"In a way I need a change from this burnout scene
Another time, another town, another everything..."
- "Shattered by O.A.R.
I Feel Heavier...As if some great weight, something even heavier than all of the mess I'm already carrying, was just thrown across my shoulders. This weight is new and I can't seem to put my finger on it, but it feels almost real with its mass, bearing down on me, making my back and legs hurt; making my neck strain as I try to remember to straighten up; making my head hurt; and making anything I do seem to be the toughest thing I've ever had to do.
What Would You Change? Talk about a loaded question. I posted on FB that I wanted to start my life over (knowing what I already know now), and one of my friends asked me what I would change. There is no way I'm posting that on FB because the list would be too long and also too personal. But I'll post parts of it here so that I can at least get some of this off of my chest:
- I would avoid the abuse that I suffered for so many years. No one should have to endure that and though I survived, it is a set of memories that I could live without.
- I would have never put chemicals in my hair (sounds simplistic, but you have to understand the cost - mental, physical, monetary - that goes along with putting chemicals in your hair.
- I would have played more sports and taken up tennis at an earlier age.
- I would have insisted that I be taken to the doctor for my continuous medical issues instead of suffering from them for so many years.
- I would have gone to a different college - I loved OU but it was not where I needed to be.
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