Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Day 38: 10/19/11 - "I Try"

"Games, changes and fears,
When will they go from here?
When will they stop?"

- "I Try" by Macy Gray

Hypothyroidism: Before my surgery, I had a slight case of hypothyroidism, based on my symptoms, but not based on my blood work.  Today I went back in for my 6 week check up and was told that I was severely hypothyroidic (is that a word)?  Let's just say that my doctor told me to double my dosage over the next 4 days because my levels were so low.  The only good news is that I haven't lost my mind.  I thought all of these strange symptoms were just me not doing well in general.  I'm hoping that once I get myself to a normal level I will start to feel more human.  Right now I'm always on edge and depending on the provocation, I either want to yell at someone or cry...tonight it is cry.  How embarrassing is that?  To be having a normal conversation with someone about something that is pretty innocuous, and all of a sudden I'm sniveling because I'm fighting the urge to cry.  Hell, I'm fighting the urge to cry right now!

Book Sale - Day 3: I found out that we out-sold last year's book sale after only the 2nd day.  Now I have a new goal for the sale - I'd love to be able to donate $2,000 to charity for this sale.  I think it would be a great showing for us and really help uplift the spirits of many involved in the campaign.  Who knows, it might lift my spirits as well.

Born in the Wrong Time: I used to say that I thought I was born in the wrong time.  I have the type of mentality that I always thought would be better appreciated in years past.  But a friend just reminded me of something that I don't think about.  If I had been born in a different time, in the past, I would not have made it past my 27th birthday.  Why?  Gall bladder disease, for one.  It would have killed me when it flared up 8 years ago.  Even if I had survived that, what about the thyroid issue?  And add in the fact that I have an astigmatism and I would have been running around the world unable to see two feet in front of my face.  Guess I need to start being grateful I was born when I was.

Writing Buddy: A friend of mine suggested that we try to support each other as writing buddies.  I hope it will be enough to get me moving on finishing some of my work.  I really need to complete at least one of my stories.  I know that they won't sell, but I have to finish something.  I can't go through life failing at everything I try...

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