Day 245: 5/13/12 - "Not Ready to Make Nice"

"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round..."

-"Not Ready to Make Nice" by The Dixie Chicks

Blindsided: It's funny how some thing sneak up on you that you think you've put away in the past.  That happened today as I was walking over to the store.  It just hit me that I was angry about things that happened to me when I was younger.  I can say that I am over what happened but it definitely looks like it can still anger me.  I think its more about the repercussions of what happened, how my life has turned out as compared to theirs.  I know that life is unfair - I don't care about that.  But I don't have to be happy about the fact...

Silence is Golden: I just don't want to talk today.  I don't want to hear about how well your life is going...it will only remind me of how badly mine is going.  I don't want to hear about your love life, your family, your job, your car, your house, your happiness.  I don't want to hear about you.  Is that selfish of me?  Yes, but stop and think about all of the conversations we've had.  Weren't they all about you?  Maybe the selfish one is not me, but rather you.  Don't call me...I don't want to talk right now.  Don't e-mail me, I don't have the time to respond.  Don't text me, I just don't care right now.  Maybe I will again one day, but right now I just...don't...care...