Day 346: 8/22/12 - "I Never Told You"

"But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you"

-"I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat

Last Texas Tennis Match?  I likely played my last Texas tennis match today - the weather was warm but breezy, so more comfortable than it has been in a while.  I lost, of course, but I did play better.  I'm also so sore right now that I can barely get up off of the couch!  I hope I'll be able to find someone to play tennis with in Miami on a regular basis.  I think I could get better and be healthier if I can be consistent with my tennis playing.  Not sure how my body will hold up to the wear and tear of that type of activity, though.  I'll just have to wait and see!

Another Last: My final LMT meeting today - I can't say I'll miss them overmuch.  I can say that I was reminded of a few things about the processes and procedures that gave me the biggest headache ever!  I can only hope that others will be able to weather the storm and come out better on the other side.

Day 306: 7/13/12 - "Get The Party Started"

"I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
Get this party started"

-"Get the Party Started" by P!nk

Winning at Losing Tennis: I finally got to play tennis again and low and behold...I still suck!  But I actually played better - I missed fewer shots, executed some touch shots, and actually made my partner win points rather than just giving them away.  It's always a little disappointing to lose all the time, but I definite don't mind as long as I did my best.  It also gives me hope for the future as I know I can get better.  Once I get to Florida I might take up lessons so I can actually correct my backhand and forehand.  And maybe have someone teach me how to get a little more pop on my serve!

First & Only Time Out in San Antonio: My friend, DD, actually managed to get me out of the house to actually go to a club here in San Antonio.  Luckily another girl-friend came along and we made our way downtown to the Bonham Exchange.  Apparently the club is in an old hotel and actually looks pretty cool.  It's also considered by many to be a gay club but there are plenty of all types of people there, all mingling together. We were the last ones to get in without a cover charge (score!) and they had really cheap well drinks (and really watered down too).  My friends treated me to two drinks since I usually don't drink (but since I wasn't driving I actually drank them).  I had an amaretto sour and then another drink with amaretto and pineapple juice (yum).  We hit two of the dance floors - one in the hip hop room and the other in the dance music room.  We also saw some very interesting goings-on and saw some "odd" things as well.  Here is the list:

• Two guys in their underwear dancing on a high stage for cash (one in a g-string, the other in his short briefs).
• Two couples grinding in public (really could have done without seeing that).
• A young man with a Pikachu backpack.
• Two cowboys in the dance music room who lost their shirts part way through.
• The men's and women's dance offs in the hip hop room.  The emcee was a drag queen who was a little out there - but super funny.  I also discovered that the female dance off was all about ass-shaking and it was scary to see how many girls just didn't have any ass to shake!  Also, what happened to actually dancing?  Sadly, the girl who won wasn't the best dancer, she just shook her ass the best...according to the emcee and the crowd.  Another girl had a skirt on so short that the minute she started shaking, it pulled right up.
• A bachelorette party that featured super short and tight dresses, including a pregnant woman in three inch heels.
• A man in a long black coat and a top hat with silver streamers hanging from the back.
• A girl in yoga gear...I only point this out because really, you couldn't have just put on some jeans?  You wore your yoga capris and top?

I also discovered something very important...have your friends check the see-through quality of your shirt before you enter the building of strobing lights, so that you don't find out when a picture is taken that your bra is clearly visible through your shirt whenever the light hits you full on!  Don't believe me?  Check out the pic!

Day 223: 4/21/12 - "Mary Jane"

"What's the matter Mary Jane

Had a hard day

So place the don't disturb sign on the door

You lost your place in line again

What a pity

You never seem to wanna dance anymore

It's a long way down

On this roller coaster

The last chance street car

Went off the track

An you're on it.."

-"Mary Jane" by Alanis Morissette

A Small Victory: Today I scored a small victory in my quest to be a better tennis player.  I actually won a set off of my tennis partner today.  It only took me about a year to do it (which wasn't great) but at least I finally did it.  Of course, I lost the match itself, but I have to take my small victories where I can get them.  But, a 1-6, 6-4, 2-6 score line is definitely better than anything I've put together before.  Maybe I'll actually improve my skills enough to consider playing a local tournament again.

