Day 22: 10/3/11 - "Glitter in the Air"

"Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone"

-"Glitter in the Air" by Pink

National Night Out: I didn't even realize it was going on until I heard chanting as I worked late tonight. At first I thought the students were rioting (you never know!).  But then I realized they were marching around campus, holding up signs and loudly proclaiming that they were men and women who deserved the right to walk at night.  I wish I had known it was happening before their surprise march-through - would have been good to add some support.

What a Day! I don't even know where to begin - today was one of those days when I wanted to just sit in my office and cry or scream.  Even as I felt I was finally getting a handle on things, something else landed in my lap, on my desk, in my e-mail (you get the picture) and I find myself buried up to my neck once again.  I didn't get off until 7:30 pm - didn't get home until 8:00 pm - and didn't finish my prep work for my class tomorrow until 11:30 pm.  Yes, I am tired.  I think that statement just about sums it up for me from top to bottom.  I'm tired.

Where Did My Dreams Go?  I tried to sit down and think about what my dreams were for myself when I was a little girl and I realized I never really had any.  I think it was because I knew that they would never come true.  I've always been very practical, even from an early age, and I think I knew even back then that dreaming, at least for myself, was a waste of time.  So I dream for others.  I dream that my family members will all have exactly what they truly want out of this life.  I dream that my friends will be happy and also find what they want out of this life.

Anger: I've discovered that my ability to become angry is only matched by how quickly I can become sad.  One minute I'm ready to punch a wall, the next I'm ready to crumple into a corner and bawl (of course, if I punch a hole in the wall I'll automatically need to crumple into a corner to bawl due to the pain).  I'm hoping this is due to the thyroid medication.  I saw an ad on a website (yes, one of those pesky tracking ads that offers me information about things they think I will like) that says that 80% of women on thyroid hormone will never experience stable emotions again.  That is not something I ever wanted to read.