"I don't want the whole world
The sun, the moon and all their light
I just wanna be the only girl
You love all your life....."
-"All Your Life" by The Band Perry
Not Good Enough: I was trying to catch up on some of my DVR'd shows today (in between the football games) and I wanted an episode of Body of Proof. The episode was about a girl who died on her wedding day but the underlying theme was this idea that some people go too far to change the way they look and how others often erroneously support those decisions and changes (or even encourage them). But it was also about how insecure many of us really are. There was a part where one of the characters said "There are days where I feel I'm just not good enough" (or something like that) and the other character replied that he was in the same boat. And there I was nodding along with them. I've definitely had days like that. I'm disgusted by the decision that I make based on how I see myself. Even at my current age, I'm embarrassed to say that I still want to change myself so that I'll be more attractive to people. I keep asking myself what I could do - how much harder I can work to achieve some major body differences. That way I won't hate myself and maybe someone else could at least like me a little. I know it all starts with me though, and I know I have to be real with myself both on the inside and the outside.
What a Day! I had one of those days where it started out a little crazy and then just sort of died down after that. I got up and ran nearly 5 miles this morning and then tried to play tennis, but got caught by the rain. Then tonight I decided to make myself some chicken noodle soup...and some oven roasted potatoes...and some homemade biscuits. No wonder I'm tired by 11:00!
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