Day 247: 5/15/12 - "Hold On"

"There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart

But it's no one's fault, no, it's not my fault

And maybe all the plans we made might not work out..."

-"Hold On" by Michael Buble

Savory: I finally had to take a break from baking the sweets tonight since I hadn't eaten a real dinner in a couple of nights.  But I still wanted to bake, so I ended up making mini chicken pot pies using my large muffin tin.  I must say they turned out very well considering the last minute process I used to put them together.  Here is how I constructed these masterpieces:

1 can of mixed vegetables, drained
1 can of reduced fat cream of mushroom soup
8 oz of chicken breast (pre-cooked and cubed)
Homemade pie crust (1 cup whole wheat flour, 1 cup all purpose flour, 1/2 cup shortening (or butter), 1/4 tsp salt, 1 tsp baking powder, and cold water).

If your chicken is not pre-cooked, go ahead and bake it, cool it and cube it.  Set aside in a bowl.  Drain the mixed vegetables and add to the bowl.  Then add the cream of mushroom soup and salt and pepper to taste; stir to combine.  Set aside.  To make the crust, combine the flour, salt and baking powder in a large bowl.  Add the shortening and use a fork to cut into the mixture.  When it resembles course meal, create  well in the center and add your cold water with a tablespoon.  Add 1-2 tablespoons at a time and stir to combine.  The mixture should start to form a soft dough.  Don't add too much water, just add enough to create a ball of dough that can be rolled.  Pour some flour out onto a clean, flat surface and roll out flat and thin.  Use a bowl with an approximately 4 inch diameter to cut the dough into small circles.  Spray your muffin tin and then place the large circles of dough into the tin.  Add the chicken, vegetable, sauce mixture.  With the remaining dough roll and cut out slightly smaller circles (a large biscuit or round cookie cutter usually works).  Layer two to three of these smaller circles on top of each of the muffins to create a lid for your pot pies.  Bake in a 350 degree oven for 17 to 20 minutes.  Remove and carefully use a knife to separate the edges from the tin, then carefully lift the mini pies from the pan.  Here is what it looked like for me:

Muffin cups with pie crust dough

Chicken mixture added

top layers of dough

finished product

 

Day 147: 2/5/12 - "Superman (It's Not Easy)"

"I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naive

I'm just out to find

The better part of me..."

-"Superman" by Five for Fighting

Super Sunday of Cooking: While most people were busy preparing dishes for Superbowl Sunday get togethers, I was busy just cooking for myself.  It's starting to get old and it makes me more cognizant of my loneliness.  But I will say that I did yeoman's work today and managed to cook/bake a huge amount in a very short amount of time.  Here is what I made today:

• roasted drumsticks
• barbecue drumsticks
• pinto beans
• Spanish rice
• blueberry muffins
• guacamole
• pasta and vegetables
• garlic roasted potatoes
• garlic mashed potatoes
• boiled shrimp 
• baked catfish

Overkill?  Probably, but I must say that I enjoyed myself and relieved some serious stress. Here is a picture of the blueberry muffins.  I didn't take pictures of the other stuff because I was packing it into the fridge as I went.  But trust me, everything looked delicious!

Tough Decisions: I'm back to the tough decisions conversation again.  Yes, this is the internal one I keep having with myself and now I'm starting to think I need to go in a different direction. Now I need to go check some deadlines and some online information before I make my next decision, but I'm starting to lean towards a more scholarly path than I had at first thought.

The Superbowl: I have to include an entry on the Superbowl and the ads that were played as well.  Talk about a great game!  And I was pulling for the Giants, though the pieces that they did on the Pats had me crying and almost cheering for them as well.  Neither is my favorite team but I'm just not a Pats fan.  I'm glad it was a great game that came down to the very end.  As for the ads, I thought there were some pretty good ones and some lame ones.  My favorite? the Doritos commercial with the missing cat and the family dog that bribes the man with his favorite Doritos.  I think that one will be a classic!

Day 21: 10/2/11 - "Be Yourself"

"Yeah and to be yourself is all that you can do
Hey, to be yourself is all that you can do"

-"Be Yourself" by Audioslave

Vivid Dreams: For the second night in a row I awoke from a vivid dream with another person with a name that I was supposed to remember. This time I was apparently working in a club (yeah, I know - in what reality would that ever be true?) and I remember the outfit that I was wearing so well that I had to draw it out. I also remember that I worked with/for someone named Patty and that he was known as a hugger (but he had a beard that even in my dream was scratchy). When I couldn't shake the memory or the outfit, I drew it out. Since I don't sew, I have no doubt that I won't be making it at any point in my life, but it felt good to put it down on a paper. It's been a while since I've done any clothing design. I was so inspired that I finally drew the wedding dress that I designed for a character in a book. Maybe one day I'll find the time and the ability to create both outfits.