Breaking Out Into Hives:  I either have a mosquito infestation in my apartment or I'm breaking out into hives.  I keep finding what looks like mosquito bites on my arms and legs and it just started today.  I'll have to keep an eye on that.  I don't know how I could have gotten a mosquito issue in my apartment and I definitely haven't seen anything flying around the apartment.  I hate bugs and bug bites are some of the itchiest out there!

Decisions, Decisions: Trying to make tough decisions that will have a great impact on your life is one of the toughest things to do.  I feel like I'm stuck between a rock, a hard place, and there is freezing cold water pouring down on top of me.  Yes, this is the stuff that causes nightmares.  And there are others who think they have the right to "help" me make this decision, but this one I have to make on my own.  They won't understand but for once I don't care.  I need to make a decision for myself because the ways things are going, there will only be myself to take care of me in the future.  If I don't put myself in position to be safe and secure, no one else will...

Day 193: 3/22/12 - "I'm Stuck With Me"

"Wish I looked a little more like Orlando Bloom

Wish I was DaVinci inventing in my room

A mind like Stephen Hawking

The love of the Nazarene

The presence of Morrison

Or James Dean

Of everyone I wish I could be

I’ve got to find my destiny

And I’m floating my own uncharted sea

Better get used to it

I’m stuck with me

I’d really like to leave the world a Franklin legacy

A Lancelot with skillful sword and chivalry

Conquer Alexander

With Gandhi’s stoic will

Lead like Martin Luther King or Churchill

Of all the things I wish I could be

I cannot change my true destiny

And I’m floating my own uncharted sea

Make the most of it

I’m stuck with me

We all have gifts unopened,

Are a hero in someone’s eyes,

The foundation to be depended upon,

A will as broad as the sky

Have the courage to match Magellan

Make a new discovery

I am the best at something

A thing alone I’m meant to be

Guess it’s fortunate

To be stuck with me

I’m who I must be (that’s alright)

Still I could be better (that’s alright)"

-"I'm Stuck with Me" by Grayscale

Stuck With Me: I heard this song today on Pandora and simply loved it!  Had to do the full lyrics for this post since I couldn't pick just a few lines from this one.  The rhythm was nice too.  Might have to download this one from Amazon!

Tennis: Yay me!  I almost took a set off of my tennis buddy today!  I was down 4-1 and won the next 4 games!  Then I held on to force a tie breaker.  I lost the tie breaker 9-7 but was proud of myself for the way I played.  I came to the net more and hit some nice volleys.  I also took advantage of some short and high shots to hit some winners.  Next goal - to actually win a set!  But I will also say that the set took so long that we only played the one!

Chocolate & Peanut Butter Cupcakes: So I was at it again - making cupcakes for my friends in Houston (heading there tomorrow!).  I made a chocolate and peanut butter cupcake with peanut butter buttercream (which is to die for!).  I had enough peanut butter batter to make just a peanut butter cupcake and I almost threw the chocolate over in favor of these, they were so good!  Peanut butter is one of those things, that when done right, can really satisfy your appetite!

Batter

Baked

Peanut Butter Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting

Chocolate/Peanut Butter Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting

Check out the "Pie" Frosting Pattern!

Day 153: 2/11/12 - "The Greatest Love of All"

"The greatest love, of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all..."

-"The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston (RIP)

Exercise Overkill: As I sit hit typing and noticing the pain in my legs, I realize that I slightly overdid it with the exercise today.  After I finished my 9 miles (and it was a tough nine miles - I took a different route, found the biggest hill I've eve tried to run up - had to walk part of it - and found a really great view of Texas), I came home, had a quick meal and then headed out to play tennis for a couple of hours.  I didn't do too badly at tennis today (I lost 6-4, 6-1) but I definitely ran out of steam in the 2nd set!  Needless to say, if I were playing tennis professionally, I'd never be crazy enough to run 9 miles before trying to play.  I did treat myself to frozen yogurt though - which I think was well earned!

