Day 8: 9/19/11 - "Innocence"

"What else can I do when the tears have all been wasted?
And the only voice you choose to hear
Sings the songs of our hearts breaking.
Say your dreams, they all have changed.
Well, my smiles, they all have faded.
And the thoughts that used to seem so pure in my heart
They now feel jaded.
Because I wanna feel Like I did.
And I wanna feel innocence."

-"Innocence" by Hootie & The Blowfish

Overwhelmed: That is the only word I can use to describe how I feel right now. I'll keep this posting short, mostly due to the fact that I'm too tired right now to put together one of my usual extra-long posts. I don't even know where to start with my list of things that need to be done. I'm trying to take care of things that need constant work but keep getting bull-dozed by things that need my immediate attention, along with things that are already past due. I'm desperately searching for some clarity in this difficult time. I'm feeling more and more tired each day and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up the pretense that I'm alright.

Play Through the Pain: I think I would have made a great professional athlete, for any sport that I might have tried. Why? Because obviously people applaud athletes who play through the pain. Break your leg but keep playing? You are great! Break a rib and puncture a lung and then come back in the game and lead your team on to a victory? You the man! If you can't see the sarcasm here, then you don't know me very well! Sorry fellas, but dying on the field only worked in places like Sparta during ancient times. You could be the ultimate hero in death - but I prefer to be the one who can return to fight (or play!) another day. It's not that I can't play through the pain - those who know me know that I live through the pain already! But you have to know your limits and a punctured lung is way beyond anyone's normal limits. What's next - a lacerated liver that bleeds out? Have fun surviving that one!

History: Congratulations Mariano Rivera - I may not be a Yankees fan but even I can appreciate his efforts and his overall dominance. Now, as long as the Yanks lose in the first round of the playoffs, all will be right with the world.