Day 204: 4/2/12 - "Maybe"

"Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change"

-"Maybe" by Sick Puppies

Extremes: I don't always think about things in a philosophical way and most of what I type will likely be classified as bull.  But on occasion I take note of something that really catches my eye and today it was the extremes that I saw in the weights of the young women who go to college here.  I say extremes because as I was people watching on my way in to work, I noticed that the girls were either very heavy or very thin.  I saw only a few girls who would be classified as "average."  Since I've been in San Antonio I've been told just how "large" the population is in general.  So, though it saddens me to see it, I'm not surprised when I see a large number of girls (and boys) with sever weight problems.  But I was surprised at the number of girls I saw who have extreme weight issues in the other directions, as in "too thin.".  Now, I know that there are some people who are naturally thin.  I've know a few of them in my time and I know they eat, don't overdo it on the workouts, and are healthy people.  They are just thin.  But some of these women are beyond just thin - they are sunken in, bones sticking out, stooped over, with thinning hair, and noticeably bad teeth.  I'm not sure whether I hope they have a medical issue or whether it would be better to have a mental issue.  Either way, I ache for all of them.  I know what it's like to be the severely heavy young girl and self-conscious of how I look and how others see me.  And, contrary to popular belief, I've never been that too-thin girl, but I know what it is like for others to say that you are too thin, so I try not to judge.  I just wish that society would work in a way that we could all achieve a healthy balance, because that is all we should be trying to obtain!

Bravery, Stupidity, or Some other Status in the Middle?  I tackled something tonight that many others have said they wouldn't bother trying to do...because they were worried about possible repercussions.  But I refuse to have someone else's illogical behavior or the possibility of something bad happening keep me from doing the right thing.  When you are given the chance to participate in an important process, you have to do it.  Look at the state of our democratic society?  Our voter percentages are embarrassingly low.  So many people want to complain about those who are in power, but most of them didn't vote and won't vote this year either.  But voting is more than a right, it is a necessity!  Look at how many years we've had to fight to get access to voting for so many different people?  And look at all of the issues we still have with voter intimidation!  I won't be cowed!  And the process I participated in is also supposed to be anonymous and confidential.  Do I think that is true?  Hell no!  Where there is a will, there is a way.  And where there is evil, there is corruption.  Will there be repercussions?  I suspect so, bu I hope I will still have my backbone and be able to stand up and say "it was all true, so why shouldn't I say it?"  If you can't face the truth about yourself, then you have a bigger issue than you know.  Do I face my own truths?  Every damn day - which is why life is so hard sometimes.  It's harder being happy, optimistic, and successful when you know what your life really is.  I've finally learned that others sit in a haze of fake happiness, a world that they've created by lying to themselves.  Who's life is actually better?  I can't argue that now, but I can say that I think I'm better off with the truth.