RIP Whitney Houston: People pass, young and old, rich and poor, famous and unknown, but even I was shocked to hear of the death of Whitney Houston today.  I think I always loved Whitney, especially as a little girl.  My cousin reminded me of this - she even remembered how much I loved singing Whitney Houston songs.  I think its not just her age, but her talent and the downward slide she has been on for the past few years.  What a great talent...what talent wasted.  I hope she rests in peace and that her family can survive this.

Toothache!  I have a serious toothache that I think is actually due to my sinuses!  How awful since it doesn't react to heat or cold or pressure or anything - it just hurts!  And don't let me sneeze - it goes completely nuts!  Now I have to try to find a way to treat a toothache that doesn't want to react to the normal treatment measures I would use!

Day 127: 1/16/12 - "Imagine"

"You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one"

-"Imagine" by John Lennon

Celebrating MLK Day: I've never marched for a cause.  I've never had to go to the back of a bus...plain...train...or any other type of mass transit unless I wanted to.  I've never had to drink from a particular water fountain or been denied the right to sit at a lunch counter because of the color of my skin.  And I've never had to fight for the right to have the same level of education as other children.  I am able to learn and go where I want to.  I am able to live my life in a way that others could only imagine a few years ago.  I am able to do all of these things because of countless numbers of people who marched...sat-in...and died for the right to do so, only one of which was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Thank you Dr. King, and all of the others who have given me the opportunities that you did not have.  I may not march or stand in vigil, but I do know what you did for me.

Granola Bars!  I decided to try my hand at granola bars again, and this time I relied on the Food Network recipe from Alton Brown.  I think they turned out much better this time - likely because I didn't burn them!  But also because I didn't try to put any chocolate into them (I think that really didn't go over well).  I went with the exact recipe except for the fruit - I only had dried cranberries and raisins, so I put only about 4 oz. into the mix.  I still think they turned out well and even though they crumbled when I cut them, they make very good granola.

Aussie Open: The Australian Open started yesterday, and so far no major surprises, though I'm seeing some very good games, especially on the men's side.  But I would like to dedicate this particular entry paragraph to a growing problem in tennis...grunting.  I am not a big fan of Maria Sharapova (for reasons I won't go into here), but one of the things that truly bothers me is how loud she is when she plays. She's not the worst, though I'm sure there are others who would disagree.  I think Serena Williams is also one of the culprits.  But the final straw has been the large number of men turning into loud grunters as they play.  The reason I'm even thinking about this is because I just watched a point between Ryan Harrison and Andy Murray and though both men were hitting the ball hard, running back and forth, and exerting themselves heavily, there was not one grunt to be heard.  How refreshing!  Even when you hear noise, you hear their breathing and the occasional "mini-grunt."  But nothing so loud that you would worry glass might break (or maybe just your ear drum).  Can we get a rule against the grunting?

Day 114: 1/3/12 - "Beautiful Disaster"

"And every magazine tells her she's not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry
She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home"

-"Beautiful Disaster" by Jon McLaughlin

Another One?  Today I started a new blog.  I know what you are thinking - "Another one?  I mean, come one, Kawanna.  Aren't two enough?  You barely even remember to post in the professional one!"  To this I have to say that I've been able to maintain this one and keep my promise to post daily.  And the real reason I haven't posted in my professional one is that I haven't had anything to say (and yes, I'm being defensive!).  My new blog is completely sports based (mostly baseball).  I started it because...well, just read the first post and you'll see why I started it.  The address is http://throwingcurves.blogspot.com.

What She Said  Apparently, after winning her first match of the 2012 season, Serena Williams said that she doesn't love tennis.  Check out the story on ESPN if you want to read the details.  Not everyone has been happy about this statement but I think the only person who should be sad about it is Serena Williams.  How many of us are working jobs that don't make us happy anymore?  How many of us are still in it just for the money and if we could, we would do something else?  And how many of us realize that there isn't anything else that we can do, because our jobs bring in the bacon.  I think this is what Serena Williams was trying to say (and yes, she might have been able to put it in a better way, but I think she was being truthful).  I can only wish her luck in finding what she does love and then doing it.  She'll have a better shot at it than most of us with the amount of money she has.  Me, I just have to keep trying to win the lottery!

