"Only thing I ever could need, only one good thing
Worth trying to be and it's
Love
Worth trying to be and it's
Love
I do it for Love..."
-"Bottle It Up" by Sara Bareilles
Better Late Than Never: I've always known that my father loved my mother with all of his heart, but my father isn't known for his emotional intelligence or for being able to talk about his emotions. He tells me he loves me without any trouble - I'm his daughter and that makes sense to him. But in all the time he was with my mom, he never said those words to her. They've been on again, off again for some time now and lately they are back on again...that's another story. This story is about the phone call I got tonight where my mom asked me very cryptically what I thought my father had just said to her. I said I didn't have a clue. She said she had asked him why the hell he had put up with her all of these years. His response? "Because I love your ass, that's why." Not eloquent or sweet, but definitely overdue and just like my dad. Definitely better late than never, and I hope I find someone some day that says the same thing to me...even if not in so many words. Good luck mom and dad, I love you both.
Dreading Tomorrow: Though I love my mother very much and hope she has a wonderful day tomorrow, I'm also dreading the day as I have for the last 10 years or so. I try not to go anywhere public because people insist on saying Happy Mother's Day to me, though I have no children. It makes me sad because I want children and always thought I would have at least one child by now. It's another holiday where I'm reminded that I'm alone and just how much I've failed at my own life goals. I know in my heart that never being a mother does not make me less of a woman, but I can't help feeling that way. I wish others would understand that and refrain from breaking my heat with their words...
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