Day 5: 9/16/11 - "Red"

"They say freak,
When you're singled out,
The red, well it filters through."

-"Red" by Chevelle

Rain, Rain, Wish You'd Stay. Stay, Stay for Another Day. I know that's not the real rhyme, but if you've been in Texas for the last year, then you know we need the rain. Today it rained and it was wonderful to watch and walk in. Then it was gone. Not sure if it helped our aquifer, but it couldn't hurt. As I thought about all of the sunshine and the heat that we've had lately, I started to wonder about SAD. When I lived in Seattle, people kept telling me to keep an eye out for the symptoms since technically they get so little sun there. But I never struggled. I started to wonder if I would have trouble with the opposite situation - too much sun! I do think that has been a part of why I've struggled with the big D so much recently. I mean, does the sky have to be so freaking blue all of the time? Can't I even just get a cloudy day (even if it doesn't rain)? And WTF is up with the multiple 100 degree days? I know what you're going to say...I moved to Texas, so I get what I deserve. I can only hope the weather breaks soon...before I do.

First the Right, Now the Left? I managed to make it through another 5k this morning, but my right knee is now barking. It doesn't feel like my left one did (the one with the torn meniscus) but it still hurts on stairs and bending. I'll have to keep an eye on it. I think watching my body breaking down has been the most annoying (and disheartening) part of aging. I know it is natural, but I think I'm aging prematurely and I hate it.

Beware the Cantaloupe. My father called this morning while I was on the treadmill and asked me if I had bought any cantaloupe recently. I told him know, I hate cantaloupe. he was very relieved...he worries about me now and often calls me any time there is a recall. Especially on things he knows I love, like ground turkey. I'm not surprised he forgot that I don't eat cantaloupe (my mother loves it), since I eat most things and love watermelon.

Helping the Lost. My staff member called me out to the desk today at nearly 5pm. I was already thinking that I might make it out of the office by 5:30 (which would be a real coup for me!). Instead, I met a student who was new to our country and struggling with the usual issues that student's have...roommates. I spent over an hour trying to help her figure out what to do (without giving her real advice since that's not part of my job). If you are wondering why I even bothered, its because I know on one level what she is going through (being far from home with no family). I at least could speak and understand the language well. She speaks fairly well but struggles to convey what she really feels. I sent her on her way with a plan and I hope it works for her. I honestly don't know what her other options might be (she said she tried to talk to counseling services but they didn't help her). She may just be out of luck. I almost said to her, "That's life" but thought that I would sound too callous.

Every Day. I took my last pill this morning and luckily I had remembered last night to call in my refill, but even as I drove home, I kept thinking "how sad I have to stop and get my pills so that I don't skip a day." Just another reminder of just what I've lost.