Day 111: 12/31/11 - "Easy"

"Easy to bitch
Easy to whine
Easy to moan
Easy to cry
Easy to feel like there ain't nothing in your life
Harder to work
Harder to strive
Harder to be glad to be alive
But its really worth it if you give it a try"

-"Easy by Cowboy Mouth

Is it Worth It?  I find myself asking this question as I try to recover from my first ever 8 mile run.  The amount of pain I was in as I finished the run was surprising even to me.  I usually have enough endorphins to carry me at least to the shower before the pain kicks in.  I started hurting around the 7.5 mile mark and it only got worse.  Then, as I was fixing my breakfast, I found myself feeling like I was going to black out and I had to sit down and rest.  I haven't quite recovered as the day progressed and I still feel a little shaky in the legs.  I'll have to try to figure out what caused the illness following the run.  That usually only happens if I get really overheated and today the temperature was in the 50's as I ran.

What Will I Do Differently?  The new year officially begins for me in 23 minutes and I'm not overly excited about it.  I'm not even really celebrating it, as I sit here and type and try to watch the New Year's Rocking Eve.  I haven't really decided if I would make a resolution this year.  I made and kept one last year.  This year, I think I need to just be true to myself and stop letting others dictate or even try to dictate my life.  Unfortunately I realize that this will mean I'll likely alienate some people, and piss a few others off.  But at this point in my life, I can't worry about that.  I'm tired of others messing with my life and I'm definitely tired of being stepped on and misused.  No more!


Some Things Will Remain the Same: Now 19 minutes until the new year and as always I'm here alone.  Even when I used to spend the time with my parents, they would fall asleep before midnight.  The few nights I went out I either wound up being the 3rd wheel or the designated driver.  This year I decided to just stay inside and not deal with the craziness that I'm sure is going on out there right now.  I just hope my friends who are out likely over-imbibing are being safe and all make it through the night safely.  Me, I'll just sit here alone as I always do...

Happy New Year