywhere you land, anyone you kill
You are gonna find that

Everybody bleeds the same after all
Everybody feels the same pain
And the preachers preach
And they write it all down like they know
But the secret is
Everybody bleeds the same..."

- "Everybody Bleeds The Same" by Ferras

Decisions, Decisions:  Some decisions are easier than others.  I know that when I chose to come here to San Antonio, I found it to be an easy decision.  I'm now faced with another big decision and this one is so far from easy that I can't even call it difficult...it might damn well be impossible.  No matter what I do I will have to give up something.  And I won't have any way of knowing which is the better decision (note, I don't say "right" decision) until after I make it.  And then there is no way to truly compare things anyway since I have to try to compare apples to oranges.  *sigh*  I need to sleep on it!

Cookie Experimentation:  Decided to tweak my cookie recipes tonight.  Didn't touch thr M&M one - it tends to be fine nut added a few different spices to the chocolate ones and decided to change up the oatmeal ones by throwing some almonds, white chocolate chips, and cranberries to it.  Yum!

Crazy Celebrations: Am I the only one who thinks that some sports have the most dangerous celebrations?  The piling on at the end of some games in some sports (baseball and basketball, namely) is downright stupid.  The person on the bottom could easily get seriously hurt!  And the jumping onto home plate in baseball?  Kenji Morales...enough said.  But nothing scares me more than hockey...when a team wins and everyone goes to mob one or two people...and they are all wearing skates...with blades...oh yeah, that's just not intelligent!

Day 273: 6/10/12 - "Once"

"Ooh, once upon a time I could control myself, yeah...
Once upon a time I could lose myself, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Once, upon a time I could love myself, yeah...
Once upon a time I could love you, yeah, yeah, yeah..."

- "Once" by Pearl Jam

Assumptions: In this day and age it drives me crazy that so many people assume so much about me based on the way I look.  I was at the grocery store this morning and this man decided to chat with me as I was leaving.  He wanted me to know that his niece was my height and had played college ball in Buffalo.  He then told me her name as if I would know her personally.  Then he commented that she had chosen not to go to the WNBA and instead and become a nurse (said in a way that told me he clearly didn't understand her decision).  I politely explained to him that I had never played ball, didn't know his niece and thought it was wonderful that she had become a nurse.  It hurts when even family members think that all you need to do, all you are good for when you are a tall black woman is playing basketball.  Open up your eyes, folks!  We have brains and most of us choose to use them - give us a little credit, please!

Good to See You!  I had dinner tonight down on the Riverwalk with some former colleagues from NC State.  It was good to see them all and to get a chance to actually get out of the house for two days in a row.  The Riverwalk was not overly crowded, which was good, but man was it warm down there.  I'm just not cut out for the heat!  I really need to think about moving somewhere that is mostly mild all year.  I would normally say cold, but I can't stand being too cold either!  We at at one of the Mexican restaurants down there and the food was okay - though sitting outside in the heat and trying to fend off the birds that were looking for food didn't make for the best atmosphere.

"

Day 270: 6/7/12 - "Follow Through"

"So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through..."

-"Follow Through" by Gavin Degraw

You'd Think I Would Learn...There are just people in this world who don't want to work and who will find any excuse not to do any work, even when their work is pretty basic and cushy compared to what others have to do.  If either of my parents could earn as much as some people do and only have to come to work in a library versus say, a chicken plant or a factory, I think they would jump at it!  If you are truly ill, then of course you shouldn't come to work.  If you just don't feel well but otherwise you are fine - you should come to work!  If I didn't go to work just because I didn't feel well, then I'd spend most of my days at home lying around, feeling sorry for myself!  Okay, off of my soap box..

Why Are Women Nicer To Me Then Men?  I've had a number of women tell me they thought I was pretty, even gorgeous (though I know that is a super stretch) and I remember thinking that they were all crazy (and no, they weren't hitting on me...well, maybe one was).  This is not about me either, this is about the fact that women and men see people differently.  Just like other women, I can look at a woman or a man and see the beauty in them - even if society says they aren't "beautiful."  So why do most men not have that ability?  I'm not saying all men...but most.  I know that in the world of most men my age and younger, I don't measure up.  For older men, I'm okay.  But by the time I reach the age of needing an older man, I will no longer be pretty for them.  How unfair is that?  Okay, time to stop dwelling on that!

Day 269: 6/6/12 - "Mexico"

"You could see me reaching,
So why couldn't you have met me halfway
You could see me bleeding
But you could not put pressure on the wound

You only think about yourself.
You only think about yourself.
You'd better bend before I go..."

-Mexico by Incubus

I Don't Shush People: But I really wish I could have shushed the construction workers who came by to set up the scaffolding for a project today.  They weren't being just naturally loud...they were adding extra emphasis (throwing metal bars up and down the scaffolding, so that when metal hit metal you heard a loud clang).  I'm surprised more of our students didn't leave but apparently they were okay with it.  It was just the staff who had headaches and were ready to throw the construction workers outs.

New Symptoms: I'm glad I'm scheduled for the doctor next week - it is beyond time for me to get an answer for the issues I'm dealing with.  With new ones appearing almost daily, I've lost track of when something started and whether or not I could have caused it by my own behavior.  I'll get my answer soon - just hope it's one I can live with.