Day 91: 12/11/11 - "Michelle Post"

"Michelle Post knows all about it

But she don't want is just to talk about it.

She's got everything that she believes in

She got something and she won't let me in..."

-"Michelle Post" by Hootie & The Blowfish

Cold Tennis: I haven't played tennis in the cold for over 2 years and I had forgotten just how cold my hands get.  I had a good time and got some good exercise (and got my butt kicked as usual - I really need to work on my ground strokes and my confidence).  The courts we played at were very nice - you could tell how new they were.  Too bad they don't have lights - it would be  great spot to play tennis at night too, and close to campus.

Baking Extravaganza: I decided to do my major baking extravaganza this year (though on a much smaller scale than I used to do).  I only have one oven rack so it took me from 6:00 pm - 10:40pm to get through the oatmeal, M&M, chocolate with white chips, chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies.  I decided to hold off on the rolled sugar cookies (too tired!) and also the vegan cookies I'm making for one of my students.  But I think I did a pretty good job for one oven rack and for getting such a late start.

Here are the pics:

Oatmeal

M&M

Chocolate with White Chips

Chocolate Chip (with Snickerdoodles in the background)

Peanut Butter

Day 19: 9/30/11 - "Let Her Cry"

"Let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be..."

-"Let Her Cry" by Hootie & the Blowflish

Tennis: I'll start here tonight since I was so happy to finally get a chance to get back out there and play again. I struggled with my shots as usual, but for some reason it was my forehand that gave me more trouble than anything else. My backhand wasn't terrible and my serve was okay (only 1 double fault). I lost 6-0, 6-2 but I played the entire match and I competed this time. I had my friend Del take a picture of me "in action" so that I could post it. It was nice to get out there and do something fun and healthy (though I'm sure my aching bones might disagree with the "healthy" claim). Note the terrible footwork I'm displaying in this picture...but check out the cool headband!

Bundled Registration: So just when I'm thinking I won't be shelling out any more money in big chunks for a while, I remember that I have to register for ALA today or I'll lose the bundled savings. So out comes the credit card again to pay for something I won't even be "using" until June 2012! How annoying is that? And then I notice that not only has the bundled priced gone up, but ALA won't be printing and sending out badges this year. We'll have to print them when we get to the conference. So if we're saving by not printing and mailing badges, what's up with the increased rates?

The Sing Off: I really love this show and hate that some groups aren't going to make it (but that's the nature of competition). I'll keep watching unlike other reality shows that I can't stand, but I'll be sad to see some of these people go. I also had this great idea that my brother should get a group together to do something like this. Now, acappella isn't his thing, but he can arrange and mix music like no one else. If he could find the right mixture of people I know he could put out a great product. I'll have to mention it to him when I go home for the holidays.

Day 16: 9/27/11 - "Another Horse Dreamer's Blues"

"She's tired and lonely
Scared and depressed
Her visions of one day go racing the next
She's trying to be a good girl
And give 'em what they want..."

- "Another Horse Dreamer's Blues"

Things That Really Bother Me: I'm bothered by a lot of things. Worldwide hunger issues, war, abuse, etc. Mostly large things that impact a lot of people. But I also realized I'm bothered by smaller things too - things that likely don't impact others the way they do me. This morning I experienced two of those things as soon as I left my apartment.

1. Throwing something that is recyclable into the trash because the recycling bin is full. Why can't they just wait until the recycling bin is empty again and then take the item out?
2. Mulch. I know this stuff is good for keeping things alive, etc., but the smell offends me almost like no other. All it takes is a good breeze and I'm surrounded by it.

Yep, petty, I know, but its what I've got today.

