Day 41: 10/22/11 - "Something's Always Wrong"

"Another day of putting things aside

As if we'll come back to them sometime"

- "Something's Always Wrong" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Knitting Projects: I finally finished the scarf that matches the hat for my friend in Nashville.  I'll have to steam the scarf to get it to uncurl but other than that, it is ready to go.  I even started on the first of 4 baby blankets that I hope to make over the next few months.  Unfortunately, knitting is no longer relaxing me as I find myself again being angry with myself for not being able to knit faster, knit better, and finish projects as I should.  I know that knitting is not my career and won't be my livelihood in any way, but I can't help but feel as if I'm again failing at something.

Selfishness: I had one of those experiences today where I was contacted by someone who wanted something from me.  This person had not bothered to check on me after my surgery via FB, text, phone, e-mail - nothing.  But as soon as they wanted something, they text me and ask for a favor that in the long run involves money.  It made me angry because I keep hoping this person will learn to be more compassionate and more human as they get older, but I see them getting more and more self-centered.  It scares me because I realize that this is part of what this whole current generation is like.  I'm surrounded by selfish people and selfishness and it makes it even harder than normal for me to make up for my own selfishness.

Sports: I hate it when I'm already feeling down and the teams I want to win in a sporting event, all lose.  This just makes me so much sadder than I was before and even though I know it is irrational, I still can't help having a real reaction to something that impacts the lives of others.  I also left my tennis match today feeling disgusted in myself for not playing better.  I miss the confident player I used to be, the one who didn't worry if her knee would hold her, or if her ankle would support her quick movements.  Will I ever be that person again?

Pretty Pancakes: I decided that I finally needed to add a new picture to my site - it has been rather plain as of late.  I'll eventually put a picture of some knitting up, but just to hold things over, here is a picture of the stack of pancakes I made for brunch today.

These are whole-wheat with strawberries on top - no berries inside.  Basic recipe for those interested follows:

Pancakes

1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp sugar
2 tbsp unsweetened applesauce
1 egg
3/4 - 1 cup of skim milk

Combine all of the ingredients.  Add the milk as you mix so that you can make sure that the batter is at the right consistency (not too thick but also not too thin).