"Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so..."
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so..."
- "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan
Tired: I'm tired of it all right now. Tired of thinking too hard. Tired of failing. Tired of not being good enough. I wonder if this type of "tired" is worse for my health than physically being tired? Do they manifest in the same way? I know this type of tired won't respond to sleep like my physical fatigue. I even suspect that it will only get worse.
Dreams: One of my staff members asked me today why I had given up on my dreams and I could only give her half of the truth. The whole truth was too hard, too embarrassing for me to admit to her or to anyone else in public. What is the truth? I'm not smart enough to make my dreams come true successfully. I'm scared of the failure I know I would be. The part I could tell her? That I did not want to be selfish and hurt my family by going after my dreams. They think I'm successful - I don't want them to know just how wrong they are.
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