"I am sailing on the sea of life with no lighthouse ahead
I am on two boats with one foot in each one I stand
They are drifting farther losing balance I am sinking
Can I hold this facade?
...External looks and first impressions can be so deceiving...
This is my life and I am drowning
Can I keep two worlds apart?
Should I brace for a collision?
Don't see me more than what I am
I am standing on the mountain of uncertainty
Should I take this leap of faith and pray I'll stay in one piece
I am confused I am alone I don't know where I'm going
And there you are you're thinking I have no important problems
That my decisions are just issues of conformity
But if you look a little deeper in my situation
There's so much you don't see
This is my life and I am falling
Can I find some solid ground?
...You say you know me but you haven't got a clue about me
I have different layers and multiple dimensions
But if you think that you can understand me
Just open your eyes
This is my life and you don't know me
There's only been one side you've seen
Anticipating this collision
I'm so much more than what I seem
This is my life and I am changing
The future isn't clear to me...
-"Collision" by Tim Be Told
A Successful Failure? When can a failure actually be a success? I'm trying to figure this out because I'm heading straight for a failure with a project I'm working on. But part of me things that it would be for the best if the project failed. It's a case of not know what the end product would be until you were knee deep in the building materials. That's where we are now and the plans we had aren't for the materials were have. So no matter how hard we try to complete our house according to the blueprints and plans, we are going to get something vastly different from the schematics in hand. I hate failing - it happens too often in my life. But I guess I'll just have to suck it up like I always do.
Snowball: Today I described my week like this - a snowfall going downhill and heading straight for a tree. I now realize that it's even worse than that. I'm a snowball in hell and if I don't find a way out, I'm going to end up as a puddle of water. Yes, a little overly visual today but that's how I've been lately. My icing on the cake today? I got a notice form my bank that told me that I was overdrawn. I was surprised and confused because I had already balanced my checkbook and I shouldn't have been anywhere near a zero balance. I pulled out my check register and started checking everything. What did I find? I found that I can't subtract properly. I was off by a $100. That $12 over is going to wind up costing me more once the bank gets done charging me a fee. I transferred money over but I doubt I did it in time. Lesson learned - It won't happen again. But it sure didn't help with my disposition at all!
A Successful Failure? When can a failure actually be a success? I'm trying to figure this out because I'm heading straight for a failure with a project I'm working on. But part of me things that it would be for the best if the project failed. It's a case of not know what the end product would be until you were knee deep in the building materials. That's where we are now and the plans we had aren't for the materials were have. So no matter how hard we try to complete our house according to the blueprints and plans, we are going to get something vastly different from the schematics in hand. I hate failing - it happens too often in my life. But I guess I'll just have to suck it up like I always do.
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