"Difficult not to feel a little bit
Disappointed and passed over
When I look right through,
See you naked but oblivious
And you don't see me..."
-"3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle
Lost Dreams: Some dreams die so silently that no one else ever notices their loss. But I notice because they were my dreams. And though they drifted away easily, I still feel the pain that comes with that loss. Other dreams refuse to go quietly. They linger and rear their heads, giving you a false sense of hope that one day you'll be able to achieve those dreams. There is even more pain involved in their loss because you feel as if they have been ripped away from you, like a piece of your soul has been torn out - a gaping hole left behind. How do you fix that hole? How do you replace that piece of your soul, taken away so violently? How do you risk dreaming again, knowing that with those dreams can come pain and loss? I don't have an answer for any of those questions. I'll still dream, as I always have, and I'll hope that one day one of those dreams will come true. But I'll also bear the scars of the dreams I've lost, and I'll mourn their passing. So if I am sad over the next few days, it is only natural and not long term. I'll go through the stages of grief until I finally come out on the other side. Then I'll start the cycle all over again.
Battle of Wills: I think I'm stuck in a battle of wills with someone but they don't realize that I realize that we are in this battle. I think they think that I'm too stupid to realize what they are trying to do. I don't think they realize that I'm playing with them now...and enjoying watching them do all of the things that a childish person does when they don't know what to say or how to act. I wish others could see this as well - I think they would find it highly amusing. And I'm sorry to inform this person that I won't break first. They'll have to be the ones to call this off - I won't give them the satisfaction of doing it for them!
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