Tennis...Almost: So I was all set to try some tennis today and first we get to the courts and they say that from 6-8 is only for club tennis (even though there are 4 courts wide open). I persist and they say that "if the back courts are open, then we can use them." How gracious of them to share (read sarcasm here). The warm up goes well but my friend and I notice the storm clouds rolling in. It's been sunny all day but at 6:30 pm, we get dark clouds. We try to keep playing but about 15 minutes into our warm up the wind goes from subtle to gale force and the ball is bouncing about 3 feet to the south....which is usually away from me and my racquet. We make it through 3 games but the wind is just too much. As we head out we start to see the lightening, and I drive almost directly into the storm on the way home...and have to stop at the store to get my prescription...right next to the fresh mulch. Nice full-circle.

Men of the Stacks: So a friend of mine put together a calendar of male librarians called Men of the Stacks: http://menofthestacks.com/. Not sure if I'll be able to buy one on my current non-existent budget but all of the money goes to a very worthy cause (The It Gets Better Project). When I first heard about the calendar I thought they were nuts, but after seeing only a teaser I can say that it looks like it was well put together. And as for the It Gets Better Project, I can only continue to show my support and hope that I can help out some day. Straight or gay, it doesn't matter - no one deserves to be bullied and everyone deserves a chance at happiness. Keep you head up!

Day 15: 9/26/11 - "Breakaway"

"Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And If I'd end up happy,
I would pray.."

- "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson

Happy Birthday Daddy! Despite my own sadness, I could at least smile today as I called my father to wish him a happy birthday. I miss him and my family so much, so any time I talk to them I feel even more isolated. But I know I'll be home soon for Thanksgiving. It's always fun to talk to my Dad, though he rambles on sometimes. His youngest brother (and only remaining sibling) is living with him now, so I worry about him less, but Dad tells me that my uncle is pretty much deaf now...and won't go to the doctor to have his hearing checked out. Sounds like I'm going to have to try to talk to him when I go home. And a fun surprise - My Auntie called this morning to get Dad's phone number so she could call and wish him a happy birthday. She also wished me a belated happy birthday. It's one of the strange things about my Mom's side of the family that I love dearly: My Auntie is my mom's oldest sister but she still calls my Dad on his birthday (and still remembers his birthday) though my parents are no longer married. She also threatens my dad if he doesn't come to Thanksgiving dinner (we always have it at her house) and she gets mad at him when he doesn't come visit. Love you Daddy and Auntie (and all of my family) and miss you all very much.

Tony Romo: Are you kidding me? You played last week with a broken rib and a punctured lung and some idiot decided that a pain shot and a protective vest would be enough to let you actually play tonight? Am I missing something? Like normal logic and intelligent thinking? Who in their right mind thinks that its a good idea to play football only a week and a day after suffering the injury that Tony Romo suffered (and no, I don't think it matters that he wanted to play - someone still needed to step up and sit his butt down!

Crying: Yep, started tearing up again today...really got to shake this because I'm annoying myself. I can say that I didn't cry in my dreams last night and the one I really remember was just strange. Let's just say that I was being chased by someone and I couldn't see where I was going but I knew by feel how to find my way down the stairs, out the front door and down the street...bare foot. I ended up hiding out in someone's car and then in someone's house. Then, poof, mom and dad are there to get me and take me home. And we are fussing at mom about all of the extra bags she has. Nothing in this dream made sense but it was a mixture of crazy things I had read (Zoo City), seen (Hawaii 5-0), and experiences (traveling with my parents). But the real question is why? And what does it mean when I dream about my parents coming to my rescue?

New Aches and Pains: Today I have discovered two new aches and pains. My left hip now hurts after I sit down for extended periods of time. And I now have a recurring pain in my right side. Now trying to catalog these things and see if I can figure out what is causing them.

Tennis tomorrow? I hope so! It's been a while but I think I can get out there and give it a go. Despite how tired I am, I truly believe that I need as much exercise as I can get. Better pack my stuff tonight so that I'll be ready to go in the morning. Let's hope my new aches and pains don't prove to be too difficult for me to overcome....or that it rains.

Congrats! Last but not least, a hearty congratulations to my friend HDC who apparently is married now. I wish her and her husband much happiness and hope I get to see both of them again soon.