How to Waste a Day: I discovered how easy it is to waste a day by doing the very things you are supposed to do. Here is the rundown:

6:45 am: woke up and took medicine - went back to sleep
8:30 am: woke up for real.
9:00 am: walked over to the grocery store to buy a newspaper
10:00 am: made and ate breakfast
10:20 am: clip and sort coupons, create shopping list.
11:30 am: head to the store
2:00 pm: finally arrive home from shopping
3:30 pm: started cooking
7:30 pm: finished cooking
8:00 pm: washed hair
9:00 pm: cleaned kitchen
11:00 pm: write blog

Not much time to do anything else, but left wondering how did the day go by so fast? I have no clue, but I feel as if I didn't accomplish much, other than cooking. Here is what I managed to make today:

Mushroom & Green Pepper Pizza with Corn Meal & Whole Wheat Crust

Vegetable Rolls

Chicken & Sausage Gumbo

Indian Mango Dal

The house smells slightly odd now because of the mixture of aromas. A little like Indian food and a little like New Orleans food. Haven't tasted the Mango Dal yet - I was too full to eat it by the time it was done. The pizza wasn't too bad. I tasted the stock of the gumbo but haven't eaten a whole bite yet. For those who don't know, I don't like okra, so eating gumbo is not something I normally do, and making gumbo is definitely a first!

Loneliness: It's funny how when you are already feeling down, you only see the things that remind you of just how alone you really are (even though there are likely other things out there that would show you that you aren't the only one). Take today, for instance. As I shopped I noticed how most others were there with someone else (husband, wife, children, etc.). While I struggled with my full basket, they had an extra set of hands to help them push. While I got frustrated when I had to backtrack to another aisle because I had forgotten something, they could send someone to get it so that they could continue with their shopping. While I struggled to bring everything up a flight of stairs and unpack it all, they likely went home and had their family to help them. Then, while perusing Facebook, I see that not one, but two of my FB friends has posted an ultrasound. If that doesn't hit you like a slap in the face, I don't know what would. Now I have to hope that I can go to sleep and not dream as vividly as I have the last two nights. These dreams are actually good - which means they hurt when I wake up and the people who were there in them aren't here with me, and I'm still alone.

Day 7: 9/18/11 - "Reflection"

"Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time.
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside...."

-"Reflection" by Christina Aguilera

One Week: Today means that I've officially made it one week since my birthday. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, and I know that time hasn't slowed down or sped up in any way, but this week seemed to drag on forever, but once the weekend arrived, I felt as if I needed/wanted more time. To do what? Nothing actually, but that's not the point. What I'm noticing is that I find myself dragging no matter what day of the week it is. Today I tried to do some of the normal things I always do and I find myself tired only a few hours into the day. I'm wondering when this will all end.

Chili: Though fall is officially not here yet (and with this being Texas, there is a chance that fall won't arrive for a while) I decided to make chili today. Nothing special, just black beans, garbanzo beans, lentils, chicken breast, tomatoes, shredded zucchini, red onion thrown into a pot with some seasoning. It doesn't taste bad but it will taste better if I let it sit for a couple of days. So I'll wait until Wednesday to give it a real try.

Trying to Catch Up: I can honestly say that I've never felt this far behind in my work ever before. I find myself fighting moments of rising panic when my brain tries to remind me that I've got so many things to get done, all with deadlines. It happened on Friday morning when I was sitting in a meeting. I was sitting there taking notes and listening to my colleague when all of a sudden I felt my heart jump and speed up as the thought crossed my mind - "I really need to get back to work, I have so much to do!" This has been happening nearly every day now for the past 3 weeks. I shouldn't be surprised, but I do know that I cannot go on like this. I'm either going to have a nervous breakdown or I'm going to burn out (they aren't the same thing, in case you are wondering, though they may seem similar). I'll try to go back to the "one thing at a time" mentality tomorrow but it didn't seem to work last week, so not sure how useful it will be this week.

Talking to Friends: I had the chance to chat with a good friend today and was reminded again of how much I hate talking on the phone (not because of her - I actually do like talking to her!). There is something about being on the phone that just drives me crazy and I want to do anything else. It doesn't matter who I'm talking to - mom, dad, friend, bill collector - all I can do is think about what I'm not doing because I'm on the phone (like today, I was thinking about the cleaning, cooking, and grading that I needed to get done).

Stormy Weather: A thunderstorm rolled through tonight - they usually frighten me but since this one was bringing rain, so I didn't really pay as much attention to the rumbling and flashes of lightening as I usually do. Don't get me wrong, I noticed them, but I didn't get as jumpy as I usually do. Wonder what that is all about?