Day 48: 10/29/11 - "Wish You Were Here"

"The world's a roller coaster

And I am not strapped in..."

- "Wish You Were Here" by Incubus

5.5 Miles: That's how far I ran today...outside...for the first time in months.  I'm hoping it was because my medicine is finally kicking in and giving me back some of my energy.  It could also be because the weather was so much cooler I could actually run without sweating so much that I lost all of my nutrients.  I can never replace them fast enough, especially when I'm running outside.  I actually ran the entire time as well and didn't have to walk at all.  So I'm feeling a little more accomplished than before.  My time wasn't great and I know I likely was only running about 4.5 mph (I used to average 5.5 or higher), but I need to remind myself that I accomplished something today and I should be proud.  My poor knee isn't too happy about it though.  I didn't have any trouble while I was running but it is store and stiff now, so I'll have to give it some TLC.

Genealogy Research: I started doing my genealogy research again today.  It's been a while since I worked on the project and it felt good to get back to the "finding" part of things.  I have the Franklin County Marriage's 1884-1903 book right now and I'm checking it with my 1910 census records.  I hope to check it with a few other times too but that will have to wait to see if I can actually get through 1900 before I have to return the book to the library that it was borrowed from.  I also split time with knitting today, though I know I need to be writing.  I just don't have the motivation right now.  Speaking of motivation...

Motivation: I have none when it comes to work.  I don't understand why even thinking about my job makes me want to curl into a ball and sob.  Not a good feeling to have at all.  I remember the drive I had when I first started.  Is it just the fact that my hormones are out of whack right now?  Or is it something else?  Am I blinding myself to some important truth while I try to find a way to encourage myself to keep working?  Who is this person who feels like a complete waste of space?