Day 94: 12/14/11 - "Feelin' So Good"

"I'm feelin' so good

I knew that I would

Been taking care of myself like I should..."

-"Feelin' So Good" by Jennifer Lopez

So Much Better: Though I'm still suffering from sinus issues, a sore throat and laryngitis, I can honestly say that I haven't felt this good in a long while.  Things aren't perfect, mind you. But they never were and likely never will be.  But I can give up perfection for just "good."  I'm still only about half way up a very long mountainous climb, but now, instead of feeling like I was on the way down, I now feel as if I'm on the way up.

Bonding Through Pain?  Okay, so it wasn't quite bonding, but four of us headed over to La Cantera today and had our ears pierced at Claire's.  One person only got a second hole in their ear, but three of us chose to get our cartilage pierced.  So far so good with pain management (only a little twinge now and again).  I love the fact that they include a giant bottle of cleaner now and I now have the most expensive earring I've ever owned in my ear (I will have to treat myself one day and actually buy a few more gold based earrings!).

Day 93: 12/13/11 - "Standing at the Edge of the Earth"

"Are you searching for words that you can't find

Trying to hide your emotions..."

-"Standing at the Edge of the Earth" by Blessid Union of Soul

Holiday Elf: Today I played Holiday Elf for the first time in two years.  I didn't realize how much I missed baking and delivering Christmas Cookies to people until I actually did it again today.  From what I could tell the cookies were well-received and I only have two bags left to deliver tomorrow (to our external people).  I don't know how long I'll continue doing this but I definitely think it could turn into a lucrative business if I could just get myself set up with the stock I need and an online storefront.  I'd also have to find out a way to improve the shipping (shipping costs are a royal pain!).  Maybe priority post would work?  I'd also have to make sure I bought plenty of bubble wrap!  Can't have broken cookies!  Of course, there is also the hilarity of me pretending to be an elf.  Will Farrell has a couple of inches on me but talk about a big elf!

Final Final: I gave my final exam for my class today.  I don't know overall how it went and tomorrow I'll have to look at the questions to see if there was anything unfair going on.  But from what I can see, most people who actually studied did well and got the grade they were hoping for in the class.  Others who were struggling already continued to struggle on the final.  I didn't purposely try to make it hard and since they had a study guide I guess there is no real excuse for some of the low points.  I've learned a lot this semester and I plan to write it all down one day soon but for now I'm just enjoying being one step closer to the end of the semester.

Day 92: 12/12/11 - "Smile"

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking"

-"Smile" by Nat King Cole

I Hate Being Sick!  I woke up at 3:00 am with a scratchy throat.  I've been sneezing for about 3 days and my sinuses have been acting up, so I'm not surprised that my throat has now joined the party.  The only issue?  The medicine I normally take has a warning on it that says not to take if you have thyroid disease!  Do I officially have thyroid disease if I don't have a thyroid?  That's almost a philosophical question...

Final Baking Frontier: I finished all of my baking tonight (even the sugar cookies I was worried wouldn't come out because I tinkered with the recipe).  I even managed to bag everything, and box and wrap the ones that are being mailed out.  Sorry to those who are used to getting my treats - I only made enough to send to a couple of locations, and those people called dibs.  Next year you'll have to get on the nice list early so that you'll have cookies coming your way.  Even the extra vegan ones were claimed!

Vegan Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Dark Chocolate Chip

Sugar

Vegan Snickerdoodle

Day 91: 12/11/11 - "Michelle Post"

"Michelle Post knows all about it

But she don't want is just to talk about it.

She's got everything that she believes in

She got something and she won't let me in..."

-"Michelle Post" by Hootie & The Blowfish

Cold Tennis: I haven't played tennis in the cold for over 2 years and I had forgotten just how cold my hands get.  I had a good time and got some good exercise (and got my butt kicked as usual - I really need to work on my ground strokes and my confidence).  The courts we played at were very nice - you could tell how new they were.  Too bad they don't have lights - it would be  great spot to play tennis at night too, and close to campus.

Baking Extravaganza: I decided to do my major baking extravaganza this year (though on a much smaller scale than I used to do).  I only have one oven rack so it took me from 6:00 pm - 10:40pm to get through the oatmeal, M&M, chocolate with white chips, chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies.  I decided to hold off on the rolled sugar cookies (too tired!) and also the vegan cookies I'm making for one of my students.  But I think I did a pretty good job for one oven rack and for getting such a late start.

