Day 182: 3/11/12 - "Big Eyed Fish"

"Look at this big eyed fish swimming in the sea
Oh,how he dreams to be a bird
Swooping diving through the breeze,
So one day he 

Caught this big old wave up on to the beach,
Now the fish is dead you see
cuz fish should know to stay down in the sea,
But oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side...

You see this crazy man
Decided not to breathe
Turned red, then blue, purple
Colorful indeed,
No matter how his friends begged and pleaded,
The man would not concede,
And now he's dead, you see,
The silly man should know you got to breathe

But oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side...
But oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem so much better on the other side
No way... no way.....no way out....

See this monkey sitting up in his tree,
One day, decided to climb down,
Run off to the city, but
Look at him now, drunk and tired
Living in the street,
As good as dead you see,
A monkey should know to stay up in his fucking tree

But, oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side
Oh, God,
But under the weight of life,
Things seem so much better on the other side
No way, no way, no way, no way out....

Oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side
Brighter on the other side,
Oh God, Under the weight of life...
no way... no way..."

-"Big Eyed Fish" by Dave Matthews Band

Full Lyrics Tonight: I'm posting full lyrics tonight because this song hit me hard.  I saw so many different interpretations running through out it that I had to use the song to write this post.  I felt the lyrics were trying to tell me something, but the fun (and scary) part of interpretation is that you can pretty much make it into what ever you want to.  But here is what I "got" from the song tonight:

Be Who You Are: The fist that wanted to be a bird dies because he tries to be something he isn't.  I feel that way all the time, as if I'm being something that I'm not supposed to be and one day it will kill me because I won't be able to breath any longer. The only difference between me and the fish right now is that the fish was where he was supposed to be and tried to go where he couldn't.  I'm not where I'm supposed to be and I fear that if I don't find that place where I'm supposed to be, that something bad will happen and I won't ever be able to go there.  I'll be trapped in this place that I'm not built to exist in and I'll die because I can't adapt.

Listen to Those Who Love You: How many times have we seen someone trying to destroy themselves doing something stupid.  No matter what we say or do, they don't listen.  And they keep doing it even though they know for themselves that it is stupid.  The old man had to have known that not breathing would kill him and his friends and family tried to tell him as well.  But he didn't listen and it killed him.  I see this from two sides.  One, I should listen to those who truly love me and not do something stupid.  Also, I need to realize that there are times where no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to save some people.  They will insist on doing something stupid that will hurt them and I just need to let it happen.

I could go on but I think the last part is pretty self-explanatory...there are times when, under the weight of life, things look better somewhere else.  But you have to decide if this is really true or if you'd just be going from one bad situation to another one.  That's where I feel I'm at now...looking at the other side of the fence and seeing that lush, green grass.  But is it really as sweet as it looks?  Or am I destined to fall into the trap set for me by life?  Am I that monkey who didn't have enough sense to stay in my effing tree?