Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Day 58: 11/8/11 - "Sweet Surrender"

"It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I’ve left behind me
Is a cold room
I’ve crossed the last line
From where I can’t return
Where every step I took in faith
Betrayed me"

"Sweet Surrender" by Sarah McLachlan 

Tomorrow I Go...I'm off to Atlanta tomorrow for a conference and I find myself tired just thinking about it.  What is this feeling that makes me want to just crawl into bed, curl into a ball, and sleep?  What is this type of tiredness that makes you feel as if no matter how much sleep you get, you still need more?  Why do I wake up feeling wearier and wearier each day?

Are You Serious?  I thought the situation at Penn State was bad enough, but now it is getting worse.  Has anyone else noticed that once a scandal breaks, it tends to build and grow as time passes?  When they first broke the Tiger Woods scandal, there was one woman, then two, all the way up to fourteen by the time they were done.  The recent Herman Cain controversy started with one woman, then two, and now there are four.  At Penn State there were eight victims and now nine.  I suspect there are many more who will never step forward.  And then I watched a special on the new NBC show "Rock Center" about forced sterilization in the US, especially in North Carolina, and I realize that it can always be worse...

Who Am I?  I find myself asking myself that question each day when I wake up and look in the mirror.  Who am I?  Who do I want to be?  Where am I going?  Where do I need to be?  I don't have any answers right now.  I have to wait until tomorrow and hope that I will wake up with a clear answer.  Is there a clear answer?

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