Here are the pics:

Oatmeal

M&M

Chocolate with White Chips

Chocolate Chip (with Snickerdoodles in the background)

Peanut Butter

Day 90: 12/10/11 - "Getaway"

"I know this is how I could be over you
You know this is not another waste of time
All this holding on can't be wrong"

-"Getaway" by Train

Scenes from a Run: I always take note of the trash that is thrown out when I run.  Today I went a little furhter than normal and saw more than trash, so I thought I would document it here:

• Cans and Bottles: Talk about litterbugs!  I saw 5 beer cans (the large size ones), 1 beer bottle that was intact and a kaleidoscope of broken bottles that I had to dodge (I kick things up when I run), and three water bottles.  I wish people would stop just throwing things out and at least put them in the trash.  The recycling would be even better.
• Dangerous Drivers: The campaigns aren't working, folks.  The number of people I saw texting while driving or talking on the phone while driving was ridiculous.  One man actually stopped at a green light and then turned right without checking traffic because he was playing with his phone.  To make matters worse, he had a kid in the car with him - so in about five or six years when that kid starts to drive and has a wreck because he's texting, we'll know that it has nothing to do with his age, and everything to do with the bad influence of his father!
• Birds: We haven't had a lot of water lately, so I was surprised to see some standing water at the corner of Bitters and Blanco. I looked to my right as I was passing and saw what I thought was a statue.  It took me a minute to realize it was a white crane!  It was standing in the water and watching a group of ducks a they swam around.  I wanted to take a picture but I knew if I stopped running I would lose my momentum.  It was nice to see though!

Holiday Hell: This holiday is sneaking up on me faster than I want to admit.  I haven't even made arrangements to go home yet (though I promised my family I would come home).  As much as I miss them, I am dreading not only the travel but also just the day to day of not being productive.  I've learned that I can't be productive at home (no Internet, issue with smoke inhalation, tension, stress...none of that says "productivity").  I'll have to find a way to get something done, even if I have to spend the time at the public library.  That might be the best option for me though it still won't guarantee success.

Nightmares: For some reason I've been having nightmares the last few nights.  In one my dad had something wrong with his legs due to his diabetes and had to have his legs amputated (I found this horrifying because it could become all too true).  Then last night I dreamed that I had forgotten to put together my students' final exam and had to try to run back to the library to get to my computer to create it in 20 minutes.  Of course, it took me nearly 4 hours today to actually create it (and yes, the nightmare made me get on the ball today).  I hate dreams that are way too close to the truth!

Day 89: 12/09/11 - "I Don't Want to Be"

"I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn,

I'm surrounded by impostors everywhere I turn,

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn,

Am I the only one to notice?

I can't be the only one who's learned,

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately,

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind,

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do,

Or who I'm supposed to be,

I don't wanna be anything other than me"

-"I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin Degraw

Piercing Deferred: So we decided to move our group piercing adventure to next week when we have more time and I think this definitely makes sense.  Today was crazy and I barely got the basics done.  Trying to disappear for an hour or so would have been impossible.  We plan to go on Wednesday now and don't worry, I'll post pictures of this little adventure when it is all said and done.

Snowballing: For anyone who thought the Jerry Sandusky situation would be the end of it, you don't know the reality of this world.  All it takes is one person who is strong enough to speak out on national tv to let others know that they can and will be believed.  The hardest thing about abuse is the internal struggle the victim has to deal with.  The inner belief that no one will believe you is like a corrosive acid that eats away at your strength and your courage.  But having someone else take that step and challenge the status quo can really help to give someone else that push they need to free themselves from such a heavy burden.  People always question the victims, asking things like "Why now?" and "What's your evidence?"  What people don't understand is that it shouldn't matter when they tell, only that they finally get the chance to tell. And your evidence?  Sorry to disappoint people, but much of the damage done by abuse is not visible - the victims word is their evidence and many people say that isn't enough.  And you wonder why so many victims never say a word...

Day 88: 12/08/11 - "Happy"

"Someone once told me that you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can't have everything

Don't you take chances

Might feel the pain

Don't you love in vain

Cause love won't set you free

I can't stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy

But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don't care about all the pain in front of me

Cause I'm just trying to be happy, yeah

Just wanna be happy, yeah

Just can't let it go

Just trying to play my role

Slowly disappear, oh

But all these days, they feel like they're the same

Just different faces, different names

Get me out of here

I can't stand by your side, oh no

And watch this life pass me by, pass me by"

-"Happy" by Leona Lewis

More Work: I found out today that a proposal for a roundtable that I co-submitted with someone was accepted to the First Year Experience Conference.  On the one hand, I'm happy about this because it always feels good to be accepted.  On the other hand I'm kicking myself because of the extra work this is going to mean for me, and right after the Midwinter conference.  The only good news is that the conference is taking place in San Antonio, so I don't have to go anywhere, other than downtown, to attend.  The registration is so expensive that this is a blessing - no way could I also afford to cover my airfare and housing.  I'll have 4 conferences by the time this year is out.

Odd Bonding: So apparently a group of us are going to the mall to get our ears pierced tomorrow.  I know this sounds strange but in one way it will be like an exercise in librarian bonding.  Plus, I've always intended to get my upper ear pierced and never got around to it.  I'll be curious to see which one of us goes first and who backs out.  Hope it doesn't cost too much - if it does, it will be my Christmas present to myself.

No Chance: I figured out that the reason I'm so unlucky in love is that I really don't have a chance to begin with.  You have to be able to catch someone's eye in a positive way to begin with, to later have a chance of something more meaningful.  I catch the eye of lots of people but only because they are staring at me because of my height (or who knows the other reason).  No ones looking at ME.  Not sure how to get people to do that but I hope I figure it out one day.