Day 268: 6/5/12 - "I Will Never Be The Same"

"So you walked with me for a while

bared your naked soul

And you told me of your plan

How you would never let them know

In the morning of the night

You cried a long lost child

And I tried, oh I tried to hold you

But you were young and you were wild

And I, I will never be the same

Oh I, I will never be the same..."

-"I Will Never Be The Same" by Melissa Etheridge

Another One Lost Too Soon: I don't know what I originally planned to post about tonight.  I'm sure I had some thoughts in my head from my day today.  But instead I will write about my cousin, Dawn, who died today.  Dawn and I weren't close in the sense of growing up together.  But we were close in age.  She and my brother are only a few months apart and I think her sister Kim and I are about the same age.  No matter, thinking about Dawn being gone makes me think about how I'd feel if I lost my brother.  I wouldn't be ready to let him go.  I don't know how Kim or her little sister Nicki are doing right now.  I'm sure this is still too fresh and too new for them to be able to digest it at all.  I may not have been close to Dawn, but she was still family, I still knew her, and now she is gone.

We called her Mookie.  I don't know why, but it fit.  She had a great smile (I'm told she looked a lot like her mother) and she always seemed to be laughing whenever I saw her.  I don't know what kind of life she had.  By the time I have memories of her, we were all much older, though I have vague memories of us when we were younger.  I'm sad to say that most of the time I saw Dawn was at a funeral, though there were a couple of family get togethers that weren't so sad.  I think the last time I saw her she had come to visit my Mom when she was in the hospital after having back surgery.  She and Kim love my mom and losing Dawn must feel a lot like losing a daughter to my mother.  I think about her children and hope that they will be able to move forward and on with their lives.  I have no doubt that their aunts will be there for them - but I'm sure it won't be the same.

I don't know why Dawn died - I have a vague sense of my mom saying she may have been diabetic, had gotten an infection in her kidney, or something along those lines.  It doesn't really matter since she was only 38 years old.  38 and gone too soon.  I know others have lost someone much younger.  We lost my other cousin a couple of years ago now and she wasn't even 30 yet.  We lost my cousin Pistol when he was much younger than that.  Each loss wears on me as I wonder about the fact that they are gone but I am still here.  They all had children - children who will now have to grow up without a parent.  I see some of these children when I go home to visit - they are being raised by my cousins and they are getting love and support. But it's not the same.  Why are they gone, but I'm still here?

I won't sleep tonight - I never do when I'm struck by any level of grief.  I'm being selfish right now and thinking about myself.  I can't help but to think about what I will lose one day.  We all lose someone...sometimes we lose ourselves.  I have to remind myself that when its me, I won't know it...I won't know anything.  What will I leave behind?  I have no children to find someone to care for...I have only me.  Who will leave me behind and what will I leave behind?  I won't sleep tonight, but that's nothing new.  I won't sleep tonight, thinking about what I'll leave behind, thinking about being left behind...I won't sleep tonight.

Day 267: 6/4/12 - "Voices"

"You could say I'm a little bit crazy

You could call me insane

Walkin' round with all these whispers

Runnin' round here in my brain..."

-"Voices" by Chris Young

When it Starts to Get to You: I know I'm letting things get to me when I start to forget things that I shouldn't.  Today I barely remembered I was supposed to be at work early and made it just on time.  Then I forgot that I had switched desk shifts around and actually didn't have to be at the desk, but still rushed through my lunch as if I had to be (my stomach did not appreciate the abuse).  I made it through the rest of the afternoon and thought it was getting better, but I got home and realized I was supposed to stop at the store to pick up some butter for the baking I had to do.  I got lucky when I found I had enough (just enough) to make my batch of buttercream.  And then...the buttercream fell apart!  And I had no more butter - I was so upset!  Then I sat down and decided to do my post (before I forgot one more thing).  I logged into my e-mail just to see what was there and low and behold - I got my reminder for my two chat shifts...that I had forgotten completely.  Jeez...I feel like such a dumb ass right now!  I have to get it together and soon - I can't keep letting the actions of others (or the inactions in some cases) ruin my life.  I have to focus, accomplish as much as I can and try to be my best - that is all I can do!

Banana Cream Cupcakes: Since I messed up the buttercream, I don't have any nice pictures to post, but at least I can report that the cupcakes themselves (vanilla with banana cream and banana with banana cream) were absolutely delicious...moist, soft, and tasty!  Then I killed the butter cream and ruined everything.  I won't post a picture of the ruined buttercream - it breaks my heart to even think about it.  And what a waste of ingredients!  I think that bothers me more than anything else.  I hate wasting anything!

Day 266: 6/3/12 - "Break Stuff"

"Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks..."

-"Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit

Epic Fail: Today was one of those days that was just never going to go right, from beginning to end.  I woke up before my alarm with a headache, but after eating, it dissipated enough for me to think that the day would get better.  I headed out to play tennis and didn't win a single game!  I barely one a point.  It was like I couldn't see the ball, couldn't move my feet, couldn't hit a shot.  Nothing went right at all.  I know that I'm not a tennis player by trade, so having a a day like that is no big deal, but it really bothered me that I couldn't do anything right.  It just felt as if that short tennis match was a microcosm of my life...I can't do anything right.  I made it home, showered and then promptly forgot that I needed to go to the store.  I got home, fixed  my meals and immediately realized that the headache was back and had been joined by a return of the pain I've had for the past week.  I was hoping it had gone away for good, but it was back with a vengeance.  The rest of the day has been a blur as I've tried to figure out how to make myself feel better.  Nothing has worked yet...