Day 361: 9/6/12 - "All At Once"

"All at once I started counting teardrops 

and at least a million fell  

My eyes began to swell  

And all my dreams were shattered, 

all at once

 
All at once, 

I'm drifting on a lonely sea  

Holding on to memories  

And it hurts me more than you know 

So much more than it shows  

All at once..."

-"All At Once" by Whitney Houston

I'm Not Made of Money!  Why do people in my family think I have money to spare?  How dense are they?  They tell me their struggling and ask me to help.  I'm the only one in my family who lives alone...who has to support her own household alone...who pays her bills by herself...who is paying other people's bills because she was trying to be helpful in the past and now it's bitten her on the ass.  But do they care about that?  No!  If you want more money, then stop smoking, and drinking, and buying new shoes, and going on trips that burn up your gas!  I don't even get to do that because I'm paying your damn bills!  Show me some respect and at least acknowledge what I've done to help you even if you never have any intention of trying to pay me back.  Stop ignoring what you owe me and at least make an effort!  And stop having your children ask me for help to.  They are YOUR children - you need to take care of them!!!  I don't even have my own children and may never have my own children, but guess what?  Even if I could have children, I couldn't afford to take care of them because I'm paying for your mistakes!!!  How is that fair?  How is any of this fair?